Trying to goad the OM into a physical altercation is a bad Idea...

Here's one big reason why... If your wife and the other man are more than willing to engage in an affair that requires deception and lies to perpetuate... They'll lie about how the altercation started... You'll end up being the guy who thew the first punch and then got your A$$ beat by the OM. Don't put it past her, the other man and all her friends to LIE to benifit her.

Of course then your wife will tell her friends and family how you're a violent man who can't control his temper. You shouldn't be allowed around your kids because you're an abusive control freak who has serious mental problems.... Bla bla bla lie lie lie....

Not a good idea .... Don't do it.

(evil grin) Well, you could invite the most gorgeous woman you can find to go with you. Have fun, be carefree and live it up. Act like WW is a "cast-off", you're not interested in her anymore and you've moved on and up to better things. That should really get to them. It's not very MB-like, but...

You'll have many sleepless nights with similar thoughts about sticking it to WW and OM.

Just expect it as being normal.

I still don't think there's anything wrong with outing them in a social situation.

I just wouldn't get in OM's face.

But remember that YOU are the victim here, not her, not him.

So don't arm them by being hostile in any way.

I would go to the event. Make sure everyone knows you are fighting for your marriage. WW will most likely feel uncomfortable if you are there. OM will too.

Watch how much you drink though, as your inhibitions may go out the window, and you need to be aware of what you do at all times.

When I started going out, XH stopped. He and OW went into hiding and were not seen nor heard from for months.

Not an all the way around bad idea, except for the spitting part. You WOULD be egging him on and just as guilty as he if he took the bait.

I like the suggestion about showing up with a hottie.

Seriously, you should go and feel free to share with your common friends about what OM is and what's been going on. Just be careful about what you say and how much you drink. Keep a SMILE on your face!

I would probably stay home, but another alternative...what I wish I had the conflict raising hairs to do...would be to go. Other posters are right, they probably wouldn't stay long. Enjoy yourself, don't push it. If there are friends there, and they ask how you are doing, you can calmly say..."It's a weird night, my W is here with her BF, and she served me D papers this week, so I hope I don't have many days like this."

I'll bet that will get around the room. By keeping your composure and calm, you will look like the bigger person...

Don't drink alcohol. Drink coke. You need to have a clear mind and alcohol won't help. As a matter of fact it will cloud your judgment and loosen your inhibitions. Creates an enviroment ripe for bad descition making.

The more I think about it, the more I think I'd be better off NOT going. First, the OM and WW know the gym folks alot better than I do, and second, I can't trust myself to be calm. It's highly unlikely that I would be able to maintain a cool head. I'm still hurting too badly.

Also, I hear that she's been telling folks at the gym that she just wants to hurry up this divorce and get it over so she can start her new life with the OM. Just what I needed to hear this morning, because I was doing very well today. This morning started off with the best attitude I've had in a long time. That's gone now.

I would advise you to stay home. You don't sound like you are in a good place where you could handle a potential confrontation right now. Last thing you need is WW having some ammo against you. Regroup at home. You can still do damage to the affair from afar. You need to stop letting your WW's words deflate your resolve and stop worrying about pissing her off all the time. Your attitude is self defeating.

Blown up really big and underlined for effect.

Your emphasis is well-taken and understood. Generally speaking, my attitude has been improving on a daily basis ever since I took the checkbook, credit card, ATM card, and cell phone away. However, I do have my trying moments along the way, but I'm getting there.

I've printed the DOs & DONTs, the 180 degree method, and the Carrot and the Stick of Plan A and will read them every morning before WW gets up. It should provide inspiration, strength, and stability. We'll see how well I fare if she doesn't come home tonight again.

If she doesn't come home, I still say you should leave her stuff outside.

Have you warned her yet what will happen if she spends a night away?

I have not warned her yet. Is a warning necessary? We're also expecting snow tonight, so I don't want to leave it on the porch, which has a better visual effect than in the garage. I am also skeptical about grabbing all her clothes from my daughter's room which is where WW has camped out, especially since she'll probably be sleeping. I don't exactly know how I'll handle this with the kids, but I will certainly tell them that their mother's behavior is totally unacceptable and make sure they know that she didn't come home (again).

Leave it out in the snow? Why not.

Even better drop it off quietly at OM's driveway in the middle of the night while WW is there. If you don't know where OM lives drop them off at WW's parent's driveway that night.

Put the clothes in big trash bags.

And a warning is necessary. You've allowed the behavior to continue this whole time. Warning her says you are drawing a boundary.

You're not a doormat and won't be treated that way anymore. That's the message you're sending.

If she wishes to act single, then by all means. Move out, get your own place, get a job, pay your own bills, but Munnyguy is not an idiot anymore.

And the kids will know, when she does come home, that she was out with another man.

Set your boundaries. Live them. She will be ticked. That's not a bad thing.

You must end the affair.

I love my new little GPS toy. WW left at 9 am this morning to visit her mother, who has cancer, was just in the hosptial, and received grim news on her future. WW went to see her and she is parked at the OM's house (now I know where he lives), she is definitely at MIL (I called there and spoke to her), which means that she is there with the OM and he drove. I've been calling MIL every day to keep up with her health and plan to ask how long it's been since she was first introduced to OM. I may need to cut off communication with MIL, but I love her and don't want to have her end her life with this being my last communication. She's in a tough spot because she doesn't ewant to lose WW (only daughter) in her waning days.

Not sure what to do, but I recall seeing something about Spying 101. I need to read through that before proceeding with any type of game plan. Where can I find it?

So now you can catch her in her lie.

When she comes home, you ask, "How as OM?"

She'll say "I was seeing my mother."

You then say, "Is that why your car was at OM's house?"

You then give her the warning. "If you ever go to OM's house again, you can count on not coming home. Your things will be in the front yard."

Done. Warned and you show you have boundaries and balls.

Catching in her lie won't work that way, because she WAS at MIL's house, but WITH the OM, verified by her cousin's husband, as he saw his car there. I need another approach.

Now that you know his name and where he lives, find out his parent's phone number, XW's number, and expose on his side.

There is no need to confront your WW.

You already know she's having an A.

But, if she tells you or your children she was visiting her mom, you can correct her and say, "Actually, she was w/ OM, visiting your Grandmom."

Remember, when she asks you how you know, tell her, "You're my W, I know everything you do."

And then walk away.

Now, get the intel on OM family, and EXPOSE!!!

Click here----> SPYING 101