First off, I want to say thank you for being here, your point of view is wonderful to have.

I am wondering if any of you have anything you could say that you think would help my WH who's fog seems to be starting to lift. He is a very stubborn man and I was thinking that maybe some words from your point of view would help.

Honestly, he doesn't believe in the whole "addicted" thing yet, but did think it was interesting.

If anyone can relate to where he has been mentally and where he is now, maybe he would be a little more open to what you have to say.

Thank you all so much.

Anybody??? bump

Do you plan on showing your WH this site? I'm not sure that this would be a good idea. He does not seem to have committed to your marriage and might still be in the old affair, or have started a new one. It might be counterproductive for him to know that you post here and gain access to your thread and the advice you are given.

ABM, I agree with Sugar Cane. Don't tell him about this site. And I think it's probably a waste of time trying to educate him about his addiction. I did the same thing and he wriggled out of every logical demonstration of fact. If he's too strongly in the grip of the A then 'there are none so deaf as those who will not hear.'

Tully

Actually, my plan was to just print out a few things, like truehearts letter, and any other responses for him to read.

There are days he seems like the fog is starting to lift. So, I just thought if he could hear from those that have been in this position, he would be more perceptive to what they are saying and not thinking this affair addiction thing is a bunch of crap.

IMO - when he's ready to work on the marriage, he'll seek out this kind of information himself. In fact, I'd use that as a gauge to see how committed he really is to repairing the marriage.

If you try to feed him the info, you rob him of the opportunity to prove his sincerity when he says he wants to reconcile.

Also, if you feed him the info, he's more likely to pretend to go along with it, just to make you be quiet and leave him alone, while he really isn't yet committed to the marriage at all.

You can't do his work for him. All you can do is meet ENs, avoid LBs, and figure out what requirements you have before you'll agree to stay married to him. One of your requirements may be a Marriage Builders weekend, that HE schedules. That's another good way to gauge his sincerity, plus it gets all the info in front of him without you being controlling, pushy, or manipulative (which is how waywards usually interpret a BS' attempt to educate them).

Very good point turtlehead. He probably would see it as pushy.

As far as a MB weekend, I have definatley looked into it since we live in MN but we just can't afford it.

Turtlehead is EXACTLY RIGHT! That is why I haven't posted to this thread yet...I am a FWS, but I, nor do any others, have a "magic bullet"...If we did, you can bet that that would be pinned to the top of this forum...all forums here actually...lol...

I read a lot of your thread late night last night ABM, and I think you REALLY need to follow that very wise advice that you have gotten there...PLAN B...

Mrs. W