This might be a tad heavy, but here it goes,...

I am in desperate need of guidance and advice, and I am sure you've heard my case many times before.

I am 39, I have been married for 7 years and have a beautiful boy I adore who is 6.
Our marriage has been in a quiet descent for many years. We cared for one another but...its cold and stale. We have no more sex and are practically roommates. But I do care about my wife and family is important to me.

6 months ago, what I've never ever done happened, I started a relationship with a co-worker. She is a tad younger, exiting and we've shared great moments together. She knew I was married but I told her ( not to get into her pants) what I was feeling at the time, that my marriage was close to finish, that I would probably end up separating. She told herself that this was a bad idea,in fact she knew it... but we just clicked, fell in love and it happened.

But now, she (my girlfriend), who loves me deeply, has been waiting, is depressed and moody because of this situation and is running out of patience, and I am also horrified and filled with guilt at leaving my wife, who depends so much on me, loves me and she was never outgoing and would be lost without me. I love her too, just in a different way.

So this is what hell must feel like, and I deserve it I guess. I feel miserable with my new found love, and I feel miserable with my wife, not because of her, but because of the guilt I feel.

I cant find peace, I am in hell. My wife senses something is not right and I know suffers, and my girlfriend is miserable and is really pushing me hard. We are all miserable.

Time has run out and my girlfriend has given me an ultimatum, she will not wait much longer, work has been intense, lots of deadlines to meet, stress all around, I am tired of leaving this double life. My only comfort comes when I see my son smile at me...He is the only thing that I fear hurting the most.

Time is what I don't have anymore, Its a crossroads.

This limbo I am in has led me to consider suicide, its bad, real bad.

I know its a stupid question, but what thoughts do you have about this?

Jose

"and I am also horrified and filled with guilt at leaving my wife, who depends so much on me, loves me and she was never outgoing and would be lost without me. I love her too, just in a different way."

Welcome to MB. I hope you will find the strength to ditch your girlfriend.

If you don't, you will feel worse and worse.

Your first step to ending your pain and ending the madness is to leave your girlfriend and confess your affair to your wife and bring her here.

I also suggest you notify a moderator and ask them to move your post to the GQII board where you will get more replies and great help.

Welcome to MB.