I was married for 9 years to the father of my 2 oldest kids 7 and 4. We were together for 12 yrs. We divorced because he cheated on me with over 8 women and I tried 3 years to tough it out. I was living on my own with my 2 kids and doing great! Was happier than ever. I met what seemed like the perfect guy who lived 4 hrs. away. So I was on cloud 9. He was sweet we seemed to have the same outlook on things he seemed possitive. He was a church goer alot of what I wanted in a guy. So after a little while I moved in with him 2mnths later moved out cause I missed home. when I got there I moved back cause I missed him. Turns out I should of stayed home I think. He has 3 other kids biologicly and 2 others from 2 previous marriages. I accept all the kids. We are now married and just had our baby girl 2 mnths ago..... before I got pregnant he would act like he was wrestling with me but hit me so hard I had huge bruises on my arms and buttocks. he was always insulting telling me things like yoru stupid why would you do somthing so stupid or call me retarted. His demeaner was that I was so far beneath him I was worst than dirt. his son who was 5 at the time had been getting into my panties and wearing them and would not stop no matter what. I thought he needed counceling my husband did not. He got mad at me over it and punched a new gallon of milk at me a it busted all over our kitchen then he proceeds to tell me I am worthless. there were alot of times like that. Mind you while I worked and he was at home. When I got pregnant I knew I was in for it. Because he and his family(who have money) are possesive about their children. I was told he had a vesectomy (he lied). Anyhow while I was pregnant he had shoved me up against walls or push me around. Once he even Pulled my arm around and up my back till I couldnt stand any higher on my tip toes while shoving me up against a shelf, all this he done at a local walmart. when I would cry in these incidents he would tell me to shut up and stop acting like a baby. yelling at me like I am some kind of dog. Since the baby has been born he hasnt touched me physicly. However I have taken so much pushing around and being shoved up against walls and talked down to the point that I feel depressed. I want out of this marriage because I have never had anyone make me feel so worthless, dumb and ugly. But I dont want out because I know he has the capability to be a good person. I cant get out because I cannot proove the abuse he gives or has given. And I have no money and do not want to loose my daughter to him or his family. He has nothing on me to call me unfit I am a good mother I have no criminal record never done drugs. But his family has deep ties in the legal system where we live and I know I am in for the fight of my life for my baby girl. This is just a tip of the iceburg....I wanted to go to a councelor but cannot afford it..... Help I have no clue how to handle this!!!

Verbal abuse is abuse.

And I want to quote someone here, although I don't remember who said it. "Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't, you're probably right." If you want out bad enough, you'll find a way. If you want to repair the marriage, there's great tools here. Whatever, though, you can't fix him. Have the verbal attacks stopped along with the physical? Or is he still verbally abusive?

Go to www.unitedway.org and ask them to help you find a woman's shelter and take your kids and leave immediately. He will end up killing you, and maybe your kids, too.

You don't have to prove anything to anyone. All you have to do is leave. United Way will help you get the help you need for lawyers and protection. Save up some money to pay for you and all your kids to move back home where they can help protect you and get you on your feet.

You don't need him, ok? You don't. And if you stay with him, he'll eventually kill you.

Read up about abuse - you'll see that you will NEVER change him, things will NEVER get better. Abusers never change; they can't.

So stop making that excuse and get over your fear, get United Way to help, and get back home where you belong.

No He is still very verbal. He never misses a chance to let me know how beneath him I am.

Here is what I know I face... I have no hard proof of the abuse his word against mine.. He is from a very recignised family though he isnt a great person his family is know as good people. Therefore his family has good strings to pull and even though his own mother told me I should not leave him alone with our kids. When push comes to shove she will not be on my side I watched her with his ex-wife and try to take her daughter from her when they didnt have any grounds to. They are all about possesion. If I cannot proove he is abusive then I can be in trouble for leaving the state with our daughter. I am working on it everyday to make it work. But I also have my side plan I am trying to work on to help me get out if I can't make this work.. The dummy installed security cameras at our house that record both activity and voice. So I feel a little more comfort knowing that one day he will fault and I will have my proof. I would rather of course make this work and help him overcome this. But his hate for women I am afraid is just to strong. to him I am simply a mother for his children, housekeeper and nothing more. But I also have my faith that God takes care of those who believe in him. And those who do wrong in general or wrong others will have it come back to them.

God doesn't want you to sit back and wait for your H to hurt you, either. He wants you to use the resources available to you to get help. That means going to a woman's shelter. You don't have to have ANY proof to go there.

You have been under his thumb way too long, and - like all abuse victims - you have lost touch with reality. You believe that HIS reality is the only reality. It's not. There are tens of thousands of people out there just waiting to help people like you get away from men like him.

And NO NO NO NO NO NO - he WILL NOT EVER change. Stop making excuses and protect your children. Make plans to leave and get help. Did you go to United Way like I said? Why not?

No I have not yet anyways. But However I did get a small piece of proof a couple days ago he had called me pathetic for wanting to watch a TLC program about Obese children. I just got up and went to our room so I didnt have to hear his crap. Well shortly after he came in to apologise to me then wanted me to have sex with him. I did not want to I was still bugged about the comment he made so that was the last thing I wanted with him. Well he kept trying to force me to do it but I was fighting him, well then he threw me down on the bed face down and was trying to seriously force me into it then started biting the back of my arm it hurt so bad I lost all my cool and started swinging and pushing at him to get off me. Then he got rough with me and I ended up with my cheek bone hurting it never left a mark just got real red. But however the next day I realised I had two big bruises on the back of my arm from his bite mark. I hid in my bathroom took a picture of it with my camera then emailed it to my email account. Sick as it sounds I was glad that I at least have that little proof. tonight his mom and I are going to a Yoglaties class together where I plan to bring a recorder becouse we always end up talking about his temper and things and she talks crap about him and admits she knows how he is and even that she is afraid of him. So I want to get that on tape so when this all goes down she will have to tell the truth and not lie for him like she has in the past.

That's physical abuse. Run. FAST.

Seriously. This only ends badly. I left an abusive ex, who ended up shooting the next gal. A gal I knew when I was much younger was murdered this New Year's Eve by her boyfriend, who was arrested in 2007 for hitting her.

RUN.

NOW.

FAST.

I can't emphasize this enough.

GO NOW.

NOW!!!

(I have a feeling you won't hear me, and and I want you to know now...I will mourn your brutal death, and I will wish I had done more to protect your precious children.)

You are addicted to the threats and drama......get out NOW before he kills you and/or your children and get yourself mentally and physically healthy!