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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 7
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Queen1 Offline OP
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 7
I'm tired of the emotional roller coaster. My WH keeps saying he doesn't know what he wants and can't make up his mind but we are his family. He can't have me and OW. It hurts too to talk to him and know that I can't be with him due him still having the OW. I gave him the letter and told him I no longer can see him or talk to him unless it's regarding our kids or an emergency.

Doing plan B was much harder than when I left my WH. I can't seem to stop myself from crying. I guess even though I left, I would still talk to him sometimes when he called. So now that I am cutting him totally off, my heart seems to be breaking into pieces.

I need to be strong to get through this.


Me (BW) 46
H (WH) 50
M 23 yrs
D 22, S 17, D 14
MS Separated
OW 33, OC 5, OC 9 mos
Put WH on Couch 2/07
BW moved out w/C 10/07 WH wouldn't go
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
You can do it! Just about the only way to get him back is if he stops the A, and PB is one of the only ways to get him to realize what he's giving up. So you're giving yourself the best chance possible.

And from what I've read, Plan B'ers say that it gets easier each day. They also say that a benefit of PB is that they can focus on themselves for probably the first time ever - something we can all benefit from once in a while. Consider it a much-needed rest stop.

{{{Queen}}}

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 7
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Queen1 Offline OP
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 7
Thanks for the encouragement. This is hard. I am hoping that this will get better with time. I am trying do some things to help occupy my mind and time. Otherwise, I feel upset and start crying again. Glad to have somewhere to pour my heart to and they understand where I'm coming from.


Me (BW) 46
H (WH) 50
M 23 yrs
D 22, S 17, D 14
MS Separated
OW 33, OC 5, OC 9 mos
Put WH on Couch 2/07
BW moved out w/C 10/07 WH wouldn't go
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 20
B
Junior Member
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 20
I too am getting ready to put Plan B into action. I hate to read that there are so many people in my situation. I have to start my plan because my WH will not let go of OW. I am like you....trying to occupy myself and just do anything to quit crying. I wish you the best of luck!

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 8
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 8
May God bless your heart so much. My D-Day was about three weeks ago and I keep thinking that I should be over this by now but everyone tells me to take my time. I keep crying too. I have found that reading Psalms has been a great strength builder for me. I find comfort in knowing God gives us our strength. We don't need to try to summons it ourselves. I will be praying for you because I know that when the one who is supposed to love us and protect us from hurt becomes the one who causes the most pain, it is the most difficult thing in life to overcome. But it is possible!!!!!!! Don't be afraid to cry and release the pain. If you let it out, you will be able to let it go someday. nd I pray your husband sees the love he will lose if he doesn't get his act straight. God will open many doors for you. If one closes, there is a better one down the hall for you to open!

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 125
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 125
My thoughts are with you. It's really tough when you can't stop crying. It feels like the misery is never going to end. When I went through it, it felt like I was never going to smile again but I did eventually.

Plan B is the very best way to force him to see what he's doing and what he's loosing and he's got to see that to get out of the fantasy land he's living in. It's tough for you but you're doing the right thing.

Good luck.


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