Discovered about 3 weeks ago, got "just friends" explanation, recorded proof of intercourse about a week ago. Got two kids aged 9 and 11, everything's at stake - I damn hell love this women - married 20+ years.

OM is from workplace and attraction started in Gym!

Now what do I do? I feel lost, humbled, and in shambles. Please advise...Thanks all!

Who did you expose to? Do they work together?

Read all you can on this site, start Plan A, and expose to everybody who can put pressure on the A.

They work together.

Exposed to her Mom, siblings, all friends.

Plan to expose to work manager and HR boss.

What should I do? Kick her out? Play tough?? So far I have been soft and convincing to please "End it!". Kids have been pleading with her too - they know everything!

What you must first find out is what YOU want.

More backstory would be good here.

Read this story and follow this betrayed husband's lead. It will inspire you!!!

Click Here

Also expose OMW/GF.

I definitely WANT HER BACK!

OM is divorcee with two kids.

Expose to his family if you can.

i would expose him at work and CHECK to see if he is really divorced. That is often a LIE.

Here is Plan A and here is what you should be doing:

The Carrot and the Stick of Plan A by Pepperband


The carrot of Plan A

Meeting your wandering spouse's emotional needs.

Making "home" a warm and inviting place to be.

Placing emphasis on what has worked in the marriage.

Showing consistent self improvement in areas where previously lacking.

Stop lovebusting behaviors.

Communicating with a calm reassuring voice and relaxed body language, even in the center of a verbal storm created by the infidel.

Becoming the person any reasonable spouse would want to come home to.

Remaining open to the possibility of recovery.

Offering forgiveness and understanding.


The stick of Plan A

Exposing adultery where it matters most. Exposure that takes the form of a swift and sudden unexpected tsunami of truth.

Not apologizing for exposure or speaking the truth in a kind yet direct way.

Directly communicating the hurt and devastation that the affair has caused.

Not accepting blame for the infidel's choice to become adulterous.

Let the consequences of adultery and infidelity fall freely upon the heads of the adulterous.

Establishing boundaries that disallow the affair to effect children of the marriage, financal security of the marriage, and otherwise ruin innocent bystanders.

Standing up to infidelity as a beast that must be slayed for the good of the family.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Plan A is both a *carrot* and a *stick*.

Heart,

""recorded proof of intercourse about a week ago""

RECORDED!!?? Video? Audio? JEEPERS!

Is the OM married? Girlfriend?

Expose to all the OM cares about. OM is a low life POS.

And the WW does not want to end it? So what is her plan?

She is still at home with you and the kids?

Plan A your A off. Read all about plan A. This plan has the carrot, being the best most wonderful husband you can be,...and the stick. STOP THE AFFAIR ANY LEGAL WAY POSSIBLE.

She is IN THE FOG. We have seen spouses leave family, friends, children, the entire American dream to follow those endorphin and dopamine addictions that are produced by their fantasy lovers...their soul mates.

You are fighting for your M, my friend, prepare for battle.

Keep posting here, and you will NOT feel lost!

You will know exactly what is happening, how she feels, and even what will happen next. We have all been there and seen many others here and THEY ALL experience the same scenario of events, read from the same script, and say the same things.

Stay strong! Take care of yourself.

kirk

Have you received any support from the family and friends you have exposed to?

If they are still going to the gym. I'd expose to the staff there as well.

Sorry you are here. There's many who understand what you're going through.

It's time to take an active role in eding the affair. That means exposure of the affair which means you need to confront her with your evidence, confront him, tell his family, including his kids (if they're adults) and tell your family.

Tell everyone and anyone who can put pressure on the affair to include friends.

She'll be furious, but this exposure puts the affair in the open.

Read a ton on this site and be strong. WWes will walk all over you because they can. The men who do well are the ones who take immediate action and are aggressive in pursuing their boundaries and rights as fathers.

Those who aren't successful are the ones who are afraid of upsetting their wives.

Take action. Be strong. Easier said than done, but keep reading and keep coming here for help and post more of your story so we can help understand and help you.

Is she remorseful?

How is she treating you?

Is this just a romp in the hay or is she "in love"?

What is it to OM?

What can you do to end the affair?

Agree that you need to find OM's family and expose there...you can find a lot out via the internet...his parent's names, siblings, etc.

Also, like Mel said...double check that he is divorced...he may not be; and expose at their work. Are you friendly with anyone at their workplace?

Then continue Plan A...but DO NOT BEG her to stay. That is really unattractive to waywards.

Exposed at work already.

Only sketchy details known about OM at this time.

What about car? Should I take it away too?

What is she saying about what she intends to do? Is the exposure having any effect?

You know what they say...

"The best revenge to a guy that steals your wife is to let him keep her"

And of course same goes with a BW.

The institution of marriage today has completely eroded and is on the verge of collapsing....Sad but true

Exposure is causing anger, resent, outbursts of hatred towards me. Says I am out to destroy her!

Also says she wants to let the A "playout" - whatever that means.

We're still staying together in same house with kids. She is in email/phone contact with OM.

This is a typical wayward wife response. Just know that it's normal.

Remember, if you're angering the WW, then you're doing what is right.

Affair playing itself out is code for, "Let me have my fun and just sit there and take it while I get my jollies. I know you'll be there once I'm done."

I see something in your last post which I need to emphasize in a big way:


DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES AND DO NOT LET HER TAKE THE KIDS!

If you leave she'll get the upper hand in custody and will really scr*ew you in the D if it gets to that.

Stay calm when she has her fits and simply say, "I will do whatever is necessary to end your affair and save this marriage."

Say it over and over and over again.

Calmly.

Stay strong.

Thanks for all the wonderful, empathic responses. You guys are just blessings for me.

I'm looking for recommendations for a Harley-minded MC in the San Francisco Bay Area, if anyone has one to share I'd be very grateful. WS has agreed to see a counselor, while still not letting go the OM.

I've decided NOT to move out of my marital home, and will be keeping both kids with me, until forced otherwise.