Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
J
Jean36 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
If I need documentation to show that a situation existed (such as that ExWH and I were living together as husband and wife, before the affair and divorce), would message board posts from a parenting type board where I talk of my "DH" be admissible?

If so, what do I need to copy and paste to do so.

I tried copy and paste just the post, but I could have typed that in anytime. If include the link from the page, will that do? Or is there a screen shot I can use.

Or am I just barking up the wrong tree.

Last edited by Jean36; 01/14/09 12:12 PM.

Me-41 BS (FWS)
DH-41 WS (FBS)
2DD's- 10 and 12
Married 15 years
Separated for 2 years after my A
Reconciled for 1 year before his A
D-day for his A 8/23/05
WH moved out 9/16/05
Divorce final 1/23/07
Affair ended or month or so later
My Story
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,715
O
Owl Offline
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,715
I don't see how posts you made would be "proof" of this.

If you're attempting to prove your H is lying about this, then the only way it might be considered "proof" is if your H made the posts, and he admitted in court that he did so.

But if these are posts you made describing the situation in the past, and you're attempting to use these as "proof" that you were married then...I don't see how it could be considered proof...it could just all be something you made up anticipating this situation.

As far as posts being admissable in court...I would think the only way that they would hold any value would be if the poster ADMITTED to making the posts in front of the court.

Make sense?

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 716
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 716
You're barking up the wrong tree. In fact, I don't think you've even made it to the forest. I'm sorry.

You would need actual proof of living together, such as bills addressed to your H at a shared address. That's documentation. Think paper, not pixels.

Remember, anyone can say anything on a forum/site. The act of posting doesn't make it true. Evidence needs to be able to pass the reality test.

Good luck. I'm sure you can find something.

Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
J
Jean36 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
Thanks guys, I figured it wouldn't hold up but I wanted confirmation.

My lawyer said to look for pics of us together, but one of us was always holding the camera! So I will enlist family to see if anyone took pics of us together during the period in question.


Me-41 BS (FWS)
DH-41 WS (FBS)
2DD's- 10 and 12
Married 15 years
Separated for 2 years after my A
Reconciled for 1 year before his A
D-day for his A 8/23/05
WH moved out 9/16/05
Divorce final 1/23/07
Affair ended or month or so later
My Story
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
J
Jean36 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
Oh, and for clarification, the posts I was thinking of were posts that I made during the time period in question. Not like here where my marriage is discussed in past tense.

For example, on a mothering board, there are posts where I am casually mentioning the daily life of DH, myself and the children. I thought if I showed that these were made in the years in question, that would hold some weight.

But you are right, I could have made up my happy family to fool people discussing cloth vs disposable diapers.

Oh well, on to digging through more stuff.


Me-41 BS (FWS)
DH-41 WS (FBS)
2DD's- 10 and 12
Married 15 years
Separated for 2 years after my A
Reconciled for 1 year before his A
D-day for his A 8/23/05
WH moved out 9/16/05
Divorce final 1/23/07
Affair ended or month or so later
My Story
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
2
Member
Offline
Member
2
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
Though you probably can't use posts in court, you may want a record of them for your files, as a sort of journal.

You could always come here to read them, of course, but if you want a copy with the correct dates and stuff for your own computer, first display the thread in "all" pages, then hit the print button and select the "save as pdf" option. That's on a Mac, but I can't imagine PCs don't have a similar print menu option.

-ol 2long

Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,719
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,719
You can testify about pictures that you took yourself. So a picture of your WH that YOU took is admissable.

A picture someone else took is heresay unless that person is there to testify that they took the picture. You being in it and talking about it isn't enough. The picture itself in not admissable because you didn't take it and it is therefore heresay.

The law is whacky like that. You can testify that you were there and that a picture was taken, but can't testify to a picture you yourself didn't take.

Believe me, I admitted a picture in my case and was grilled about when I took it, the date, time, weather conditions, and all kinds of ridiculous stuff.

So a picture you took of WH is admissable and not a bad thing to use.


D-Day 28 Feb 06
Plan D (Not by choice) - 24 March 06

DD6
DS4(Twin1)
DS4(Twin2)

She moved away with the kids April 08. I contested it and got a lot more time with my kids. She's unhappy that I want to stay involved in their lives and don't settle for being an "every other weekend" dad.

Never going to happen.

Ongoing personal recovery through the help of friends, family, and DC United Soccer!
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,510
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,510
Dam, I hope posts aren't admissible! lol....

Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,965
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,965
Originally Posted by Jean36
If I need documentation to show that a situation existed (such as that ExWH and I were living together as husband and wife, before the affair and divorce)

Testimony from neighbors and family members? Signed affidavits?

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
Posts ARE admissible as long as they can be authenticated. The TRUTH of the posts is another matter. As a paralegal I busted this lady one time with her posts. She had been claiming a neurological injury as a result of a car accident. We represented the insurance company.

I went on a hunt on the internet and found some posts to a neurologist by a screen name that sounded pretty close to our plaintiff. I asked her in interrogatories to list any email addresses she had used in the last five years. Sure enough, one of the email addresses was the one in the post I found. Then at her deposition we questioned her about the post and she admitted she had made them.

Her problem though, was that she posted the very same symptoms and complaints THREE YEARS PRIOR to her accident, that she was now trying to claim were caused by the accident. This was a bump in the parking lot type of accident.

So, that's a case where an author's posts were admissible after they were authenticated.

In your case though, trying to prove a FACT by posts that you made back then wouldn't help you much because the whole point is that you're trying to prove the truth of the facts based on the statements you made back then. But then again, in a civil court, you're only required to prove a preponderence of the evidence, not 100%.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 707
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 707
I'd be very careful about posts and what not.

My sister's e-mails and texts to her SIL were discovered and brought up against SIL in divorce / custody battle. Slimy attorney used those to prove the SIL was not fit to have custody of the children. My sister feels horrible, but the SIL is partly to blame also.

Rule of thumb, be very careful what you write, what you post, what you text and even what you say over the phone. Heck, be careful what you say in person...never know when someone wearing a wire.

Speaking of wires...I should probably put voice recorder in WW's vehicle. Thanks for reminding me smile


D-Papers served May 8th, 2009
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
Originally Posted by DNU1
I'd be very careful about posts and what not.

My sister's e-mails and texts to her SIL were discovered and brought up against SIL in divorce / custody battle. Slimy attorney used those to prove the SIL was not fit to have custody of the children. My sister feels horrible, but the SIL is partly to blame also.

Rule of thumb, be very careful what you write, what you post, what you text and even what you say over the phone. Heck, be careful what you say in person...never know when someone wearing a wire.

Speaking of wires...I should probably put voice recorder in WW's vehicle. Thanks for reminding me smile

"Emails" and "texts" are WAY easier to prove than "posts" on an anonymous message board like MB. The trick is to not give TMI where people would be able to identify you, if you don't want to be known.

Personally, I don't care WHO reads my stuff or knows it me, but I can see how it could effect a ongoing litigation. I think we have a couple of posters who HAVE had their posts used against them.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 163 guests, and 59 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
cbm800, Dodo M, Kingpin, MikaylaVaux, I.P.
71,728 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,546
Posts2,322,791
Members71,729
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5