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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 7 |
I couldn't find anything stating what the efficient length of time someone should give PB before deciding to file for D.
What is the length of time some of you had PB in effect before giving up or it turned around?
I'm thinking it s/b long enough for me because I moved out on 10/7, which has been over a yr. I would really think that if WH wanted his M, he should have said so by now. However, due to my talking and listening to him along w/giving advice, I'm sure I was mtg some of his EN. Therefore, due to this, I'm wondering if 6 mos a long enough for him to come to his senses and decide to give up OW & work on M. Opinions, Please. Thanks.
Me (BW) 46
H (WH) 50
M 23 yrs
D 22, S 17, D 14
MS Separated
OW 33, OC 5, OC 9 mos
Put WH on Couch 2/07
BW moved out w/C 10/07 WH wouldn't go
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Member
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Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860 |
"I'm thinking it s/b long enough for me because I moved out on 10/7, which has been over a yr"
Moving out is not doing a plan B.
NC is plan B.
"due to my talking and listening to him along w/giving advice"
Talking along with texting, Im'ing, mail, email, phone are all contact.
Being that you have had contact all this time. You have not done a plan B. All you have done is waste time.
As to how long one should do a plan B. As long as you want to stay married. There are legal financial, health care, retirement, and moral issues.
Then what happens if a BS no longer wants to wait because they decided they have some one to replace the WS?
It comes down to what the BS wants to do. Plan B does not guarantee the WS will comeback. It only improves the odds for recovery.
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 7 |
Thanks for your opinion. It helps. I don't have anyone who really understands to talk to so I am glad I have this post to help me.
I wish I had knew about this site when I got fed up and moved out. I'm sure I would have put PA & PB in place and made my decision by now. After reading some of the material and not having NC, I was wondering would that be enough time if I am willing to see if WH wants to reconcile.
I'm working on some things for myself and I may even decide to let it go. Because sometimes I feel like enough time has already been wasted w/him.
Me (BW) 46
H (WH) 50
M 23 yrs
D 22, S 17, D 14
MS Separated
OW 33, OC 5, OC 9 mos
Put WH on Couch 2/07
BW moved out w/C 10/07 WH wouldn't go
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