<BR>Just wanted to let you all know how things went yesterday...our Anniversary. There were no plans whatsoever to celebrate...not with the way things were. But being the all-to-nice guy I am( ) I thought it would be nice to have our son get us a card and maybe his mother a gift. He also asked me if I could cook a special dinner that "mommy" would like. So the 2 of us went shopping, he picked out a card and a gift. I also got a card for W. Nothing mushy, just saying enough....that I do still care for her type thing. We stopped at the store and picked up the food our son wanted me to cook...(crab legs). When we got home and we were wrapping her gift, I came across some old photo albums and got an idea. I decided I'd make an album of special photos showing our times together as a couple and then as a family. From our dating times to present. I spent a good 4-5 hours digging up the right photos and typed up a "verse" to describe each. <P>She came home to dinner on the table, card and gift from our son on her plate, card, rose and gift from me. She also gave me a card that pretty much said that it's hard to be happy after all she's done to me.<P>After she thanked our son for his card and gift, she read my card and the tears flowed. It was a good 15 minutes before she was able to even open the gift. She took the album and started reading......she went from crying to laughing in a flash numerous times as she flipped the pages.<P>She cried on and off throughout the night till we went to bed. Soon after we started talking before we fell asleep she started balling. She finally admitted that when we seperate she's afraid that when she wants to hold me I'm not going to be there. What in the world do you say about that? I just held her tight and kissed her forehead. We fell asleep in the "spoons" position. I woke about a hour later as she was doing her best to "wake" me gently and make love to me in that position....which we did. (I just couldn't hold back at that point... )<P>This morning she was all "spunky" grabbing my butt and such. I sure hope I didn't send the wrong message?

Blues -- Sounds like you had a very good anniversary. I will add my wish for a happy anniversary as well.<P>God Bless

It's the rollercoaster, Blues. I see alot me in her actions.<P>She's feeling guilty .... unworthy of your love, but longs to feel "normal" with you again (hence the butt grabbing).<P>But it sounds like she's on her way "back" to you. Best wishes!

Blues,<P>I read your profile and unfortunately I don't have time right now to go over all your posts. Can you give me and us a brief scnapses of what is going on? Do you still love her and want to make this work? Your profile doens't even give a registration date so sorry if I seem so confussed. (I am! ) <P>The anniversary sounds wonderful. I am happy you had such a good day and evening. <P><P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>

Blues,<P> I have to say that it seems that NEITHER of you really want to move on. But I would suggest some major discussions go on before this goes any further than it already has. You both need to be aware of where this relationship is actually going. And what about the child? All things need to be considered. If she wants this relationship to work then it shouldn't be very hard for her to make a commitment to some counselling as well, maybe it's time YOU "drew the line in the sand", Either way, you both have some issues that need to be worked out. God Bless! <P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P><BR>

Blues,<BR>I may be way off base, I don't post very often anymore, infact I am concidering moving on totally, I'm trying to wean myself from the forum, but, I just had to drop in on you.<BR> My H had an affair for 3 years, we have been in recovery for 19mo., I know every story is different, but bottom line..... It sounds very promising for you, and you must think and be positive from this point on, this is your chance, a window to it working, think in the present, think ...NOW! <BR>Don't go backwards, don't beat a dead horse. Wine, dine, and start a new. Communicate your feelings, what you need, what she needs, what you can change, what she can change, how you both feel about each other. LISTEN! Create new feelings, new ways of making each other happy. Let your Son, and outside activities into your life, work on your relationship and don't dwell on the past. Let her forget, YOU MOVE ON too. Don't compare what has happened or how it made you feel with now. Make new memeories with each other.<BR> Counselling really helps and shows a commitment to wanting to do EVERYTHING that will help your marriage. You will love each other more just because of the effort you are both showing each other. It can work!<BR> My H and I are focusing on US, I have forgiven him for the hurt he caused me, he says he loves me so much more and can't imagin us not being together for ever because of how much I have given to him through compassion, understanding, and happiness. <BR>Just had to put my 2 cents in.<BR>Almost Happy <P>--------<BR>TIME

Blues,<BR>How wonderful! I agree with Almost ..... Start from this moment and move FORWARD! <P>B<P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

Sam, I'm not sure what more I can tell you that's not covered in my profile. It's been a long and painful ordeal for me. W brought me to the point of thinking we were gonna get through all this only to find out she was still sleeping with OM. Not just once but numerous times. She's done nothing to help the situation at all. She also tends to think if enough time goes by with nothing being addressed, it'll all pass over. She just assumes that she can do anything at all and I'll keep giving her another chance. I did just that but now I need to quit and move on in life. She's not the type of person I want to stay with anymore. How can I? She can't be trusted, I have no respect for her and her ways. We don't agree on a lot of matters, the list goes on.<P>Chick's, I agree, we DO need to talk. I was planning on it for this w/e but things got put off for one reason or another. I'm going to try again tonight. I sure don't want her thinking that by sleeping with me makes everything better. Sex just doesn't work that way. She knows she needs to leave, she just doesn't want to and feels if she can prolong it, she'll be able to change my mind. We need to be apart, plan B as you will. But I'm not going to hold my breath for her to come back. I did plan B for a good year and it didn't change a thing. She refuses to seek help, she's been talking to her pastor but he feels she needs to find God before she can address our issues. She currently spends more of her free time with the church than her family. I agree, she needs to be reminded as to where I am planning on going. This child is HER responcebility, not mine. As harsh as that is, that the way I have to be. Consider what she did to our family and OM's family. They are both adults, both knew what they were doing, told numerous times what would result if I caught them together again.....they didn't heed the warnings. How many chances am I suppose to give them? Keep doing it until they ruin my life more? To the point I can't bounce back? I don't think so! It's time I take charge and if she can't understand that or accept that, that's her problem. <P>I guess what I'm trying to say that as ready as I am to move on, she still has the ability to change that course of action, but she needs to move real quick and make it count. Actions speak loader than words and I've seen no action as yet. Whether she wants to talk about it or not tonight, the subject at hand will be brought up. I do want her to know where we are heading. <P>I will keep you all posted.

Blues - Looks like you're moving in the right direction. Keep it up. This could be a wonderful fresh start.<P>Lori