The reason I see overeating as beating yourself up is because it is SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. If you THINK about it, how can you PROTECT yourself by overeating? Doesn't it HURT YOURSELF? You know how I believe in MIND CONTROL. So I encourage you to THINK about it. THINK before you eat. THINK about the RESULT.


This sentence makes no sense to me. You overeat because you are IN PAIN. So it soothes the pain? How does it PROTECT you? Sabotage yourself? How is that not SELF-DESTRUCTIVE?


We really have a different point of view about this, I know...but I will go ahead and share with you. I don't see it as a problem to beat yourself up over this if it motivates you to change. Change comes from emotional suffering. The suffering I endured when discovering my H was having an affair led to my decision TO CHANGE. I'm THANKFUL for beating myself up over the person that I was...I think that's what you are trying to escape..EMOTIONAL PAIN...It is DESTRUCTIVE for us to ABUSE our bodies. That results in diabetes, heart disease and joint problems...I personally beat myself up when I overeat and that motivates me to stop. I don't want to FEEL BAD about it.


EXACTLY..as you say...

It's NOT about how your Dad felt about your weight, how your H felt about your weight or any of us. It's about YOU working on being HEALTHY regardless of the reason.

JUST DO IT. If you find a weight program, with healthy eating and exercise, that you like and you stick to it, you will definitely lose weight. That's a scientific fact.

I'm thinking this sounds harsh. I'm sorry...but I'm an ADULT CHILD, Queenie...I've heard it all...all the talk..a zillion times...and I would say..JUST STOP DRINKING...STOP GOING TO THE LIQUOR STORE OR IT WILL KILL YOU..and it did...my D died at age 60..much too young....

Hi Raquel, I'm so touched and honored you would post to me, THANK YOU... It's nice to meet you by the way. I read what you wrote and my heart feels your pain. I'm so glad to have one more person understand the fight it can be. If ever I can support you, please please let me know.

I would have made it without this place Kick. I'm not sure I am helpful at all, but I certainly am grateful....

Hi Chai, thanks for stopping by. Dang but your world is active these days.

Hi Mimi,

Ok.... you are and I so different. You are strong. I'm not, I really have NEVER been and I haven't found that piece in life. MIND CONTROL....

I went to a food meeting last night. I listened to a woman who is about my size, only covered in different ways. She talked about waking up in the morning and planning to have a good food day, feeling strong, etc and on the way to work, just stopping at a fast food place, getting food, eating on her way to work.

She was full, very full and then about an hour later, she visited the vending machine for more food, and then again one more time before lunch. Because she was sneaking food no one knew that she had already eaten. And so when lunch time came of course she couldn’t not go out and eat lunch, no one had seen her eat.

So she went out and ate a normal lunch with people. An hour or so later, so wasn’t hungry, my goodness she had been eaten all day long, but there she was in front of the vending machine buying more food. And low and behold on her way home she stopped at the same name fast food place and bought more food.

Grossed out yet… Wait…

There was one woman, as skinny as possible, beautiful beyond measure, everything going for her, happy marriage, young child, gorgeous, amazing body. She is into the food again, sneaking food behind peoples backs. Can you imagine putting the extra food into the garbage, but arranging it just so, so that when no one is looking you go and dig it out and eat it up so no one knows you did? I can….

Can you imagine baking cookies, taking some and rearranging the plate so that no one knows you ate more cookies. I can..

I’m not saying that I can’t get healthy, get my food in a safe place, I’m just telling you that knowing what I am doing, trying to stop, etc is NOT IN MY HANDS. IT’S G-DS WILL ON THIS ONE.

I am praying for surrender, I’m praying for what G-d needs from me. I’m not giving up. In fact, my food has actually been pretty good the last few days. I’m not obsessing about it every second of every day, I’m more satisfied than I have been.

Imagine telling an alcoholic to go drink ONE DRINK three times a day, but don’t have anything else, control your drinking… Your mind can do this.

I have to use my drug substance three times a day for the rest of my life, but maintain control over it…

I am an ADDICT, I will destroy myself, sabotage myself if I am allowed to beat myself up as a way to get better.

Look at what I do over WH. I'm still thinking I screwed up my M and if I had only done this or that, he wouldn't have left. Like my WH, I have NO CONTROL....

There is a part in the big book that talks about spiritual transformation. This is about seeing myself as a child of G-d and loving myself enough to let G-d have me or have his will in my life or whatever. I don't even know..

I love you dearly, I am fiercely devoted to you for how you saved my life and continue to be a part of it, but babe... I think we disagree on this....healthily.... of course.

I would LOVE to just be able to STOP
EATING and never think about food again. NEVER go to a grocery store again, never have to make a decision on what kind of food to eat.

I would LOVE THIS.....

Queenie, based on a friend's eating issues and our discussions about them, I have a question. Seems it is a common issue among many food addicts.

Were you sexually abused as a child?

For years, I have delved into the search of something happening to me as a child. I just can't remember nor have I uncovered anything in my many attempts at therapy.

I do know that inappropriate things were done to me with respect to school kids, but whether that is considerate abuse I don't know.

What EXACTLY do we DISAGREE on?

BTW, I think YOU can BE STRONG if you STOP telling yourself that you are NOT!

That's how I CHANGED from a WEAK person to a STRONG PERSON.

I was not ALWAYS strong.

Ok, silly me actually never thought about it like that.

That this is a mind control issue.

So are you saying that YOU do not have to DO anything? Sit around and WAIT on GOD? That's not the way AA works is it? Don't you have to work a PLAN?

The medical community has a definite TREATMENT PLAN to assist with FOOD ADDICTION, Queenie. What does your physician recommend?


You know that I know about ADDICTION TREATMENT, Queenie. What I'm talking about is the NEED to LEARN TO FEEL..that addiction is about NUMBING your FEELINGS...Allowing your yourself to experience your negative feelings IS definitely part of ADDICTIONS' TREATMENT...the need to STOP outrunning the FEELINGS...

I don't think THE ADDICTION is a MIND CONTROL issue..but the LOW SELF-CONCEPT, THINKING that YOU can't change and stuff, IS...

Treatment of FOOD ADDICTION takes a MULTIDISCIPLINARY EFFORT...with consultation with a nutritionist, physician, psychologist, spiritual healer, etc., etc....

Did you ever check out that TV SHOW about RUBY?

Oh NO, I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying that I still work the program and still put in the effort everyday and NOT GIVE UP, but that if I'm not seeing the results I need to just keep moving along and TRUST G-d.

I'll agree, but HOW? How do I learn to feel? I cry, I feel the pain, I feel happiness, what am I not feeling or what can I do to stop the insanity of that.

Yes I did and I even check out her website. It just happened one day for her. Like when it happend for me and all of a suddent food was nothing. I was too involved in the pain to even think about food.

I'll go with low self-concept. I don't think that I can't change. What I know is that even when I try for LONG periods of time there are results that happen. And then there are periods of time where my food is absolutely clean, I'm exercising, etc and NOTHING HAPPENS....

I don't have this as a choice. I can do the meetings, I can work on keeping my food clean, but the only oether thing I can afford is meetings.

What do you mean by keeping your FOOD CLEAN?

OK, have you ever dealt with whatever this might have been. Could your inner child need to be healed so that your outer adult can be healed?

Meaning that right now, the most important and healthy thing I can do is get off of obvious sugars. It seems that once I get sugar out of my diet, food isn't as insane. I don't think about food all the time. I don't struggle with it all day long. etc.

Sugar seems to be the key in all this.

My inner child could use a LOT OF HEALING, I just don't know where to start or even if it really matters at this point in my life.

So many people had it a lot worse than me.

So, Queenie, if your broken leg needs treatment would you refuse it in the here and now just because someone somewhere else might have a worse fracture?

From what my friend said, lots of food addicts have abuse issues in their past. And, if you don't heal the past, you can't heal the present. Kind of like an infected injury won't heal on the outside until you eliminate the infection.

According to what theory?

I don't agree with this. Her doctor told her that if she kept at it, she would die..that she was killing herself.

Sugar seems to be a trigger for alcoholics. They seem, from what I've heard, to be more successful at giving up alcohol when they give up sugar....sugar is a primary ingredient in alcohol.