My wife told me about her affair two and a half months ago. it was very hard for me as you know. we are both Christians and couldn't imagine my wife doing this. i would have my moments but we were in counseling and things were getting better, i thought. two days ago i found out she was trying to get in touch with him. she said she needed some time to think and moved in with her parents. today, her lover called me and told me she had been sending him messages and letters and that she had just called and told him that she had left me so they could be together. she has told me, swore to me that she has had no contact with this man since the day i found out, she also told me that they had had sex only once, that was also a lie. about thirty minutes after i got off the phone with him, she called and wanted to talk to me. i dropped the kids off at church and she met me at the house. she said she needed my forgiveness, she was sorry and she loved me. she had no idea i had talked to him.

they teach together at a high school about thirty minutes from our house, i confronted him on the day of revelation and he knew it would cost both of them their jobs if this continued. he told me she needed to leave him alone on the phone today and that she had been harassing him.

anyway after she asked forgiveness, i asked her if she had been honest and she said yes that she had had no contact with him. i told her i knew, that he had told me. she went from crying to stone faced and cold. i questioned her and she admitted to having an affair with another man she worked with last year. but she said it was strictly sexual. i don't know where to go from here. we have a seven year old and twin four year olds. What do i need to do? the affair that she had this year was as much emotional as it was sexual, and from all my reading on the subject, i can almost understand, i guess. but just a sexual affair with this other man, that is what i am having trouble dealing with right know.

please help, suggestions, anything

Most will tell you that recovery from a serial (multiple) cheating wayward wife (WW) is not worth the effort ... and I am of that belief.

However, that is completely YOUR CALL.

Just answer this for your own clarity ... do you want to reconcile with your WW, knowing now what you know ... and if so, WHY???

Considering that both men she had an affair wife are men she worked at the school with....the first thing is to out them at the school and have her move to another school. She probably only told you about the first affair because this OM knew about it and figured he told you about it. She only wants to recover now because the current OM told her to leave him alone. Does this guy have a wife? Who was the first OM?

1. Expose the A to the school's principal and management

2. Get DNA tests for your kids. If your is a serial cheater, then it's possible that those two As weren't her only ones

3. You've got the kids? If so, don't let her back into the house unless you are REALLY sure that you want to recover your M, and she REALLY shows that she's being honest and remorseful about her activities.

just recieved this email from my wife


I am praying every night that I can make the changes that need to take
place in my life to help me but that will also help our family. I also
pray that you can one day forgive me for everything I have done and said.
I have to go now, but please don't give up on me. I want our family back
together

You need to expose the WW's parents and siblings, and the OMW.

You need to expose at work. Both affairs. Send copies of the letter to the principal, superintendent, human resources and board members.

Your WW can not work with these OM. She must have NC. Most likely the word has been spread that WW is up for fun and games. There are probably other men wating for the opportunity to be her next OM because of her reputation.

That email sounds good, but don’t believe a word of it. She is just buying time. Personally, I would probably throw her out and head straight to Plan D, your chances of recovery with a serial cheater are slim to none.

If you do want to try to recover your marriage, you must expose her affairs to anyone who could possibly help you. Start with their principal and include family, friends, and your Pastor.Also expose to OMW and the school board. This will make her very angry, but the only chance you have at recovering your marriage is to end her affair. Most BS’s hesitate to expose because they fear their WS’s anger. Her anger is not your enemy, her affair is. Please expose and do it immediately. Do not warn her, just expose. I exposed immediately in my case and it cost both of the them their jobs. But, it was a small price to pay, because it blew their affair up immediately.

Also, as you were told earlier, please have a DNA test done on your children. It’s very likely that these 2 are not the only affairs that she’s had. Also have STD tests done on you and your WW immediately. Do NOT engage in SF with her until you are both thoroughly tested. Waywards are never logical and almost never use protection.

Please read about Plan A and Plan B on this website and please understand that Plan A does not include you being a doormat. IT includes both meeting her EN’s, as she will allow you, and exposure to break up the affair. The choice is yours, but please don’t believe a single word she says. Waywards lie and they lie about everything. Believe only what you can verify.

I’m sorry you’re here, and please know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers.

where do i find plan A and B

JJK1,

sorry you are here but welcolm to MB.

Here's a link to your question. Pay particular attention about no contact. This can't happen while your WW continues to work at school with her(ex?) lovers.

Plan A and B

Good Luck,

All Blessings,
Jerry

Yep.

I feel very sorry for you. Your wife is a serial cheater who has been putting your health at risk for STD's. She admitted to a previous affair last year that was purely sexual. You will need to get tested for STD's and so should she.

I agree that the school should be told. She is buying time. She cheats and continues to lie to you wishing to continue the relationship with the OM. I would strongly consider talking to a lawyer to understand your options. She is playing with you trying to use you as a fallback plan if her lover continues to reject her. You judge a person by their actions and not by their words. Her actions speaks volumes about her selfishness and total disrespect for you and your marriage. If you do not respect yourself then who will? I wish you luck.

This is going to be very difficult for both of you. She is a serial cheater who has no problem with lying to your face if she can continue sleeping with other men. You need to have a voice activated recorder installed in her car. A tap on you phone or a VAR where she speaks most frequently. You need a key logger on your computer. Then, and this will be rough. You need to schedule a polygraph test. This will cost about 500 to 700 dollars. You will develope the questions with the technician so she will not be able to avoid the truth. I am sorry to say this too. But you also need to have your children DNA tested. It is a simple swab, and no one needs to know but you. Then I would also buy a bunch of semen test kits. They work. Test her underwear if she has any unexplained absences from home or work. She does not need to know about this. You basically have to cover all your bases. Stay strong.

Being that there have been multiple OM you must do DNA test for paternity.

Who have you exposed?

Do not believe anything WW says. I find it very disturbing that she would selfishly ask you for forgiveness all the while lying to your face and crying about how sorry she is. Do not let her tears soften you up. I think a lot of WSs, especially women, believe if they cry enough that the BS will cave and take them back. Your wife's actions have shown that she is a manipulator.

There's no guarantee your M can be saved. That's really up to your tolerance level. Since your WW is already out of the house I would not let her back in until she shows ACTIONS of remorse and humbling. I wouldn't bother with Plan A at this point. WW needs to feel the consequences of her behavior. Expose her A. What has she told her parents? Do you have a good relationship with them? They along with OMW should be the first you expose to. Do not assume that OM has told his BW just because he says so. Go to the source for confirmation. Expose to work.

Sorry you are here jjk1. Prayers to you.

Absolutely expose the affair. To everyone. Let it even get out at church. Your wife is a sex addict, if she is having an affair for sex only. Women will have affairs for the emotional high they get of being in love. But your wife has admitted she has had them for sex too. You need to polygraph her. You must find out the extent of her infidelities so you can make an educated decision as to whether you take her back or not.