Thank you so very much PM. I really understand her. I know that absolute desperation and what I KNOW is that she CAN survive.

What a gift from G-d to let me be able to help someone that I completely understand, and KNOW deep INTO MY SOUL... can get through this, because I AM.... I truly am....

Queenie, I started posting to you because I understood your pain. Funny how that happens.

My x initially filed for the divorce and I contested it so nicely that he had his petition dismissed. When I could no longer stand or cope with the insanity in my life, I turned around and filed for a divorce. When it was granted, my life became more sane.

Is it possible that moving to a place of more sanity, surety, and security might help you with your addiction issues?

ABSOLUTELY....

And that's why I seem to be resolved and calm about it.

I don't want it, but maybe it's best in the long run.

Isn't it amazing how G-d has placed BROWNEYES onto my life, so walk through this with her, because I understand her PAIN.

In case I haven't thanked you, Cinderella, thank you for being in my life and caring enough to help me get through this. I love you....

Hi QUEENIE,



QUEENIE...taking care of....QUEENIE!

Who would have THUNK......

Listen up, you babe-alicious goddess, THAT is why our Father put us here. We are all his beloved children. We chose us all to be on his team - we just have to decide when to dress out.

You are beautiful. He made you beautiful. And, you are a good, kind, loving woman.

Look in your mirror and see the art you are!

And, I love you, too!

Shabbat Shalom, Queenie.

Mark

Queenie:
I think often of you, and Tully, and Bestfriend and others who have galantly stood up for their principles.

We are not alone. We are martyrs -- willing to make great sacrifices for our M and family.

Thanks for helping others. You are appreciated!!

Queenie,

You are stronger every day girl. Got your message and will call you this weekend (hopefully).

Well let's see how strong I really am....

My A's response to me on Friday afternoon..I met with the judge this afternoon. It is my understanding that your husband is willing to get this case over with, and is willing to meet with you and I to try to knock out a final resolution before trial. The judge set the trial date for March 6th, but expects us to try to get it settle before that date. He is WILLING to meet with ME? Is his CRAZY? I'm in Plan B, I'm NOT meeting with HIM...
Your husband wants the statements for trusts for you and the two younger children. He is entitled to this information. I got the impression he spoke with someone in your family, and maybe thinks he is entitled to a share. I am certain that any trust funds would be your separate property, but he is entitled to copies of the statements.

The existence of these funds may effect any future claim for spousal maintenance and post-secondary support. Obviously, if a court sees that you have significant funds at your disposal, the court may take that into consideration when making a determination on the above issues.

So I checked in with the executor of my estate and this was his reponse... Your trust provides that you get current income from the trust on a quarterly basis but that is not a large sum of money since your trust principal is nominal. You got one principal payment one year after U's death and will get another one on the fifth anniversary after his death. Afterwards, principal payments will be made on five year periods until exhausted. Neither WH nor his attorney contacted me.

:twobyfour: why should I even fantasize that WH is any DIFFERENT than anyone elses and would have a heart or care that his children need to be taken care of. He wants to use a trust that is for his children, so that he can take care of OW. :twobyfour:

Suggestions?

Queenie,

You ARE strong! Just look at your post. Instead of curling up in a ball and throwing up your hands in defeat, you are standing up like the Goddess you are! I'm glad to see the defiant, angry Goddess!!


If I'm reading correctly, there is NO a significant amount of funds here, so it is a non-issue when it comes to WH's support, right?

I would hate to think that any WS would try to use their kids trusts to support their A-partner, but I am sure that there are some who would do it. Is your WH one of them? I don't know. Perhaps it is that he is wanting to use those funds as a way to get out of paying a proper amount of support??

Either way, you have the Strength and the Power to fight this!

As far as sitting down for a mediation, you need to consider that this might be something you have to do. Now, that being said, it does NOT necessarily mean that you have to sit down across the table from him face to face. Be sure you speak with your attorney about this so that he/she understands that you are not going to do that. You can have the attorneys draw up the necessary paperwork to the point of a 'needed' negotiation.

Then, the negotiation can be both of you in the same building,,,just not in the same room. The attorneys are the only ones that really need to speak to each other. Make them do their jobs. This is how it played out with Drac. We went to court and the attorneys ended up negotiating in the hallway outside the courtroom. I did 'see' Drac from a distance, but did not have to speak to him and neither of us even walked into the courtroom.

Your attorney can make this workable for you.

Hang in there Queenie!

ITA with Bugs....

(((((Queenie))))))

I think it is time to change your thread title again, only it should read "Queenie DOES love herself".....

Honey, you have arrived, I for one am so very very proud of you. In fact, it is time you start charging for your lessons you have learned......


Bugs is right....Instead of curling up in a ball you ARE standing up....and just think where something like this would have put you just a few short months ago?????

The change, I have had the priveledge of watching, in you is most astonishing.....GOSH I just love it....

And yes, this appauling action of the WH is rehensible, repulsive and most definately not the man you fell in love with.....you do deserve so much better.....you will get your just rewards one day.....

I don't have much advice, but I can say that even if the FORCED you to do mediation face to face with WH, which I doubt they will BUT, you would totally rock that courthouse.....
and I would LOVE to see the looks on WH's and crack ho's face if they did have to see what they are messing with....

much love out to ya honey.....not2fun

ps....I kinda rambled....must be the side-effects of the meds...

If you go to mediation, see if you can do the different rooms things and let the attorney handle the 'shuttle diplomacy'. If, on the other hand, you do end up in the same room, address your comments to the attorney and remember that the other body in the room is not really the man with whom you fell in love. It's some stranger in his body.

Oh Queenie honey, I would fight this tooth and nail! It is my understanding (and don't quote me on this) but a trust account like this should not affect his OBLIGATION to pay child support. Now, it might affect the spousal support in some way, because the whole purpose of spousal support (as opposed to alimony) is to allow you to remain living in the lifestyle to which you have become accustomed (supposedly) while you search for or train for employment to support yourself.

I don't understand though, has a divorce been filed? I was under the impression that you only filed a LSA. Does that convert into a divorce after so much time or something? A trial date?

Does WH have his own attorney? Y'all aren't sharing the same attorney are you? That would be a disaster! He can't ethically look out for your best interest if he's supposed to look out for WH's best interest too. That usually only works out when everything is AGREED and both parties just want out... no assets, no kids, nothing. Please say it ain't so.

If meeting face-to-face with WH is too hard, do what others have suggested, ask for different rooms and have the attorneys go back and forth. I'm hoping you both have your own attorney and not just one guy trying to settle this for both of you.

I have GREAT faith that you will sail through this with flying colors. You've come so far "for such a time as this." Rise up! Be strong in the Lord! You are His beloved!

Queenie

I say fry the b@stard.

Chai

Wow, Chai. :MrEEk:

What do you really feel?

Let me check recipes.com to see if they have any recipes for fried b@stard. I do know Lynne Rossetto Kasper talked about deep and pan frying on The Splendid Table on NPR last weekend. If you can find the call-in portion of the show on the podcast, you might get some ideas for things to do to help the batter coating to stick better.

Cinder, it sounds like the OW is slimy enough to use as a batter.

According to Lynne, you want the meat dryish and warmish when you bread it and you want the breading to have a few minutes to adhere before you put it in the grease/oil at a little below 350. You know, if you don't fry it right, it doesn't turn out as well.

I vote for grilling instead - over a wood flame.