H is having this erection problem which is puzzling. He never had this problem before and always finished. This happened last Monday morning and yesterday, again. Last week I became so upset about it that had to leave work and go home and cry and then we had a major fight. I can't help but tie in the day off, Monday, with this problem and with my suspicions that on this day he meets with OW for sex and cmpanionship. I have to assume that he is having a problem concentrating on us because he has plans with her later. And, don't you think he would have problems performing with me at night if he has been with her all afternoon. How often do you think a 49 y.o. man can make love in one day, without any problems ? He says that I make him tense and I break his concentration, he feels he is pressured to perform and sometimes the mind is there and the body isn't...blames it on me...I say...if she wasn't on his mind he would not have any problems with me, but she is in the picture, even if he denies. I felt safe yesterday (Monday) and thought that he would not have had any time to meet her because he was busy<BR>but, she only lives 10 minutes away, and quickies don't take long......I reminded him that he and I used to have quickies all the time, before we were married......he thinks I <BR>go overboard.....but I don't think so.....Are any other husbands having erectile problems ? <BR>Am I on the right track ? Thank you all.

Sad,<BR>The book AFTER THE AFFAIR by Springs has a good chapter on sex & what may or may not be going on in both your minds.

My H had the same problem after his first trip out with OW. He told me that was some problem caused by his hypertension medicine, and I accepted. <P>However, after the discloser last year, he admited that he had no problem with OW, but with me. For him, it's not easy to keep the erection while with me, since he no longer had the same amount of passion as when we were first married. <P>Now our sex life has been non-exist for almost 2 yrs.

Before discovery, I was having those intuitive feelings that something was wrong. My H and I were having sex less and less. When I got those feelings that there may be another woman, my hormones (or something) kicked in and I initiated sex at least once a day for 3 1/2 weeks (sometimes 3 times a day). Of course I didn't know he had OW. I wore his butt out. And after discovery, I found out they were never together during that period of time. They did have cyber talk, but nothing physical during those weeks and I think it's because he couldn't handle it physically. Now they were physical before and after those weeks, but not while I was going strong. Unfortunately, my paranoia subsided as well as my hormones and it was a month later til I was blindsided with discovery.