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#2195451 01/18/09 06:06 PM
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The OW makes my daughter's life a living hell. She controls every move my EXH makes including things between my EXH and our daughter. Is there anything I can do legally to keep OW away from our daughter therefore stop the crushing of our daughter's spirit?


Me, 43
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More details please.

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I don't know Alluring. I assume you are talking about the younger daughter? We'd need more details to come up with any suggestions but I would love to know if there are any legal actions that could be taken. The OWH in my sitch has been going through h3!! trying to see his DD7 (think she might be 8 now). OW and WstbxH upped and moved without telling anyone last year to another city. Then she wouldn't allow OWH to see DD except at times she knew he couldn't make it there because of his work. He took her to court but since they had already moved, it was too late to stop her and the judge said OWH is to get ample visitation, but so far it's been very little. His lawyer is a weenie and seems to be spinning his wheels on the issue. He's been very frustrated. Meanwhile, WstbxH is playing dad and is the disciplinarian at the house. I can only imagine how [censored] up this poor little girl is.

I really don't understand how waywards can do this to their children. I really don't.

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I spoke with my attorney today and his suggestion is to save all the notes and letters my daughter writes regarding her dislike for the OW, which I have been. He also said to call my EXH and tell him that our daughter won't be visiting him anymore unless he can come up with another place to take our daughter for visits...ie his parents. If he isn't willing to do that then he can take me back to court for contempt and then we'll be able to show the judge the notes and letters and our daughter could then get the chance to talk one on one to the judge and therefore possible put another vistation order into place. I'm a little worried about having contempt charges put on me. I'm not sure what that will entail and my daughter is extremely worried about it. I will do anything for her though!!

As far as what the OW is doing....If she doesn't agree with what my EXH is saying to our daughter on the phone she will almost scream into the phone her opinion. She has told our daughter that she can't go home unless she does or says XYZ or that she can't call me unless she does or says XYZ and my EXH is a WIMP, always has been and won't do a damn thing about it! The OW is a MAJOR control freak!!

Any suggestions or experience with contempt charges??


Me, 43
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 Quote:
tell him that our daughter won't be visiting him anymore unless he can come up with another place to take our daughter for visits


Who's the control freak?

Following through with this threat will surely place you in contempt. I don't think it's a good idea to go back to court on the judge's bad side. I also don't think it's very bright of your atty to guide you down that path.

What you could do is take your XH back to court and try to have the parenting schedule restructured. You could ask that a guardian ad litem be appointed to represent the best interest of your daughter.

I don't know how you are going to keep OW away from your child. If you can prove that she is in some way harmful to your child's well being, you might be able to secure a restraining order or supervised visitation.

Until then, I would suggest that you have a talk with XH and try to come to an agreement. Even if you can't come to an agreement, you can at least show the judge that you made an attempt before placing the issue in his/her lap.


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Perhaps have some counseling done to provide professional input on daughter's relationships and coping and anger and.... That way you would have more to present than your opinion and daughter's opinion of situation.

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Control freak??? My attorney said that...not me...but I do agree with him. I'm tired of them running my daughter's spirit down the toilet. And if it takes having contempt charges put against me to save my daughter??? You best believe I would do it in a heartbeat!!!

I did speak with the EXH again today and he said he doesn't want it to go as far as placing contempt on me. He said he's tired of always being torn between the OW and our daughter. I tried to make him see that it's been his life history. His mother and his first wife...His mother and me...and now the OW and our daughter. He of course couldn't see it! He's so DENSE!

So anyways. He's going to take some time to seriously reflect on the situation and we are going to talk again later in the week. He's to have our daughter this weekend but we'll see how it plays out.

We are also seeking counsel not only for our daughter alone but the EXH and our daughter to help repair their relationship.

Thanks for the advice!


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You are welcome. Counseling, in many cases, should not be viewed as an expense - but, rather, as an investment!


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