I will give the whole story as suggested in the other sections of this forum.
10 years ago my husband had an affair and ripped my life apart, we had been married for 15 years and I thought we would be together for life. He moved out said he didn't love me, ect...
4 days later he came back and said he needed his family and would I please take him back.
Stupid me I did and it was hard, he got fired because his affair was with a co worker, and she was mad he came home
It took about 3 months of really trying for both of us and then suddenly we had a marriage better than before. We were so close and we both swore it would last forever. He said he was so lucky and he bought me a new ring and wrote a poem about second chances and the new vows being stronger than the first.
Every thing was great until a year ago when I went through menopause and lost my job. I got my job back, but I was depressed and I guess I was so into me that I forgot about him for awhile.
He told me I needed to get over it and I did, wake up call I would do anything for him.
I went to counceling and started imediatly working on my self doubt issues and agin everything was good.
Yesterday I came home from work and the answering machine light was on so I hit play and it was a lady telling him she had an apartment for him.
I called him at work and asked about it and he said, yes he looked wasn't going to move out but sonce I know he might as well go.
He came home and got his stuff, I left so no scene, and he called and said he was sorry, he never should have stayed 10 years ago, hasn't loved me in longer than that, and was just trying to make it work for the kids.
He says he isn't happy, deserves to be and I will get over it.
Today I looked up his cell phone bill and saw he has been calling his high school irlfriend for hours every night after I go to bed.
Called him on it and he says they just talk, it has nothing to do with her, he just wants to be alone.
I can't eat and I can't sleep and he says I will be fine.
He also has called the house 10 times to make sure we are okay and has called my boys a few times each.
Tonight I fel asleep for the first time sice he left and he called to make sure I was okay.
I don't know what to do.
I love this stupid man

Hi BrownEyes-

I am soooo glad that you posted. I was worried about you. I have been in your shoes. Please take care of yourself. Try to eat. I got Bakers Breakfast Cookies and just nibbled on them. I lost 20 pounds in two weeks. I went to my doctor and got on anti-depressants to help with the anxiety of it all. I also stayed in counseling for myself. I had been going to deal with all the life changes we had just gone through. We had moved to a new town for XH's second career (youth ministry), my two oldest kids weren't living at home (one was in college and one stayed with friends for his senior year 36 miles away-home on week-ends), and my H was becoming distant. He lost that job when his EA was exposed to the head pastor. Two and a half months later he left.

Please believe what everyone has told you. He isn't your husband right now. He is in an affair and it has turned him into someone who feels entitled to his own "happiness" at whatever cost to his family. Even if it is just emotional (an EA) it is still an affair. It changes them. Wayward spouses (WS) are hurtful, uncaring, selfish, and untrustworthy. Five weeks after my XH left me I was diagnosed with breast cancer. "You'll be fine" is exactly what he said when I told him. (BTW-I am fine. March will be two years!!)

Read everything you can on this site. Keep checking in. This is a great place to come and ask questions, to vent, to cry. This place helped me realize I wasn't crazy and is probably why I didn't go crazy in the midst of it.

(((BrownEyes)))

bump