Another question begs... after A (or serious destrustion to relationship..)

Who is leading/innitiated the recovery process?

WS or BS. ahhh. another thread

Weird, Huh?

And from what I understand, WH chased OW too....Ughhhh!!!

The FOW was the chaser of my FWH too, he has never been a chaser only a chasee.

And I am definitely the one leading the recovery effort too.....

I'd say it was 50/50 when we were dating...then we broke up for a year and dated other people. At that point, FWH became the "chaser" and asked me to marry him almost immediately after getting back together. I wasn't interested but he persisted until I agreed...about 3 days later.


We've taken turns. It's been him for the past 1.5 years.

I think there is something to all this.

I chased my wife half way across the country before she caught me.

Oh, you are so darn cute, Mark.

In my case, we seemed to have taken turns doing the chasing.

Plan B has put a halt to my chasing in this phase though.

hi,
BS here, my WH did the chasing in the beginning.

I did a lot of the chasing - it was the few rare times that I backed off that WH chased me.

I sort of regret chasing him so hard now - I wonder if that would have made him cherish me more...

That's the story I have told people for almost 37 years, Still. My wife and I dated briefly when she was still in HS and I was living next door to where she was a waitress. She moved 750 miles away to live with her mother for her last year of school and I didn't hear a word from her for a year.

One day I ran into her twin sister and her husband at a friend's house and asked about her. About a month later I got a letter in the mail and had just quit my job that morning and was planning to travel to NY to visit a friend who had moved there about two months earlier.

In the letter she included her phone number and I called and talked to her for about 20 minutes. Then I packed up and set out (hitchhiking I might add) to visit Louie in NY. As I got closer to Pennsylvania, I began thinking about stopping to visit her "on the way" to see Louie. 17 hours after I talked to her I called her from a pay phone in her town and she came and picked me up. I intended to stay a night, asking her mother and step father to let me pitch my tent in the backyard and be on my way in the morning. Instead, we went to her church where they had a guest lecturer for the week and I heard every lecture he gave.

Never made it to NY and haven't been able to find Louie since.

I realized I was in love with her during that visit to her step father's house. We had just returned from the church and were walking around in his garden. She was walking along a low garden wall and when we got to the end of it, I put my hands on her waste and helped her down. We looked at each other and I thought, "Wow, I think I love this girl..."


6 weeks later, she moved back to her father's house in Illinois, we dated, married when her father was planning to remarry and move about 75 miles away (he and his new wife married one morning on the base at Fort Sheridan and then drove to our wedding that afternoon)and the rest, as they say is history. That was 1973...It will be 37 years in August since we got married. I had just turned 21 and she was not quite 18.

Our wedding was pretty small at the church where her family attended before her parents' divorce. The pastor who performed our wedding later founded the church where I have been an elder for about 15 years and we lived in a small apartment in the town where we have lived for the last 23+ years though we lived in several other places over the years.

I literally hitchhiked halfway across the country to fall in love with her...

Mark

No...My WH practically stalked me and then tossed me aside like a piece of trash for OW...All waynerds have just lost their minds.

I guess I would have to say it was WH, although he was really shy so I didn't really know. The first words WH ever said to me were, "I don't talk when I'm hungry." I used to say that was his best pick up line since he got me and then we got married too(I was his first girlfriend). I was "dating" someone when we met. We didn't see each other again for 8 months. We went to a Valentine's day dance, 6 days later he asked me "out." He told me he loved me 30 minutes later. He used to tell me that he didn't have to chase me anymore because he already had me. WELL :P

Interesting topic.

I would say initially XH was the chaser.
I met him the old fashioned way -- in a bar (pub) prior to all this online dating. I was on vacation in his country and he had recently moved to this city. We spotted each other across the room and he worked his way over. Ended up spending the next few days together. He chased and it was love (lust) at first sight.

When I came back home I called him initially and with no internet we had a steady stream of letters going across the pond. I returned there 2 months later (he got me ticket) and spend an additional week.

He flew out for Christmas and just never left. We were married that June almost to the day we met one year before.

He left his country (he wanted me to move there), his family and friends and we created a life here.

We worked hard to be together going through immigration to get married and all that goes with it, him taking up the role as a father to DD30, miscarriages, disappointments, birth of our beautiful DD16 -- all that and when it was a time that life should have been good to both of us after 21 years of M...he turned into a wayward.

Of course I am now the one who pursued him because the whole history of our M was rewritten in his mind.
He chased me and he is the one that wanted to get M.

Waywards are stupid.

New STATS:

CHASER:

WS = 13
BS = 6
50/50 = 4