Yes, and since I just made this post yesterday, I just became aware of the whole MB weekend so yes, he does need to be told that, again.

By again I mean, it was told to him with our counselor that I was ready to throw int he towel and end things if he was not willing to try, and that I was tired of trying alone, so he is aware of that.

I will bring it to his attention about the MB weekend and remind of the same thing. Thanks so much!

Shimmy,

I am / was the same as your H. I have very little drive for SF mainly due to depression. When I did want it, my W didn't so I let both her and myself down by just not bothering anymore. Yes, I love her, yes I find her attractive. I stopped caring about myself however and over a few years she has grown to find me physically unattractive.

She had been telling me for a long time that she was unhappy and that things were going wrong. I didn't hear her though, my head was in the sand.

At the end of the day, she felt worse and worse and in August last year she left.

That's what woke me up.

I am now in a position of trying to save my M but my W has given up. I wore her out.

At no point during all this did I EVER consider having an affair, but my W did have an EA. A symptom of my lack of care for her.

It may well be that your H is listening to you, but not HEARING you, just like I did.

I don't know what to suggest to make him take notice before you get to the stage that my W did. I still can't tell her what would have made a difference. It sounds odd, but I was 'somewhere else' for a long time. I just couldn't see what was going on.

Take the advice from the vets on here, but most of all make sure that your H is hearing you and not just paying you lip service.


Good Luck