Here is yet another story, and it is probally repeated many times in these forums, I apologize.

Here is the low-down. I have been married for 4 years now, 6 months ago my wife told me she had feelings for another guy at the office, which, all 3 of us work for the same company, so it is a very small circle. Since she has been talking with him she has changed tunes, and began standing up to me. To back up a little, the 1st 3 yrs she gave everything up in her life for me so I would think she is the "perfect" wife. In doing that, she has lost herself and became very co-dependant, now she says she wants to separate, and find herself due to being confused. She assures me nothing will happen b/t her and this other guy, although they have kissed. To add more confusion, she misses her friends and independence, and that's all fine and good, problem is he runs in her circle of friends. I don't wanna hold her back from doing things w/her friends, but I can't feel good about her hanging out with them knowing he will be there also. Guess the question is, going into this separation, how should I approach it, as in, I want things to work out b/t her and i, but also see the situation for what it is, and everything is in her hands as far as our future. Should I expect that she will mess around on me? I mean, why else would she want to separate? Just trying to feel things out, any feedback is appreciated.

Welcome Snooze. Sorry that you have joined this club. But you are in the right place.

Your WW is in an A. An EA for sure and probably a PA. She wants you out of her way so she can carry on with this guy. If you want this M you are going to have to fight for it. Do not move out.

Read this site inside and out. Learn about Plan A and plan a major exposure of this A. Head over to Gen Quest II. There is more traffic over there and you need a lot of info and support.

Are you up to this? Gather your strength because you are going to need every little bit that you can muster.

snooze,

Get your head around this concept ... YOUR WW IS HAVING A PHYSICAL AFFAIR (PA) WITH THIS OTHER MAN (OM).

WW's simply don't seperate from their Betrayed Husband's (BH) to "find herself" ... wives don't leave their husbands until they've already got a replacement lined up, and if she has ADMITTED to kissing, then you can bet the farm they've had sex, too.

It sucks ... but it is what it is ... that is the way they operate.

You may want to give us some additional marital facts, but it sounds like you are young, married a relatively short time, and have no kids ... if these assumptions are right ... common wisdom is that the WW isn't worth fighting for, because there simply hasn't been that much invested.

Cut your losses and move on!!!!

WW's when admit to kissing have done a lot more with the OM.

Tell WW that you will not move out and that being married she will still be liable for her share of the rent.

Next you have to expose this affair to WW's parents, siblings, HR at work, and this circle of friends.

Do not warn that you will expose, just do it.

Next is to get OM to leave the job or you and your WW have o leave. Your WW and you will not heal and end this affair if there is still contact. You must insist on NC.

Tell WW that you will not accept her affair or her separating so she can date the OM. Married people do not date others.

These are about chopping the affair.

Read about changing yourself to meet her EN (Emotional Needs).