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#2200023 01/26/09 12:31 PM
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VD (OW) told the Wookie last night that she isn't going to pickup the kids anymore until after the AG court date next month.

Dunno why. The Wookie had called to ask if she'd checked OC6's hair for lice....and also asked where OC4's shoes were (the kids told us that VD had given OC4's shoes to her brother's kid....her mom had bought the kids shoes from Payless...but the shoes OC4 was wearing before were bought by us...)

She told the Wookie she didn't know where OC4's other shoes were, and started going on about us moving to another county and that she wasn't picking the kids up anymore till after court.

Dunno what she's thinking. It's IN the court papers that we are ALLOWED to move to a contigious county and that's what we did. Besides, we're going to court in Feb. for HER failure to pay child support....that has NOTHING to do with visitation.

I'm stumped.

I mean, I'm glad...but I'm also sad for the kids. I kinda thought maybe she's mom up...kinda hoped for the kid's sake she'd behave in a way for THEM for once or something.

I dont' know what i"m gonna tell them....they'll start asking for her in a few weeks when she hasn't called.

Talk about some twisted emotions...dunno how to feel here.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Dealan-de #2200027 01/26/09 12:40 PM
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"I mean, I'm glad...but I'm also sad for the kids. I kinda thought maybe she's mom up...kinda hoped for the kid's sake she'd behave in a way for THEM for once or something."

LOL, not likely to happen. It is sad for the kids, but when I was going through something similar, I actually decided that the kids were better off without mom. Sad to say, but her lifestyle was dangerous to them, she lacked good judgement, was more like a kid herself, and constantly disappointed them.

And when having the kids was no longer profitable for her, she unloaded them.

believer #2200034 01/26/09 12:46 PM
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she unloaded them.

Well...they ain't guns!

Firecrackers...yeah....but guns, nope.

How sad that my children are expendable to her.

I could kick her for that.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Dealan-de #2200073 01/26/09 01:37 PM
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Dealan, sorry to hear about the kids. What else can you expect from the caliber of that type of woman (trash analogy).
Why do you think a leopard can change their spots??

You might be surprised that the OCs don't ask that much about her. I am sure they are happy as clams at your house.

Have you thought about full custody? For all the hassle she is giving you it might be easier all the way around for custody.

So sad how all of this affects the kids. Are they in school?


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
hope3343 #2200091 01/26/09 01:54 PM
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How sad that my children are expendable to her.

You can guess what is probably going through her reptilian brain, right?

It was wookie got her pregnant.

He told her he loved her and he promised her he would stick by her forever.

Then he abandoned her for someone else (does not matter to her that it was for you).

She is the wounded party here. She owes wookie nothing. She owes you nothing.

Wookie can take care of the babies because he made them under false pretenses.

The situation is not her fault.

She was lied to and used shamelessly.

Twice!



You might be able to take advantage of this mindset, you know.


"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan

"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky

WS: They are who they are.

When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
Aphelion #2200124 01/26/09 02:23 PM
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You might be able to take advantage of this mindset, you know.

ITA. How long does this go on in those kid's lives? Until they're grown and have a say so? Have you guys seriously thought about trying to get her rights terminated completely? She's obviously not mother material. How much healthier would they be without her influence?

Do you think it's possible? I see it as you and Wookie protecting them from any further harm.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
Dealan-de #2200197 01/26/09 03:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Dealan-de
I could kick her for that.


Now we know how you DO feel about this.....

Dee,

I too am sorry for all of this. BUT I continue to be amazed at how well you handle it and I think you are most definately on the top of my "HEROS" list.

I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE the way you say "my children".....a shining beacon in their lives.....

Many prayers going out to you and yours....

kiss

not2fun

not2fun #2200211 01/26/09 03:36 PM
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Kimmy - I have lived your situation. My ex always told me that mom was doing "the best she could". For me, it was not enough.

I held my tongue and never badmouthed her in front of her kids, although it was hard to see them so neglected.

So now, they are mostly grown up. They have no contact with mom except when she needs something. Last year my son told her not to contact him anymore.

She has continued to march. She has one baby with her now. So out of 6 kids, she gave 2 up to my ex, raised 2 till she got no more welfare for them - she gave them up to neighbors and friends when they were 14 and 15. She had 1 that went to the father after a bitter court battle.

So sad, but I don't think she will ever change.

believer #2200274 01/26/09 05:30 PM
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(((((((KIMMY))))))))

awhile back on here there was a thread about "if you could have any superpower, what would you choose?"

i never answered that thread cause i couldnt decide between all the cool things. i have finally made my choice.....i want a touch of whatever kimmy has!!! we love you sweetie!


what we do in life......echoes in eternity!
nikko #2200283 01/26/09 05:46 PM
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Nikko - TJ - How are things going for you and your family?

Dealan-de #2200318 01/26/09 07:00 PM
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kiss hug kiss hug kiss hug kiss hug


Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10
Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08
Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08
Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08
Plan B 11/15/08-currently
01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL
01/31/09 Planned brief contact
02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL
Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
Trying2live #2200454 01/27/09 06:43 AM
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believer--

the last 6 months have been so unbelievable....lots of stuff comming at me from all directions....but i am still here. lol

its been rough but we are all still together as a family and moving foward. its good/hard all at the same time. issues with oldest son(tough love time again), hubby working like a madman, me being ill and the docs not having a clue, my beloved little goat passed away not long ago...there is so much more... crazy

but.....even with all of it and then some....we are doing as well as possible. we are doing it together, one day at a time.

thanks for asking...hope all is well with you!


what we do in life......echoes in eternity!
nikko #2200503 01/27/09 08:19 AM
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Originally Posted by nikko
(((((((KIMMY))))))))

awhile back on here there was a thread about "if you could have any superpower, what would you choose?"

i never answered that thread cause i couldnt decide between all the cool things. i have finally made my choice.....i want a touch of whatever kimmy has!!! we love you sweetie!

Nikko, I think VD said that Kimmy has some sort of 'white person mojo magic' or something like that.

cinderella #2200505 01/27/09 08:22 AM
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Now, TJ to the topic of Nikko....... hug hug NIKKO!!!hug hug

Friend, the only time I ever see you is on the Idiotville Trivia Challenge game.

Sorry you are going through tough times. frown Glad you are hanging in there. cool YIKES! on the tough love with ODS. :MrEEk: Sorry, big time, about sweat little goat! cry

cinderella #2200836 01/27/09 04:01 PM
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i want a touch of whatever kimmy has!!!

Right now Kimmy has a touch of the creeping crud. Been snarfy, croupy, coughy since Friday. Missed another day of work today.

I'm sure that's not a "touch" o something you want, but I have a tissue here somewhere....

But thank you all.

Aphy - I think you put it all into words. All of it. gonna let the Wookie read it, it was so good.

And scuse me, but what is a "sweat little goat?"

Is it one that needs Right Guard?

Ban?

Secret?

All my love,
The Keeper of the Communal Tissue

Last edited by Dealan-de; 01/27/09 04:02 PM. Reason: Cos I forgot to add my love

I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Dealan-de #2200872 01/27/09 04:42 PM
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i do read here and keep up on you all almost everyday. just dont post much.... wink

kimmy my dear friend....i would take anything that would make me more like you!! even a cold...lol

you have a grace that amazes me. lets face it...throughout this crappy journey i have lost a lot of faith in mankind. i only need to read a post by you to regain some of it. you my dear are amazing....dont ever doubt that.

oh, and this is a sweet little goat..
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b61/jmeyerpet/christmas07019.jpg

he was my buddy for 18 months that god lent him to us. he gave me kisses every morning no matter what kind of mood i was in, or how i looked. lol i will miss him dearly. i swear if everyone knew how wonderful goats were...dogs and cats would be in trouble. lol

anyway....my heart goes out to you and yours kimmy. god will protect you and those babies.


what we do in life......echoes in eternity!
Dealan-de #2200989 01/27/09 07:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Dealan-de
And scuse me, but what is a "sweat little goat?"

That was a typographical error!!! Nikko knows I meant SWEET!!!! little goat!!!!

He was sweet. He was darling. He was beloved.

sigh

Nikko, I'm dreadfully sorry about your SWEET little goat.

nikko #2201064 01/27/09 10:12 PM
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Originally Posted by nikko

cutest thing ever !

Hiya Nikko my girl - The teenage rebellion does give Mums everywhere grey hair - so keep your red coloring handy!

Pepperband #2201221 01/28/09 08:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Pepperband
Originally Posted by nikko

cutest thing ever !

Hiya Nikko my girl - The teenage rebellion does give Mums everywhere grey hair - so keep your red coloring handy!

IT'S NOT GREY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


IT'S SPARKLY!!!!!!!!!!!!


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Dealan-de #2201475 01/28/09 01:15 PM
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dont laugh.....i havent colored my hair in over a year!!! dance2 i have a huge "SPARKLY" STREAK ABOUT AN INCH AND A HALF WIDE RIGHT IN FRONT!!

hey pep!! long time no talk. i am ok...trying to convince everyone else that itis time for son to stand on his own, somewhere else of course< is not going so good. lol

hey kimmy....how are you? how is the house?

i really should post more----i miss you guys. you all always make me smile. i am stuck inside today....snow and ice galore. no horses, no puppy training...oh yeah....i got a new puppy. Genesis is her name, she's a german shepherd. she helps me with stuff...well she tries. she is 7 months old now and huge. she carries the horse bucket and helps me get up and down when i need help. she also gets shoes and brings me stuff.
anyway....i will try to come and post more often....hopefully not on someone elses thread....sorry kimmy.


what we do in life......echoes in eternity!
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