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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 17
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 17 |
My H of 25 great years has confessed to a work relationship involving mutual attraction, flirting, sexually charged conversation and emails that (he says) ended when she took a new job. Before she left they kissed (with tongue) at the office on two different weeks. He says that she tried to get with him via email and phone later and he declined. Says he never was with her like that. Don't have any info to prove he was. We are getting counseling. How do I begin to understand this?
Last edited by 25yearsbetrayed; 01/28/09 04:42 PM.
Me BS
WH + co-worker
6 kids 21, 18, 14, 11, 9, & 5
DD 1/06/09
NC 1/07/09
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
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Member
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959 |
A quick reply to let you know your post has been read. You may want to e-mail the mods and move your post to General Questions II, as it has more traffic and you'll get more responses.
BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,965
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Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,965 |
Hi, 25YB,
Welcome to Marriage Builders. It's a bad thing that you need this place but honestly, there's no better place TO be when you're dealing with infidelity.
How do you know what happened?
Ask him to take a polygraph. His reaction will tell you a lot. If he gets angry and resentful, he's hiding something and there's more than he's told you. If he agrees, then he's committed to the marriage and wants to set your mind at ease. Do follow through with the request! Many waywards will bluff up until the last minute, and then spill their guts right before the poly.
How do you begin to understand this?
Purchase "Surviving An Affair" or check it out of the library. Sit down with your husband for 30-60 minutes every evening and read it aloud to one another. Answer all the questions. Do it a little bit at a time and you will learn a lot.
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,591
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,591 |
25 years,
I am so sorry that this has happened. Here you are among many others who have also experienced infidelity in their Marriages.
I agree that Dr. Harley's book "Surviving an Affair" is a great place to start. Also, all the information in the articles that are on this website.
Like most of us, you will have all kinds of questions and feelings. The people on these forums are a great resource.
AM
BW - 73
WH - 68
M - 43 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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