Yowza! I did not even think of banking. How does this type of info fit into a plan b?

Funny about DS and coffee break.

I agree. Start setting up some independent life things, show you CAN and MAY live apart from him, because this:

makes me wanna punch something!

GRRRRRR!

For that comment alone, I'd pay to have some guy come and pick you up from the house and take you out. On the same night H is meeting the kids.

I still opt for the underwear model....

Once again, visual image... in his undies. It's snowing here, sure hope it's warm there, for the hunk's sake.



ETA: Weren't you taking salsa lessons at one point? I know Charlotte is into dancing, belly dancing I think, but I thought you'd started some lessons too. You still doing that? If you weren't, you should. Great excuse to get dolled up and get outa the house!

Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode:

"DOESN'T SHE KNOW ABOUT SHRINKAGE?????"

Well it is slightly warmer in Texas as long as he doesn't go swimming..

Yeah isn't that hilarious and he says I am being controlling? LOL Ya know he never checked on me like this Pre-A or even ever looked at the check book. I used to try to get him to come look at the budgting but he never wanted to now is nutso!

I did start a checking account but.....here is the reason i have not used it to pay for everything and transfer it. Yes I am probably being week minded and wimpy in this. As of now, H has been putting money in our account and I have not had to file for LSA(which is good because I don't have the money to being an SAHM for our entire marriage).

I know if I do that he will start messing with the money and I don't want to deal with that. So far I have been able to keep the kids lives the same as far as living in their home etc etc. When I consulted with an attorney he said plan on getting a job and losing your house. Right now H says he gives us about 90% of his income and sadly I believe him. That was one of his brags during PA when I would hint around if he was going to piss off OW by giving us most of his money and he would say, "I can do what I want, no one can tell me what to do"(of course).

So this is why I have not used my won checking...fear really and not wanting to have to move my kids etc. As long as he see's the money and what we do he doesn't mess with us.

So that's why I am trying to use the cell phone thing because we have lots of minutes so I can get call from everywhere, and whats he gonna say, stop talking to everyone??? Even he would know he would sound like an [censored] or he would sound like he cares and he does want to sound like he cares.

Ya know when he was here that night and I repeated the PBL to his face, he had nothing to say can you believe that. He just looked at me. But guess what, when H and my son started to play pool and i left, i had to pass them in the garage to get into my truck because the garage door was open. Well just for a second I caught him. He looked me over. It was very slight be he did and I caught it. It caught me off guard, I wasn't sure ig I should have gotten self conscious or glad, so I just popped in the truck and left. So I think the run in with fixing the sink may be a good thing.

Thoughts I've been given are to have him fix the sink, be gone when he gets there, and arrive back several hours later looking rockin hot and walk him to door when I get home thank him for fixing the sink. I thought about walking in the door being on the cell phone and saying ok I will have to call you back later.
DD17 and I filled 4 huge frames with new pictures of all our day trips and things since last May. We had fun doing them and they look great. They are hanging up in the entry way and in the kitchen. That is going to drive H crazy. He's NOT in a single one and these are pretty large collage frames, abt 2 feet wide by 3 feet long.

I remember pre-SAA I allowed him to come over for the 4th of July. He noticed I had taken down all his pictures in the house. It made him really mad. He commented on it to our mutual church friends saying,"what the h3ll, they took down all my pictures, are they trying to forget me or something?". Yeah I don't get it??!?! You don't want to be apart of this family but you want your wife to stare at your pictures....LMAO-NOT! I took them down over the whole house except the kids rooms, they can have as many as they like.

Travel brochures in kitchen, pictures hanging everywhere, and sink soon to be fixed, and calls coming from different areas....

I like the idea of calls coming to my cell and driving Mr. T2L's control issue nuts so....for more call purposes, I would let anyone of the VETS or regular trusted posters call me on my cell. If you wanna call my cell phone and talk for 5 minutes let me know!!

Right now I have like no calls coming in since I took the entire month of January off from church I actually get very few calls. So it looks like my life is kinda boring. Kids mostly call me, but that's good!

Ya know people like Neak, Pep, Delean, Hope, Turtle, Barbie, SMB, Believer, DancingMachine, Queenie, Lildoggie, PrincessMeggy, Catperson, Jayne, Kayla, Johnstwin, SB etc, forgive me in advance I KNOW I am totally forgetting more names but you get the idea. Sorry If I forgot you goin off the top of my head. MB regular trusted posters and VETS. I know the ones who are not and I know the ones who I will not allow as they have already tried emailing me. I know who the regular and old timers are, I read other threads so don't bother asking if that's not one of you.

If you want to do that, send me an email at the email address in my signature.

Hey T2L, I'll call ya. I'll even call you from work (a law firm)! Wouldn't that be a hoot, he'd really be scratching his head on that one. I'll call you from my cell too which only has the default recording when you call it back. Email me your number please.

I just emailed you my numbers too.

Uh-oh! I just thought of something because this is something I used to do my WH when he was wayward.

Do you have a passcode on your cellphone to get your VMs? My WH did too but I figured out what it was and listened to his VMs all the time. I deleted the ones I didn't want him to hear.

ETA: I even forwarded his calls to MY cellphone. (That drove him nuts... or nuttier)

Anyway, just make sure that this isn't happening to you!!!

Well I don't think he's that quick. But I will always try to answer the calls to the MB'ers who I have given the number to.

Oh yeah and i thought we should space our 5 minutes calls out every 3-4 days. Now this billing will cut off I think on the 15th. So I need some random calls every 3-5 days till the 15th and then we can space them out to weekly or so after that. I just want to see his reaction for this billing. They don't have to be long and most companies have night free and weekends, so hopefully it shouldn't cost ya nuttin.

The thing I like about the cell calls are, really its innocent and harmless as I LOVE talking with you guys and talk to y'all daily already! I consider you my friends. Your not a guy I'm interested in so It shows that I am meeting new people and not crying on my bed dying because of him. And he has no control over it like he does the money. Yipeee!

You do know that this will drive him crazzzzzy! He's apt to start blowiong up someones computer trying to find what chat room you are in!!! You will KNOW it did the job when MB'ers start getting call from him, either hang ups or " how do you know my WIFE" This is great. Keep up the good work! GF

Okay y'all its on. H makes his call to DS10 tonight. He says so where is your mom and DS10 says IDK in her room i guess and H says is she alone??? LMAO LMAO LMAO...Is she alone?? No she's in there with the underwear model and gardener LOL Now that is classic. He told DS10 he will come to visit tomorrow so time for 2nd phase! H needs to see his wife in a new light. He needs to see her possibly moving on as he only see's me as very loyal to him and only waiting for him.

So few days ago he asked DD17 if he needed to come fix the sink. Haven't answered him on purpose. Figured since he is actually going to visit his kids I would use this wisely.

DD17 told him mom said you can come fix the sink tomorrow while she is not home so she does not have to see you. He said ok I will call when I'm on my way. I will be gone when he gets here and return later that evening looking smoking HOT and walk him to the door. Not sure exactly how to walk him to the door but gonna figure it out. I guess something like well thanks for fixing the sink.(Do I say thanks or is that meeting an emotional need?? But if I don't is that an LB?) If anyone else has a creative non LB way to walk someone to the door to insinuate time for you to go without saying it send it on down and quick.

Ok off to pick out slammin outfit!

Oh yeah phone calls that came in today...1 from Texas and 1 from CT

More coming from the State of Washington(AC-above California ) and I thin k a state in the upper eastern US.

to y'all

A big part of changing HIS perception is he sees you are no longer miserable. You need to be happy & excited at the same time nonchalant about seeing him.

You smile inwardly - like you're thinking some really juicy private thoughts.


About what time do you think this might happen? If I'm available - you can call or text me just a minute before you arrive back home. Then, about 10 minutes after that, I will call you - keep your cell IN YOUR HAND , like you are expecting an important call. When the call comes, you look down at your phone, you recognize the number and you beam a smile and your eyes twinkle - you say "Oh, please excuse me, I need to take this one." --- Then rush outside the front of the house to talk (to me).

Once outside (stay out of ear shot but within the line of sight from the front windows) you & I have a roaring laugh. Use body language while talking to your friend... such as

touch your hair
put your other hand on your hip
touch your lips
nod your head
laugh
smile

We won't talk more than a minute. When you hang up you twirl a little bit because talking to me is just too fun!

Then - compose yourself, re enter the house and say your polite "thank you so much you came to my rescue. Let me walk you to your car."

Then H has a choice.

If he questions you about the call - you keep it light and give non answers.

"I know, huh."
"Oh, JUST a friend."
"Not to worry."

If he becomes anxious (which is GREAT, the response we're trying to get) YOU say

>>>look at your watch or the clock<<< "OK. Let yourself out. I'm going to my room." (be sure you say MY ROOM but don't put any vocal emphasis on "my" )

Remember, you are doing innocent things that look fishy (to waywards because they are doing fishy things trying to appear innocent) so do not make this too dramatic when face to face - we do not want him angry - just anxious.

Can you pull this off?

Does your bedroom door have a lock? Lock it once you are there. Then STAY there - you and your precious phone.

Thanking him for his domestic support abolutely is meeting an EN, but it must be done anyway.

Since he is supposed to be gone before you get home, you can be just a tiny fraction surprised to see him, but not upset, just all....whatever dude BTW thanks.... (Don't actually SAY whatever dude, lol.)

And because he is supposed to be gone before you get home, this is not really you breaking PB, it's him trying to break it for you, and you turning it to your advantage. You've gotta get your sink fixed, you can't afford to pay someone to fix it, and we have a pretty good idea how your plumber is going to react.

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NORMALLY NOT PLAN B ACTIVITY. IT SHOULD NOT BE HANDED OUT AS STANDARD ADVICE IN EVERY CASE.

IT BEARS REPEATING THAT T2L HAS ALREADY UPHELD HER PB BOUNDARIES BY PASSING ON THE INFORMATION THAT WH IS TO FIX THE SINK WHILE SHE IS GONE. HE IS NOT GOING TO RESPECT THAT, BUT THAT ISN'T HER PROBLEM.

this is very much "The Art Of War"

corn-fuzz the enemy

Yes I have upheld the PB boundaries. He was told that he can come fix the sink while I am away as it is to difficult to see him(repeater of PBL). And I know a PB can be done this way because there are many others in PB with small children who "must" see their WS's while passing off children. The children are passed off with no break in the boundaries. My H knows he cannot come home until there is no contact. Said in in PB and have said 2 times(the b-day phone call and the mishap of DS10's invitation to play pool in garage). PB was repeated both times.

Anyways I have always wanted to read The Art of War. I heard its one book that everyone should actually own.

Well, okay I think I can do this. Outfit ready-check, going to a friends house to hang out -check, pictures of ONLY kids and I hung up all over the walls-check, travel brochures on table and some minor jottings on them-check. Will be out for several hours, come back and walk in looking great, smelling great and cheerful and confident, will text PEP when I pull up in driveway for my phone call-check, will say be right back need to take this call(laugh, hands on hips, play with hair and hang up-check, will come back in and say ok well I'm going to my room let your self out when your done-check, and go celebrate in my room with some music and a hot bath!

Ok Pep I'm thinking call me about 3-5 minutes after I walk in because I really do not want to make small talk(he will) I really just want to walk in greet the kids, look at the sink, have my phone ring, talk for the few and come back in say let yourself out and go to my room. I want to keep it as much of a PB as possible so I don't want to stand around talking waiting for the phone call if that makes sense. So I will text you the second I get out of the car, if you can call 5 mins after that.

I will text all 3 of you IM's as soon as I leave the house to let you know we are a go!