Of COURSE! *smacks forehead*

In this day and age you can get whatever info you need, online. You could even go to travelocity.com or something, and get a quote for a trip... for 2 adults, with or without 2 kids... you can get all the way to the part where you type in your credit card, and then print that out. Don't worry, as long as you don't type in your credit card you won't be charged, so you can make all the selections you want, and even click "check out now" to get the final itinerary to print out.

Or anything else you want - does Victoria's Secret have an online store? You could get all the way to check-out, and print out the receipt.

ETA: fold, bend and mutilate these print-outs, so as not to look like you jsut printed them out for his viewing.

Okay, I'll bite.

How about hiring a beefy lawn boy?

Then you have an actual physical presence of beefsteak without the emotional attachment.

Just make sure to hire one who smiles all of the time while he looks around with lively eyes, taking in all of the "scenery."



Charlotte

Well not so attached to my wedding dress and DD17 would NEVER wear it LOL. Its so not 2000's, she would call it cruel and unusual punishment!

Awww... what a great idea!

Hello Stella my luv!

I do understand what you are saying and appreciate the encouragement.

But ya ever notice in human nature how we never are really thankful or realize what God has given them until they lose it? It's like suddenly when its too late we go hey wait.

Plus understand this. This a war and battle to me. I am fighting a war for my marriage and if you think that any army just walked out and said Hi I'm your enemy and I am going to shoot you now okay? Is going to happen, its just not. There are tactics, strategies and plans. They are covert, precision and intended probably sometimes to lure in and slay the enemy. I can surrender at anytime but in any battle and time and strategy are crucial. I can "get a life" any old time. I have one taking care and being here for my kids but the getting a life stuff won't disappear if I focus on this for a bit.

Does that makes sense?

Neither of my girls will wear my wedding dress. DD16 is about 8 sizes too big, and DD12 is about 4 sizes too big. Both also tower over me so it will be too short.

We already have a family heirloom christening gown.
If they had trash the dress photo's when I got married I might have done it.

I vote for the beefy lawn boy with a smile and dimples........

Okay y'all I live in Cali and uh landscapers usually are hot and beefy here...they usually are poor and dirty. Truly I haven't seen a hot one yet! LMAO

While it's good to get a life and leave evidence of that life, be very careful not to cross over into dishonesty and deceit. When WH comes back you need to be able to explain everything plausibly.

The flowers? I got those to cheer myself up, the idea of Valentine's day was getting me really down.

The cruise thing you've already mentioned to him, so that's no big deal.

The Victoria's Secret gift card... I'm not so sure about that. It's a hilarious idea but it reeks of out and out manipulation. New lingerie hanging out to dry is great.

LOVE the idea of getting Flick to do your answering machine message!

Have you repainted your room already? That will send a big message too, that you're moving ahead with your life.

Or, do you have any friends who could send them, with a card?

It could even be a girlfriend preferably with a guy's name, if WH doesn't know them... like "Sam" ?

Anyone here wanna do it? Maybe we could all send all the hurting BS's flowers for Valentine's Day.

Or shorten our real names...

Guess I could send some from "Prince".

Victoria Secrets has a HUGE marketing for Valentines day promotion. It is probably the biggest push of the year.
They sell more to men than women at this time of year. And I bet the #1 seller is GIFT CARDS for your VALENTINE.

The trick is to get T2L to look like she does not want him to directly find this information out.

Invite me over for the first time in 3 months and have flowers, sexy underware and tickets sitting out? Yeah, sure.

...Oh please, obvious. Now have OLDER flowers in the trash, (hiding under "simple cover" newspsper) that will get him.

I think the flowers, tickets and undies is waaaay too much overkill. you want him to think he stumbled onto information.
If you go t his route, only pick one.

Re: new relationships don't take cruises with kids. Or brand new girlfriends, fer that matter.

Be sure not to cross over into dishonesty and deceit? T2L is fighting (like a war) for her marriage. I also would not worry at all about explaining yourself AT ALL to him for any action you choose.

Its all manipulation. No matter at what level you participate.
That is not nes. a bad thing.

If I was going to do this,...I'd sure the heck do it right.

Or you could just draw that funny symbol!

This would take more than a day's notice but:

On one of the evenings when WH comes to visit the kids, T2L goes out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, alone... but brings home leftovers? Preferably with the restaurant's name on it... but they are usually plain while bags... so maybe with some souvenir matches or something? - I dunno, seems a little difficult.

I agree not to do very much all of a sudden. Just do a bit here and there over the next couple of weeks..............

Yeah I do understand not wanting to be deceitful, that's why I thought I would leave no message on the extra phone. It doesn't say guy or girl. Just says leave a message in a computer generated voice usually. This way I wouldn't have to explain a guys voice.

As far as victorias(Fredericks too) H knows I love matching undies and bras. He knew I wanted more during Plan A, so its a fifty fifty if it would throw him. He might wonder why I might want more since he's not around. But these are places I have shopped. Can't hurt to just go buy a few undies myself and he can wonder.

I do love flowers and did buy them for myself and one time DD17 bought some for me during PA and H has asked where they came from and she said I bought them for momma. Problem is what do I say if he asks where they came from? I guess If I put them out B4 the kids are around he won't know and the kids can say IDK.

I think I can do these things fairly honestly and leave his mind to wonder for the most part.

Well, I left as planned at 7:45 told DS10 I am having coffee with a friend. H called to talk to DS10 at 8:15, and of course guess what he asks? Yup so where's your mom? Except this time DS10 says IDK she's not here. He asks where I am at and DS10 says IDK.

I ask son when I come home did you get to talk with your dad tonight and he says yup. I ask if he had a nice talk and I say did dad ask where I was again?

DS10 says yes I told him IDK, I ask him well how come you didn't tell dad I went to coffee with a friend? He says well you always say if dad asks to say IDK. I had to tell the kids to answer everything with IDK when PB started because of the madness H was creating. Poor thing thought he still needed to answer everything with that. I say DS10 its okay if I let you know where I am going to say, he says ohhhh okay.

So today I get a lovely call on my cell phone all the way from New Zealand!!! Whooo hooooo! H will now see this on the phone bill. Hilarious! Lildoggie called for a 2 minutes laugh session and quickly hung up!

I think its quite funny. H watches me, he watches my bank account every single day to see what I spend. I guess he does this since he still provides somewhat financially. It definitely has been tighter since he is trying to sustain to residences. He told DD17 that he watches the bank account everyday(mind you he has his own and transfers an amount to mine) and now I think he is watching every cell phone call I make because he has made comments about people in Texas and I have talked to to people in Texas, Dealan and Hope3343. So this tells me he is watching. Since I found this out last month I started having everyone call me on house phone, the bill comes to me and he will not know who i am talking to.

So tomorrow I plan on being gone again....and got some other things in the works.

T2L, I am laughing your son said IDK. For once you wanted him to say and of course he followed your original instructions.

I need to start using my cell to call your cell. It will really start blowing his mind to start seeing calls coming in from CT also. lol dazed and confused.

OMG yeah call me from the CT #, that's what lildoggie said too. She said we should have people from all over call your cell. LOL.

I think its funny! Do y'all remember during Christmas when I had all my church friends over for that party and he found out and had a fit because i told(exposed) everyone, mostly close friends, but I mean come on its not like they wouldn't notice he wasn't around LOL.

Well he was furious he didn't get invited, and he told DD17 well your mom lives and breathes because of me and DD17 says dad you sound nuts and didn't talk to him for the rest of the day. Soooo I think the calls from other places is great! He will wonder why lil old T2L has so many friends he doesn't know, especially that she discovered that there is air and life outside of Mr. T2L, LOLOLOLOLOL. So yeah call me from the CT # on my cell phone!!!

I love that CarolH Thread Melody sent, it's creative, and honest and it worked really well and the best part was the changes her H had. Just loved it, everyone should go read it!!!

You wanna mess with HIS control issues a bit and cause him to wonder what you're up to even more?

Get a credit card in your name only. Then use it to pay for everything. All he'll see is this one payment to a credit card he knows nothing about. I think Mr. T2L will go NUTS!!

Even as a SAHM, there are cards you can get.

Or you could open up an individual checking account and transfer money from the joint account into it.

I did both of these things when tst left. I wanted a clear message sent that he doesn't get to check up on me, monitor me, etc. if he doesn't want to be my husband.

I think it would be a great wake up call for Mr. T2L that he doesn't get to keep "peeking" in on YOUR life since he doesn't want to be a part of it.