Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime

Welcome to the
Marriage Builders^® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com

Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Trying to recover

Print Thread

Trying to recover #2203655 01/31/09 08:25 PM
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 7 G Goingfoward Junior Member
Goingfoward Junior Member G Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 7	Hello, My wh is my best friend. I know what he did was awful and so does he, I had my suspicions for about 2 years. I just proved everything 2 weeks ago. I found e-mails among other things. I know 2 weeks is not a very long time but I spoke to lawyers and family and friends and my wh during this time. I have been reading this website for the past 2 years. We have been married 13 years and we have 3 amazing children and a long happy past together. He left his job at my request and he told the ow goodbye. I want us to be able to move on and move forward. I know only time will tell but I'm very hopeful. That's my abbreviated story.

Re: Trying to recover Goingfoward #2203730 01/31/09 11:59 PM
Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 11,245 C catperson Member
catperson Member C Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 11,245	I'm sorry for your situation. I'm a little confused, though. Are you asking for advice?

Re: Trying to recover catperson #2203810 02/01/09 09:04 AM
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 7 G Goingfoward Junior Member
Goingfoward Junior Member G Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 7	I'm sorry, yes I was asking for advice. When I finally joined the forum I saw that it was recommended that I tell my story and not just read everyone elses. I want to do more to try and recapture what we lost. I still have a great desire to meet the ow. I know her numbers I know where she works, I know where she lives (with her mom and dad). I would feel better meeting her face to face, with her family there and telling her all that I know and putting closure with that part of my life. I'm not a mean person I wouldn't yell or cause a scene. I just feel that if she sees me and her family sees me and they realize that I actually exist, they will help her stay away from him. I also want my wh to go to couseling or therapy with me. Last edited by Goingfoward; 02/01/09 09:43 AM.

Re: Trying to recover Goingfoward #2203828 02/01/09 10:01 AM
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas M MelodyLane Member
MelodyLane Member M Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas	GF, how old is the woman? I would suggest that you speak to her and her parents so they know your WH is married. Exposing it like this reduces the risk of resumption. Sorry you are here. "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101

Re: Trying to recover MelodyLane #2203901 02/01/09 12:41 PM
Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 11,245 C catperson Member
catperson Member C Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 11,245	Most definitely call or visit the OW's parents and siblings. Tell them that you have discovered her affair with your husband and your husband has decided to stop it and stay with you. Ask them to help you save your marriage by keeping aware. Has your husband written a NC letter that you approved and sent yourself to OW?

Re: Trying to recover catperson #2203955 02/01/09 02:21 PM
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 7 G Goingfoward Junior Member
Goingfoward Junior Member G Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 7	Hello, I just figured out what a NC letter means. I will talk to him about that and make sure that we do it tonight. I really appreciate any thoughts and advice you all have to give me. It really helps more then I can say. What do you think is the best way I should go about making contact with the ow and her family?

Re: Trying to recover MelodyLane #2203957 02/01/09 02:24 PM
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 7 G Goingfoward Junior Member
Goingfoward Junior Member G Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 7	She is 22 year old. Originally about 3 years ago he called her a stalker. He later told me that her boyfriend was following him and I told him to go to the police department because you never know what is going through their mind and what they are capable of doing. I was afraid for him, I told him to stay away from her because I have had men stalking me before and I know that it usually does not end good.

Re: Trying to recover Goingfoward #2204702 02/02/09 04:29 PM
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 7 G Goingfoward Junior Member
Goingfoward Junior Member G Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 7	I think I'm going to go there tonight to talk to the ow and her parents. Any advice would help. Thanks,

Re: Trying to recover Goingfoward #2204708 02/02/09 04:35 PM
Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 634 M mindshare Member
mindshare Member M Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 634	GF, Can you give us some more info? How old are you? How old is WH? Any children? How long have you been married? This place is amazing. You can get all the support and great advice in the world for free from people who have been there before you. Keep reading, educating yourself and posting. Mindshare

Re: Trying to recover Goingfoward #2204715 02/02/09 04:43 PM
Joined: May 2008 Posts: 642 S sickwithworry Member
sickwithworry Member S Joined: May 2008 Posts: 642	Originally Posted by Goingfoward I think I'm going to go there tonight to talk to the ow and her parents. Any advice would help. Thanks, Do they know you are coming or are you showing up unannouced? That's important. If you are showing unnanounced I would not go alone. If you have an appt. then they prob have been told the daughter's spin. Stay calm, take a family member or close friend. If you have proof (emails etc.) bring it as well and be prepared to give copies to the parents. Stay calm, and focused. Tell them straight out you know all about the A. That, yes, it is the most devastating thing that you could ever imagine happening to you, then move to your h has decided to remain with you and there needs to be NC and you need the parents help. Be mentally and emotionally prepared for the daughter to deny and/or the parents to support their daughter over you. You've got guts. Good for you.

Re: Trying to recover mindshare #2204747 02/02/09 05:20 PM
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 7 G Goingfoward Junior Member
Goingfoward Junior Member G Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 7	Hi Mind Share, I'm 40 years old my wh is 43, our children are 7, 7, and 9. We have been together 18 years married for 13 years. This is a great website. It is sad that there are so many people with the same devastation in their lives. It is very comforting to know that we are all here supporting each other. Thank you, GF

Re: Trying to recover sickwithworry #2204766 02/02/09 05:31 PM
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 7 G Goingfoward Junior Member
Goingfoward Junior Member G Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 7	Hi SWW, I really do believe I have guts.......but I chickened out. I telephoned the ow father instead of going there and I just got off the phone with him. We had a long talk, I told him everything. He was very supportive of me and very sorry for me. He said that he would make sure to keep in contact me so we can make sure there is no contact between them. I told him that he needs to be there for his daughter now because she will need him. My husband knows I spoke to him and what we spoke about, he was sorry that I had to go through that. What do you think so far. GF

Moderated by Fordude

Hop To

Link Copied to Clipboard

Forum Search

Welcome to theMarriage Builders® Discussion Forum

Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Trying to recover

Welcome to the
Marriage Builders^® Discussion Forum