This thread tangent reminds me of the "hog boiling time" scene in Fried Green Tomatos.

"The secret's in the sauce..."

Hi there,

Well, this has been quite and interesting week. I SUDDENLY got the most FUN flu on Monday night and the good news is I LOST 8 lbs. Almost better than the infidelity diet.

Seeing that I have spent most of my week in bed, I've gone through so many thoughts. This diseased mind of mine.

I think the latter is true. He is looking out to make life easier on himself and his sick relationship. I can only hope it's feeling the crunch financially like I DO every month when I tell my children we don't have enough to get that or this.

The good news, I still am that this scumbag WH would go after not only MY MONEY, but get out of being a PARENT. He is despicable, and I'm NOT GOING TO MAKE IT EASY He REALLY doesn't want to go down this road with me. I'm not that stupid, fat, ugly, thrown away wife he walked out on anymore. I am a GODDESS, who has LEARNED to LOVE herself, take CARE of herself, PROTECT HER CHILDREN at all costs and is WILLING to FIGHT this MONSTER until the bitter end. I won't roll over easy. What would I be afraid of? LOSING HIM? I ALREADY HAVE AND HAVE SURVIVED.

I HAVE SURVIVED THE AFFAIR......

No Bugs, there is NO significant amount of funds, nor do I just get to ACCESS the money like he thinks. It's absolutely left up to the SOLE discretion of the trustee of the estate and he isn't just handing out money to me.

From what I can gather, WH doesn't have an A and is trying to push me into things I am NOT WILLING to do. But I'm not the OLD QUEENIE... In fact he doesn't even KNOW QUEENIE and that SHE LIVES and SURVIVES. She FIGHTS WARS, she FIGHTS MONSTER WH's, and she FIGHTS for HER CHILDREN....

Queenie, did you read my last reply to you?

Thank you so much everyone for your support.

Hi NOT, I sure miss you.

I am a WARRIOR GODDESS. I had a MOMENT, but it was gone because I asked G-d for help and gave it to him because he knows my motives, he knows the truths of the situations, he has the plan for me and I TRUST HIM to take care of me.

Unfortunately PM, it's the spousal support that I NEED to be able to remain in my apt. I can't survive without the spousal support and that's what DOES have me concerned. I could always offer him the car and the payments along with it, or possible pull our the surprise in my hat that NO ONE knows about. He doesn't realize what and who he is dealing with. I don't want to live high on the horse, I want to just be able to remain in the apt that I MOVED into after HIS CHOICES forced me to move from our HOUSE, the house that my children only knew. I'm asking for spousal support until my son graduates.

I also think that at the time I was awarded child support WH was given everyother weekend. Since YS and NOT ONCE been to his place I should get more money for having him 24/7.

No, I don't believe WH has his own A, but I can assure you it won't be MINE. I can also assure you, WE haven't agreed on anything. If that flippin moron thinks he destroyed me so bad that I am willing to just fade away without me seeking what is RIGHTLYFULLY MINE, he is sadly in not just a drug induced state, but is seriously in need of mental health for delusions....

Thank you all who support and believe in ME.. This is your success as much as mine. You stuck with me, even when you wanted to knock me over. I can honestly say I was STILL willing to work on this M and would have DONE ANYTHING to get him HOME. But THIS... This is the END. He PUSHED to FAR. I'm DONE.

He wants a crack ho with hepatitis C, whose smokes, is a grandmother, looks like she is 65 and probably going to not be around very long because she has a deadly illness, then good luck you IDIOT.

Please know, I still love my H deeply. Plan B was a success because there was and is still the love to have made my M work. But he doesn't want it and it's time to set me FREE.

Sorry for the rambling.... I'm worked up as you can tell.

PM we were cross posting. Yes ma'am I did read your post and just replied.

So a divorce was actually filed, not just a LSA?

Good for you recognizing the danger in sharing an attorney!

I'm so proud of you Queenie... your WH has no idea who you've become. Boy, is he in for a surprise!

Queenie, I offer THIS tribute to your growth!

Hi Mimi, thank you... I tried Mimi to hold out. I certainly don't disagree with the principles of MB or the plans. I certainly am a success of them. I didn't want this divorce and I certainly couldn't imagining it happening this soon, but it seems that it's taken on a life of its own and being the control freak that I was... Have to LET IT GO... I have turned it over to G-d.

I absolutely still agree WH is no different than anyone else's. And maybe remarriage is down the line for us. No one really knows what G-d has planned. But it's clear to me that WH isn't interested in being a man and taking care of his children for BASIC NEEDS. Well I learned that if he won't, I WILL and I AM.

Yes, PM it's become a divorce and not LSA. He isn't abiding to the terms of the LSA and for some reason, G-d perhaps, the A feels that we need to get final resolution to this which is a divorce.

Personally I wasn't ready for it, but you KNOW. I have walked through this whole ordeal by letting G-d lead me. I feel like it's time. I feel that I gave it my all, as Mark suggested. I left nothing undone and in the end, there was NOTHING more for me to do, but love him enough to set him free and build my own life of happiness and joy. And I deserve that. I deserve to love someone and be loved back.

PM, thank you so much for you kind words. I have GROWN and BLOSSOMED, beyond anything I can imagine. G-d had FAITH in ME. And I TRUSTED him to lead me to the land of milk and honey. I'm not there yet, but I KNOW who is LEADING me...

You are so RIGHT. WH has NO COMPREHENSION of who I have BECOME. And who KNOWS if he will even REALIZE it. But you know what, IT DOESN'T MATTER.... I KNOW who I have become and all that truly matters is I am PROUD and HONORED to be HER....

Cinderella, you are so kind and gracious. I'm so completely grateful and humbled by this. Thank you... One day, maybe my story will be told because it's a story of true survival of handling that absolutely worst or the worst in human nature and learning to give it to G-d and trust him enough to get me through it.

Queenie, I am in tears reading this. I am so proud of you.

You ARE quite a lady, my friend, quite a lady!

QUEEN QUEENIE RULES!!!

Hi Queenie!

I am so proud to be your friend-your MB friend, your IRL friend, and fellow flood survivor. We never know what God has planned, but we do know that He knows, and sometimes, that's enough.

I love you-JT

PS: Let's get together soon

Forget surviving....Queenie gets mad!!!!!

((((((QUEENIE))))))))

Thank you so very much SMB, Cinderella, and Luna. You have to understand how very much this new me is first because of G-d and then of MB and your patience with me through it all.

Hi TMTS, I MISS you so VERY much. Do you know that when Queenie gets mad she seeks G-d for guidance and the next indicated step, like she does when she drives to the store tonight and realizes WH's car is in the parking lot.

She doesn't hide, but she doesn't seek, she just asks G-d and connects with someone to walk through with her, to keep her focused and remember she is a child of G-d and she is moving on. It took me under an hour...UNDER AN HOUR to have forgotten the whole affair and moved on to the next indicated step. UNDER AN HOUR..... And the Queenie comes home, make buffalo wings, and head's out to her 2nd AA meeting for the day.

And before that little blip in her day, she woke up, went to an AA meeting, took her sponsor out because sponsor had surgery yesterday, went shopping with her sponsor, and then went to a pampered chef party where SHE DIDN'T BUY ANYTHING.

Oh yes, Queenie is a NEW WOMAN. A WOMAN OF G-D, who doesn't need "things" to her fix.

When in pain she has learned to come home and read Torah, and she came upon Psalm 61
1 Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
2 From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

3 For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.

4 I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.

or Psalm 59
1 Deliver me from my enemies, O God;
protect me from those who rise up against me.
2 Deliver me from evildoers
and save me from bloodthirsty men.

3 See how they lie in wait for me!
Fierce men conspire against me
for no offense or sin of mine, O LORD.

4 I have done no wrong, yet they are ready to attack me.
Arise to help me; look on my plight!

5 O LORD God Almighty, the God of Israel,
rouse yourself to punish all the nations;
show no mercy to wicked traitors.
Selah

6 They return at evening,
snarling like dogs,
and prowl about the city.

7 See what they spew from their mouths—
they spew out swords from their lips,
and they say, "Who can hear us?"

8 But you, O LORD, laugh at them;
you scoff at all those nations.

9 O my Strength, I watch for you;
you, O God, are my fortress, 10 my loving God.
God will go before me
and will let me gloat over those who slander me.

11 But do not kill them, O Lord our shield, [b]
or my people will forget.
In your might make them wander about,
and bring them down.

12 For the sins of their mouths,
for the words of their lips,
let them be caught in their pride.
For the curses and lies they utter,

13 consume them in wrath,
consume them till they are no more.
Then it will be known to the ends of the earth
that God rules over Jacob.

Oh yes, wouldn't it have been nice to face WH as the new me, but you know what, the new ME didn't want to meet him, she is in Plan B and in Plan B she shall stay. In Plan B, she continues to become stronger and stronger, surrenduring more to G-d each and every day and TRUSTING he has her BACK and WILL TAKE CARE of her.

JT, you have always been my strength of hope to keep walking in the Lord, even when I didn't want to, even when I was afraid to face the future without WH. It is I who is proud and blessed to have you in my life. It is I who is so grateful you have become my friend not just in MB, but IRL and by the way, SmartiePants, that includes you and Chai too and Oh Miss Cinderella, Lil and many others.

I hope we absolutely get together soon woman....

WOW! I missed a lot.

YOU GO GIRL!!!

Hi Queenie:
Just wanted to add what an amazing woman you are! You have put on your big girl panties and taken the bull by the horns.

That being said, I, too, am amazed how low WH's will stoop to weasel themselves out of paying their just dues. Yours with the trust, mine I just noticed has taken withdrawls out of our 401K and home equity loan to finance his rock star life style.

Your attorney is there to protect your and your kids' rights. Let him do his job to get you the best settlement you can.

Me -- I'm on a mission to uncover as much backup documentation as possible to show debts on his side of the ledger. It pisses me off to no end to sort through every credit card statement and every transaction I can find, but I know this is what I have to do to protect me and the kids.

You only get one chance to negotiate the best divorce settlement as possible. You being the Goddess you are -- You need to fight for the best you can. You have endured a lot of hurt. You have endured his betrayal and abandonment. And through it all, you have continued to protect your children.

Remember -- you were part of a long term M and should be represented as such. Emphasis on LONG-TERM. This should have a bearing on the spousal support award!

BIG HUGS for queenie!!!

I have read this post and even though I have been gone doesnt mean I do not know whats been going on. Girl I missed you and all the others.

I am glad to see you growing and becoming stronger and moving foward.

Love ya
L

Q,

You rock. WH should not mess with you now girlfriend. The force is with you.