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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Member
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OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
While I agree that OG is a bit rough around the edges, you have no idea her pain. You have no idea what it is like to have your husband get another woman pregnant. You have no idea why many couples choose NC with the OC. Do not come on this board and tell a BW they have an obligation beyond financial to the OC, because they don't.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Member
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OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
My only quibble might be with regard to the child--although conceived in the worst of possible circumstances, the child is INNOCENT and the child is also HIS as well. It seems like you are saying "tough [censored]" not only to the OW (appropriately so, I agree) but also to this infant. Yes, this WH could abandon his child completely to be raised fatherless. Yes, he could just write a check once a month for 18 years and wash his hands of him/her. That seems harsh to me.
He could reconcile with his wife, have NC with the OW, and fight for custody of the child (heck, the loser OW may not want the kid anyway). If he and his wife can reconcile their marriage (and I agree the wife has every right to not take him back under any circumstances), I would imagine she would have a lot more respect for her reformed-husband if he shouldered responsibility as a father rather than shirking his obligations to an innocent child. You see, you are assuming OW will be reasonable. You are assuming the BW can handle having a permanent reminder of her H's adultery in her home. You are forgetting that the OC is not the only innocent party in this mess. The BW and the COM are innocent as well. Contact must be POJA'd and if the BW and WH decide together that NC is best for their family, then so be it. I have seen so many instances of nutty OW who demand to be included in the family's business. OW whose sense of entitlement is so high the only way to deal with them is NC.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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