Thnaks PM,
I guess I dont even know what I'm asking...just venting I suppose. My WW WAS the most caring wonderful wife and Mom ever. When we talk about alien abductions, fog, crack addict, etc....I LIVE THIS. This person I'm married to is NOT the person I just described.

I don't want to be preachy, but I hit my knees daily and prasie God for giving me the strength to be the best Dad possible. DS12 will be just fine because the love he gets from me will demonstrate how to live life HONESTLY.
My WW thinks DS12 does not know...but trust me HE KNOWS and I am afraid that his love for his Mom is dwindling down. Don't get me wrong, he LOVES his Mom, but I think he hates what she is doing, therefore he cant help losing respect for her. All of the older children are already there.

The sad part of this is that I LIKE to help him and he wants it. I just assumed he has completed and assumed it was right. Boy o boy, the lessons God allows us to learn :MrEEk:

Finally...some good news to share.

I Met with principal, guidance councellor, and all DS12's teachers yesterday.
The meeting started off with a little attitude. I sat there thinking, why are they mad at me? Then I got it...they think we do not care about our son.

So....I said that there are some circumstances that I feel they need to know in order for us all to help DS12.

I said..."about 5 months ago my WW decided that she was more in love with a high school sweetheart than she is with me".

I had them at that point. We all exchanged email addresses and cell phone numbers. They all have internet access in their classrooms and I explained that if they email me, I get email instantly on my blackberry and can and will respond at that moment.

They brought DS in and the GENUINE compassion filled the room. We mapped out a plan to get him involved again. He seemed to be relieved as well.

The teacher that HAD the most attitude from the start, stopped me when she was leaving and said she was sorry. She felt something was wrong and did not take the time to ask. She was sincere in saying that and I believe she will help us the most!!

Thank God!!

I have written an email to WW and will text her tonight and ask her to read it. I will not respond to anything from her except email.

So....back to my question that I keep asking, knowing there is not an answer........."how can a Mom and a wife do this to their family"???????? It is 7 days and WW still has no idea about grades and the severity of them. She has no idea I have been to the school

And oh by the way.....I have no idea what to expect. Anyone have any thoughts on possible reactions. I really don't care what reaction she gives, just would like to know what to expect....ya know?

I would use this opportunity to contact her and resolve the problem. Take this problem on it's own merit and try to jointly get a solution.

DO NOT talk about marriage problems. Use the time to listen to her more carefully. (ie. Plan A)

A WW can/will forget everthing. Use this time to mark her response
as a child minder for legitimate purposes.

Good Morning!!

Another question concerning the children.

For a couple months now, I have noticed a vehicle closely matching the OM's parked about a block down from WW residence. Never really thought about it until last night when I dropped off DS12.

This vehicle justs looks out of place, so I circled the block and wrote the tag number down. Well, guess what? Yep, OM's truck.

My DS12 is the greatest kid on the planet. However, DS is lying to me about seeing the OM.

2X4's for me even asking...but I am STILL very concerned about my son's involvement with the OM. Guess thats the Dad in me wanting to protect him. (OM purchased equipment so that DS has online gaming capibility, and of course DS is hooked...bad!)

???? How do I handle this with DS? Is he protecting me? I have tried very hard to allow him to express his feelings and to make sure WW does not educate him in WS moralities. This is a new twist for me. Really do not know how to handle this one.

Advice?

Oh that's so sad! One thing that worked a lot with me and D18 was that I told her that mothers (insert fathers here) know everything, and that while I may know everything that's going on, I may choose not to 'show my hand' because part of growing up is learning how to think for yourself and solve problems. She generally believed that, and it let her know that I had her back, but that I had confidence in her to take care of things.

That said, I also made sure she knew that if the problem was too big for her, I would step in in an instant and take care of things if she asked me.

This would be a good time for you to try this. Tell him you know what the situation is over there, and you want him to know that if the problem is too big for him to handle (knowing what he should feel or think about OM being there), you're ready to jump in and help him through it.

Also point out that you're the adult, not him, and it's not his job to protect you or his mom or anyone - his job is to be a kid and not worry about what the grownups are doing.

Then ask him if he'd like to talk about the situation.

thanks Cat.

So, my Pastor just called to check on me. I asked him the same question that I just posted here.

His advice is to leave it alone. "Your son is trying to protect you. Confronting him, even gently, will cause more harm that good."

????

Which just consolidates my belief that pastors have NO business counseling. They do more harm than good. gah

Talking to your son is NEVER a bad idea.

Cat, right again....this is a great guy and a good person. I believe that unless you have expierenced the effects of adultry first hand, you are not able to see the "other side".
Guess that is why this site and the Harley's are very valuable to us.


For me, I HAVE to stand up for the truth. What kind of Dad would I be if I didn't?

So, young DS and Dad will have a TRUTH chat...soon.

For some of you this may be an easy answer, but for whatever reason I'm struggling.

Early on in my posts I told the story about the OM being a deputy. He came to my home on D-Day (I didn't know at the time), in his official vehicle, in uniform, WITHOUT PERMISSION from his office.

During exposure, this all came out and an internal investigation ensued. I personally know the Sheriff and now the IA investigation is complete.

Big department, lots of politics, etc. Here's the deal. The department will take no action against the OM, UNLESS, I sign the complaint form.
My signature will result in his termination. Violation of department policy, conduct un-becoming, etc.

I know he is a POSOM, but he has a 12 year career. I WANT to see him suffer for being a @#@$$!! POS.

I need to really think this through....advice?

Walk into the sheriff's office with your head high, shoulders back and chest out ... and SIGN THE COMPLAINT ... thank them, turn around and don't look back.

Personally, I would relish the opportunity you have, and I bet many other BH's would too.

Wow,

I think I would do the same.
He took the chance to hump your wife, I think you should take the chance to take his job. Why should he be allowed to bask in his affair with your wife.

Explain to us what you are struggling with...

He has abused his position as a LEO. Misplaced company time for the sake of his own personal goals. He has used this position to gain unfair access to you in your circumstances.

Nail him!

This is enough reason to take the OM down. Here is the deal - he asked for the drama when he interloped in yours and family's life.

Do it already. You should be the last person trying to protect him from the consequences of his actions. I'll bet he's never apologized for them anyway.

Thanks all!!

Sheriffs office is 10 minutes away from mine. Soon as I posted, I thought WTF am I doing?

So, I walked in with my head high, shoulders back, and chest out....(didn't know it, but did) and I

SIGNED THE COMPLAINT !!!!!

Walked out without looking back......damn the torpedoes!!!!

Nope. You've got this wrong. His BEHAVIOR will result in his termination. Consequences.

Kickme,

I have never posted to you but have been reading your thread since the beginning. You have grown so much since your nightmare began! Way to go!

God's Blessings,

Say

Sorry, cant help but think that this post is like one of those cliffhanger endings they use in soap operas.