Did not have Sunday meeting. Plan B letter delivered today.

Kang,

I have been following your thread but have not yet weighed in. You have been in plan A basically since October, right?

During that time you have offered your wife lifts to and from work, allowed her to spend money on the OM and on her new apartment, and (I don't know where you had the patience for this one) went shopping with her for furniture etc. for her new shack pad and even offered an opinion on items when she asked, knowing they were going into the adulterers den.

She did everything but ask you, "Do you think this sofa would be too hard on my back while me and OM are going at it?"

I am glad you sent the letter and i wish you good luck in maintaining NC. It seems she is torn right now (e.g. crying etc.)

After all, "It's not fair you won't let me have sex with the OM and still get rides to work from you and have you always there to respond to my other needs, waaaaahhhhh!!!"

She'll either wise up to this loser and come back...or she won't. But I believe the advice you have been given here is sound. As long as you continue to be there for her, even in small ways, while she hasn't made up her mind and committed, you will remain in limbo hell.

I hope there are not too many false recoveries.

The letter is fine ... it conveys the necessary information ... "there will be no future contact between us until you sever contact with OM permanently".

IMHO, the wording of the message is much LESS important than you being willing to defend its terms.

That means no conversations ... you don't answer her calls or respond to her texts or emails, and you don't send messages through others. Basically, she is dead to you as long as she remains in contact with OM.

Now go out and do something fun for yourself. Read up on the 180 and implement it. Move on with your life.

Well I haven't posted for a week since WW left and I gave her plan B letter, because nothing has happened. There has been NC.

In myself I am feeling fine, perhaps a little relieved. I have used the huge amount of spare time that has become available to pick up an old hobby (model railway - not done for 40 years!), started to exercise more and contacted some old friends.

Still hope for a positive response from WW but not expecting it.

I thank those who reccommended the plan B route because although not happy I can already feel some positive aspects coming back into my life.

The next challenge comes this Wednesday as we have to meet together our son's teacher at school. Not sure how that will go but plan to be cool and non-communicative with her.

Any news? Any results? Anything different? Learned anything lately from this site?