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So where does this leave your wife financially? Equity cut, Child support, and Job?
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I can't but help seeing this lady try to explain what happened to her life years down the line.
But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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Psub,
If you wish to do it, then you need to let the mods know that you want to contact me offline and that I'm ok with it. I'm going to notify them that we can communicate offline and they'll let us exchange emails.
D-Day 28 Feb 06 Plan D (Not by choice) - 24 March 06 DD6 DS4(Twin1) DS4(Twin2)
She moved away with the kids April 08. I contested it and got a lot more time with my kids. She's unhappy that I want to stay involved in their lives and don't settle for being an "every other weekend" dad.
Never going to happen.
Ongoing personal recovery through the help of friends, family, and DC United Soccer!
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I took up the offer to have the enforcement officer look to extradite to PA. Hopefully they'll get the POSOM. I was talking with a woman who works with me - her daughter's father owes 23k in child support. However, she stopped pursuing it. Her daughter graduated from college and felt like what's the point? She didn't want to put her daughter through it either. This is what these POS do - the try and outlast the custodial parent and they end up winning and the children suffer because of it. Looking ahead, I have no idea what WW is going to do in 4 weeks. She has to find a place for herself, POSOM, the two kids, 8 horses, and 4 dogs. In the buyer's original offer, they offered to let her keep some of her horses on the farm for 6 months as long as she took care of them. However, in our counter offer, she rejected this! If anything, it would give her time to find a place for the horses. As for what we are going to get in property division, we won't get much. But, eventhough we are both filing for bankruptcy, it looks like we will save all of the capital assets including the house. For me, the bankruptcy is going to suck short term - I'll be a renter for a few years but living on my own, my expenses are low and I have a good job. I should be able to rebuild my credit eventually. Her on the other hand...I don't know. She is starting out in a more precarious situation than when we graduated from college!
Me BH 49 WXW 50 Married 1998 DS 2002 DD 2005 D Day 1 7/28/08 D Day 2 8/19/08
Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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I've passed the info, but don't know if she'll get it till Monday. She's willing, though, and will take action.
Have you talked to an advisor into your options other than bankrupcy?
Perhaps you could argue to the court that bankrupcy isn't good for the children and that you should be able to stay there with the kids.
I still think you should have primary custody, given her crazy behavior.
What's the status on that? What arrangement do you have?
D-Day 28 Feb 06 Plan D (Not by choice) - 24 March 06 DD6 DS4(Twin1) DS4(Twin2)
She moved away with the kids April 08. I contested it and got a lot more time with my kids. She's unhappy that I want to stay involved in their lives and don't settle for being an "every other weekend" dad.
Never going to happen.
Ongoing personal recovery through the help of friends, family, and DC United Soccer!
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We have 50/50 shared custody. She has the kids Mon / Tues night, I have them Wed / Thurs, then we alternate weekends.
As for persuing full custody, I may get it by default at the end of the month. WW has zero money. She also had a 10K CD in her name seized by the bank a couple of weeks ago. Turns out one of the CC she maxed out was at the same bank and she has not made payments so the bank took the CD.
So, WW may be homeless since she will have very little cash for a security deposit on a new place.
For the bankruptcy, we are filing separately. Beleive it or not we did not own one joint credit card between us. She is definately chapt 7, I am borderline chapt. 7 vs chapt. 13. I would rather have 7 - it discharges all the debt and I can start rebuilding my credit in 6 months.
Me BH 49 WXW 50 Married 1998 DS 2002 DD 2005 D Day 1 7/28/08 D Day 2 8/19/08
Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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psubiker
"In the buyer's original offer, they offered to let her keep some of her horses on the farm for 6 months as long as she took care of them"
Make sure this offer never gets made again if possible.
Great you took that offer. Keep us posted on that.
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Gratefully the place is sold...
Do these horses not belong to you as well? I'll be dang amazed that there is material possession for WW at the end of this bankruptcy.
Last edited by imagine; 01/31/09 02:14 PM.
But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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Had a GREAT day with the kids. We made some breakfast. Then, this afternoon we went to the park and then rode the bikes. Played some XBOX with DS6 too. He LOVES Lego Indy and Lego Star wars. A lady from work who recently divorced has a DS6 and DD3 - same age as mine was at the park with her kids as well. We talked about work and took the kids to McDonalds. No worries - no realationship for us. We witnessed first hand the fallout from an office relationship gone sour. Last night, the kids and I went swimming at the Y. We had a BLAST. The only thing that slightly ruined things was a call from WW at around 9am this morning. She said she didn't realize closing was 2/27! She was blaming the realtor for telling her! I told her I knew about it because I saw it in the sales agreement. She kept telling me "how am I going to get all of this done? This move is going to be so hard!" I just said Yup! I agree with her - I don't know how she is going to do it. We had a hard enough time 4 1/2 years ago doing it ourselves. She wasn't working and did all the packing. Now, we have a lot more stuff. Plus, we had a place to move everything to! Here's what she needs to do in 4 weeks: - Find a place to live for 2 adults, 2 kids, 4 dogs, and 10 horses. Keep in mind she brings in about 2700/mo after taxes and has close to 1400 in car, truck, and horse trailer payments. Of course, Snaggletooth doesn't work. - pack up her things and move to a new place - do all this while working a full time job.
Me BH 49 WXW 50 Married 1998 DS 2002 DD 2005 D Day 1 7/28/08 D Day 2 8/19/08
Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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Find a place to live for 2 adults, 2 kids, 4 dogs, and 10 horses. Keep in mind she brings in about 2700/mo after taxes and has close to 1400 in car, truck, and horse trailer payments. Of course, Snaggletooth doesn't work. wow - that is a recipe for a financial collapse and this is after Ch7? I suppose she will have to get rid of a few horses. Amazing what a wayward will give up for an unemployed "snaggletooth".
Me:52 W: 52 Married: 32 yrs 2 Sons (29 & 23) 1 Dtr (20) 1 GDtr (2.5) precious little girl
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Oh when does the WW admit/realize that her OM will not/can not meet her needs.
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ya know TR - just my pov
This WW is teetering on a total meltdown. You can feel there will be a drama episode very close in the near future. I do hope PSU can protect the kids from the inevitable breakdown. He might be her only savior when she finally crashes.
Last edited by rwinger; 02/01/09 06:16 PM.
Me:52 W: 52 Married: 32 yrs 2 Sons (29 & 23) 1 Dtr (20) 1 GDtr (2.5) precious little girl
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Find a place to live for 2 adults, 2 kids, 4 dogs, and 10 horses. Keep in mind she brings in about 2700/mo after taxes and has close to 1400 in car, truck, and horse trailer payments. Of course, Snaggletooth doesn't work. wow - that is a recipe for a financial collapse and this is after Ch7? I suppose she will have to get rid of a few horses. Amazing what a wayward will give up for an unemployed "snaggletooth". She did sell a couple of horses this weekend. Little does she know that my A is already drafting papers for discovery of her business activities - the horses are assets of her business and any sale of assets goes into property division. Plus, since part of her business is the sale of horses, it should also go into her child support calculation too.
Me BH 49 WXW 50 Married 1998 DS 2002 DD 2005 D Day 1 7/28/08 D Day 2 8/19/08
Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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ur good - sounds like you have things covered. You realize that there is a meltdown on the horizon? be prepared.
Me:52 W: 52 Married: 32 yrs 2 Sons (29 & 23) 1 Dtr (20) 1 GDtr (2.5) precious little girl
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ur good - sounds like you have things covered. You realize that there is a meltdown on the horizon? be prepared. We're waiting for the meltdown. She's already had two. One in court back in November and then last month.
Me BH 49 WXW 50 Married 1998 DS 2002 DD 2005 D Day 1 7/28/08 D Day 2 8/19/08
Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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She did sell a couple of horses this weekend. Little does she know that my A is already drafting papers for discovery of her business activities - the horses are assets of her business and any sale of assets goes into property division. Plus, since part of her business is the sale of horses, it should also go into her child support calculation too.
Isn't this business half yours as well?? The value of the horses is mutual property!!
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Oh, how I laugh devilishly at the thought of the possibility that we could add an arrest of OM to the whole equation. Perhaps we can time it to all hit right aroud the 27th of Feb. I really, really hope my friend in the CS enforcement can come through. If that happens then:
D-Day 28 Feb 06 Plan D (Not by choice) - 24 March 06 DD6 DS4(Twin1) DS4(Twin2)
She moved away with the kids April 08. I contested it and got a lot more time with my kids. She's unhappy that I want to stay involved in their lives and don't settle for being an "every other weekend" dad.
Never going to happen.
Ongoing personal recovery through the help of friends, family, and DC United Soccer!
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Is there any way that you can help meet her needs without the presents of OM.
This is how OM got his claws into WW.
Can you return the compliment?
But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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As for meeting her needs, I going for domestic support right now. She has no time to take the kids to Dr appointments, paperwork for the schools, bake cupcakes, etc. I've been doing all that stuff plus arrangeing DD3 speech therapy.
Me BH 49 WXW 50 Married 1998 DS 2002 DD 2005 D Day 1 7/28/08 D Day 2 8/19/08
Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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As for meeting her needs, I going for domestic support right now. She has no time to take the kids to Dr appointments, paperwork for the schools, bake cupcakes, etc. I've been doing all that stuff plus arrangeing DD3 speech therapy. This is actually meeting your kid's needs, not hers. It's also handy ammunition if and when you have a custody battle. On another note: My friend hadn't received the email I sent before. I resent it this morning and am following up with her. Will keep you posted.
D-Day 28 Feb 06 Plan D (Not by choice) - 24 March 06 DD6 DS4(Twin1) DS4(Twin2)
She moved away with the kids April 08. I contested it and got a lot more time with my kids. She's unhappy that I want to stay involved in their lives and don't settle for being an "every other weekend" dad.
Never going to happen.
Ongoing personal recovery through the help of friends, family, and DC United Soccer!
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