My D Day was last night. I have a thread in the just found out that says up all night.

My question is we are going to MC on Friday. Today was good but I really do not know anything more than he has been having an A for 2 yrs and he says he wants to repair our marriage and he says he will not see her anymore.

So I am kinda out of the shock of it since I stayed up all night and went through all emotions. My question is do I start the questions tonight of who is she, where and when did this start etd etd or do I wait for professional help and guiadance through our beginning to recovery??

Thank you for your advice.

Whew! What a story. So glad that you found out that you don't have breast cancer. You got excellent advice on your first thread. I suggest that you just rest up tonight and relax.

This stuff takes a lot of time, and there is a plan here. We will help you through this. But right now, you need to take a little break.

By the way, welcome to MB.

kk, you don't need professional guidance to to ask questions. He should be willing to answer each and every question you ask. Sorry you are here.

Do you have Surviving an Affair? If not, I would get that as fast as you can so you can build a program of recovery. Here are some links that might be helpful in the meantime. Please watch the video in the first link.

How to Survive Infidelity

Requirements for Recovery from an Affair

Thank you both for responding. I feel so alone. I am getting out right now and I will get this book when I am out. I called a good friend yesterday and told her and it did help me to know that I have someone I can share this with. Thanks again for the advice. I did ask more and she lives in a city 2 hrs away and they do not work together. I guess that is a good thing?????

kk

First off take a breath. You have to try to take care of yourself or you will end up in the hospital. Call your Dr and get on some ADs. They will take the edge off things so you may be able to stay clear headed. That's important. The calmer you are the better you can face this because this is a rollercoaster from h3ll and there are miles of it and the hills are treacherous. There is no quick way around it.

As Mel said there is no need to have a MC in the room in order to ask questions. This is your right. You should know EVERYTHING about the life you thought you were leading. Don't shy away from asking about what you need to know. And with that being said make sure what you ask is really what you need to know. The answers can haunt you. The details can be horrifically painful. Write your questions down, think on them and then ask in a calm fashion. Then hold on.

To R , he will have to go NC forever. He will also need to be open, honest and transparent. He needs to open up his life to you so you can begin to trust again. But you don't trust carelessly. He must earn it. Has he opened up his emails and phone records to you? Or anything else that you ask to question? If he doesn't, he is still hiding things. See usually when an A is discovered the WS tries to remain in C with the OP. They don't cut it off immediately. Sometimes they say that they have, they pretend to start to R the M and lo and behold the BS finds out that there has been C all along. It's a false R and it sets everything back to DDay and worse. So you really need to get your answers, expose to the OP's S if there is one and then verify EVERYTHING for some time to come. And if he is TRULY remorseful then he will have no problem with your questions and your need to verify. If he gets upset, that tells you A LOT!