I am sitting here reading these post's. I feel as if I am reading post's about me.

I am a Quality Engineer, and i have to tell ya, I really don't care about the job anymore, I have gotten so far behind, even if I wasn't in this stupid mode, I would have a hard time getting caught up. I just can't seem to think straight, I am always thinking of what went wrong, what I need to do, and a million other things all at the same time. Every thought only last's a split second and I am thinking of something else.

I fully understand what everyone is going through.

So, no, I don't think it is just you.

It is with concern that I read this thread. Concern for everyone who's posted here, for all the others who didn't, but would probably say the same things, and for myself.

While it's a relief to know it isn't just me who's lost my "edge," my light heart and my memory, it's disturbing to realize it's part of the infidelity deal for the BS. For a very long time, if not forever. I'd recognized other elements of PSTD in myself, but didn't see that this "fuzziness" was part of it. Nor that it was going to last, and last, and last. *sigh*

If I could work up the energy, I'd be mad at FWH again for this additional destruction, but I don't want to go there because he has truly become a wonderful husband, and our marriage is better than it's ever been. I don't think he could change these things that have happened in me anyway.

So instead of anger, I feel...sad.

Years and years of being a brain dead, not giving a chit, non achieving, clumbsy, accident prone half wit????

Ah hell