just curious if anyone ever thinks about what it would be like to be single again and what do you miss about it?

Don't think about it.

I've been married since 1973. I can't even remember single...

The first thing to go is the memory.

I forget what the second thing is...

Mark

nothing

We went to an MC, and I said, I don't like that my H travels to much, I would like him to find local work. The MC says, but you have a special gift, it's like being single again. You can take a long bath or read a book when you want to. And I said, I don't get you. My H doesn't get upset when I take baths and read books when I want to. To me, marriage is a freedom, to do the stuff you like the most, with your favorite partner.

Wow. Very dangerous question. What do you do with the answers?

There are things I like about being single, but they fall way short of what I like about being married. With much caution, I'd say one of the things (but not necessarily the top) would be having more control over the finances. However, I certainly wouldn't choice to have control over being married, and if I/We had learned to handle money better, then it wouldn't be something I miss. I see it as less of a reason to want be single and more of a sign of a possible problem area in the marriage...on that can be fixed.

I also think that if you're going to ask that questions of yourself, you should also ask what you don't like about being single, and what you do and don't like about being married. You'd get a much clearer picture that way.

I think about what it would be like to be single again...but this time, it's with four kids. I think about how much time I had when I was single, to do whatever I wanted, all I did was go to work; the house pretty much kept itself because I was rarely home, always out on the lake, or at some hot party, doing lunch with the girls, dating the guys who came up with the coolest things to do, calling my boss to request a week off, starting NOW, because I was invited to sloop around the Bahamas on a private boat...don't see any of that happening when it's me + four.

Do I miss that stuff? Sure, but not in a way that I think I want to repeat it. I did it already. I want to do new stuff now. Family stuff. I was all Me Me Me! and now I'm all Them Them Them!

Being married is hard work, but I think being a single mother of four would be harder. Besides, my H was my favorite date of all my single days. I knew it the first time I touched him...I did NOT want to pull my hand away. EVER.

So I guess the biggest thing I miss about being single is dating my husband.

Wonderful response! Of course you know, you made the MC look like an idiot.

Great marriages provide ALL the freedom you could ever hope for.

Mr. G

I hated being single. If my wife had gone ahead and left me four years ago, I'd probably be eating Dinty Moore out of a can right now.

I HATE being single.

I miss my family, the birthdays, holidays, vacations.

The only thing I really liked about being single, is when I cleaned the house, it stayed clean. It's frustrating to me now with a husband and two little boys that there's a constant tornado going through my house. But not so frustrating that I'd trade them for a clean house.

N O T H I N G

That is why i fought to keep my M intact.

I missed a lot about being single when I was married to B. I missed being able to be myself. I missed not having to worry all the time or give up what I wanted. I had a bad, bad marriage. Being single was MUCH better than being married. Being Divorced was MUCH better than be married.

Then, I found Mike. Mike and I lived together after he lost his job. We were already engaged, and it made sense from a job search perspective. We had almost a whole year together, and he really thought of us as being married. That was the BEST year of my life. Occassionally, I would be having complete say over where paintings were hung or plants planted, but really, I was so very happy. We had a great relationship.

I'm widowed now, which not at all like being single, and I miss having Mike here.

When your single (and no kids) you can be selfish - totally indulge in whatever you want whenever you want. M and kids change that but it's not a bad thing. People go through different stages in life. I really have no desire to go back to single stage. Been there - done that.

GG

Single? What's that? I left home at 18 to go to college. Married my DH at 19. I'm now 52. When my DH and I were separated I got a taste of "singleness" but I don't think it's the same as a person who "chooses" to be single. I hated it.