I have the love of my life (so I feel, she doesn't) in my grasp, but about 3 months ago, she found out that I was talking to a friend/co-worker, whom is female, late at night, and just this past weekend I was told that despite MY lack of consideration to tell my girlfriend, she told me that we are no longer a couple unless I can help her put closer on what she found out. My friend and I talked late at night, she is married, happily I might add, but we talked about everything from work, to her marriage, to my relationship with "my girl". I truly was seeking advice from my friend to help me with this relationship because I REALLY LOVE this lady.
However my girl doesn't see it like I do. She thinks something happened, phone sex, because I tried with my girl, also thinks we had an affair and I am really struggling with how to tell her that there was NOTHING more than seeking advice on how to treat, enjoy and grow with the girl I am dating.
So I need help in "convincing" my girlfriend that SHE is the only one I want in my life and love. I truly love this lady, but for the first time ever, I feel like I am NOT trusted, because I confided in another woman about her, and also talked about her life. I just moved to a new town, she was the first one I befriended and that is ALL it is, but I can't convince the lady I want so badly that it is nothing more than a friendship. I am NOT a home wrecker, but I need help making her understand my friendship with my co-worker
Any advice would be so wonderful! I Love this woman so much, but feel that I am fighting a battle to convince her that I am VERY sincere in my love for her because I confided in a female friend.
Please help...we're talking and having the first BIG talk early next week. God I hope someone can help me
Thank You in advance

By the way...I know it was lame that I confided in my friend and didn't tell my girl, and since we shared a cell phone plan it was easy for "my girl" to find that I had called my friend and she me...BUT I can't seem to tell her that I was friends with my friend before I met "my girl" and that I was ONLY seeking advise, as well as just simply being a friend. I NEED HELP...again, thank you in advance

I just want to ask you a question.

If you were married, and discovered that your wife was having late-night intimate phone calls with a male co-worker, would you think she was having an affair? At least an emotional one?

I think this 'friend' is having an EA with you, whether you believe it or not. If you want your girlfriend to believe that she's the only one for you, this Affair Partner has got to go.

Thank you for your comments canwemakeit.

The "friend" has already been gone...since the first part of November 08. I quickly told my friend that it can't be a friendship between us at all because of the conflict that I caused, (and yes I DID create this)

I admit and agree with your comment, because I would feel that way, as you pointed out...I would. That is why I am here for help, because I've clearly ended my friendship with the "friend" because I really want MY life to be with this woman/girlfriend!

The hard part of it is that the "old friend" and I work in the same office, not the same area, but the same office building.

I just don't know how to VERBALLY tell my girlfriend that there WAS nothing more than a friendship, and that NOW there is NO friendship with her

but your comments are exactly right, I WOULD feel like my girlfriend has, I would.

I just need help in verbally coming up with the words in which to ensure/promise/show/prove to my girlfriend that there is NO contact with the old friend.

My girlfriend wants to talk about it, and I want to talk about it, but I just don't know how to portrait to her that the friendship IS over and has BEEN over for nearly 3 months now. I ended it the very day AFTER I was "busted" and yes...I was busted

I need the verbal help I guess to ensure my girlfriend that SHE is the ONLY woman I want in my life. HOW DO I DO THAT???????????

WORDS don't mean anything. ACTIONS do. You already kept your nighttime conversations a secret from your girl, so I'm thinking from here on out, you have to be completely open. Cell phone records, emails, everything.

And it would go very, very far with me, and probably with her, if you looked into changing jobs or transferring. Every day when you go to work, she thinks, "I bet he talks to her today. They're probably having coffee right now. He's probably telling her how insecure I am, how sorry he is that I broke up their friendship. I wonder if they kissed. He kept their friendship from me, I wonder what else he kept from me. They might be having sex. I bet they're having sex! I bet everyone in that office KNOWS they're having sex, and they're all laughing at me for being such a fool. I'm an idiot. What am I thinking, continuing to have a relationship with this known liar. He obviously doesn't respect the boundaries of marriage. I must be out of my mind."

(just the ramblings of a woman's mind, lol)

I have thought those thoughts that you shared as well. As I said in my reply to you earlier, I can't say that I wouldn't be or feel the same way. In no way do I feel SHE is in the wrong, because I "allowed" this to happen.

UGHHHHHH...

It isn't hard for me to express myself to my girlfriend at all, I KNOW HOW I FEEL, I know who I AM and I know that I am NO cheater...even though as you said, I did...and I don't disagree with you...I cheated in a way for sure!

I guess I just dig in, try to explain WHAT it WAS...was being the key word. Maybe changing jobs would be right for sure, but wow it is hard to change that only because I make a good living and well I LOVE MY job while the friend hates HER job...wish I could just get HER out. But the friend is NOT my worry, repairing the trust with "my girl" is my ONLY focus

Thank You SO much for the woman's POV on this I just so hope I can fix it, or at least start down the road of repair to re-gain the trust of my girlfriend again.

Words aren't hard for me...but "CHOOSING the words correctly" is hard for me. I don't want to open the gaping wound further, I want to try and sew it shut...or at least slowly close the wound

Thank you so much :-)