Dear Blindsided,<P>I had an emotional affair that lasted a year with a long time friend. The feelings really became strong when we started clowning around on-line, we would send jokes back and forth and email, then we started making excuses to bump into each other, we finally admitted our feelings to each other but agreed that we should just be friends because we were committed to our own marriages. But the feelings were so strong and a few times we would be talking and ended up in each others arms kissing. Even as I type this I cant believe that it ever happened. I confessed to my husband in January (husband had taken me for granted for years)because I couldnt stand being deceptive and having my heart torn between two good men. The pain was unbelievable. We lost the friendship of this couple. Our respective spouses both felt devastated and I am still in withdrawal missing this OM even after 7 months. However, the good news is that my husband and I are slowly becoming closer and the years of tension and hurt have gone out of our relationship. I tried to distance myself from the OM once I realized what was happening, but I didnt tell my husband that I was struggling with an attraction and tried to stay friends. Once you fall for someone it is almost impossible to stop seeing them and obsessing over them unless you tell your spouse and ask for their help. Its a big risk on your part to be that vulnerable with your wife, but she loves you and even though her pride might be hurt she will help you see and appreciate your own marriage. <BR>