I am a recently divorce male. My now ex-wife and i had been separated for months i continuosly begged her to resolve our marriage she continued to say no. This went on for about six months. I had a co-worker of mine just started not really interested in her one day she asked for a ride home. In the process of taking her home she asked if we could hang out feeling lonely i said yes. The next part is where i fell emotionally she asked if we could go back to my place assuring nothing would happen. I said ok we got there and where just sitting in my room when she jump on me and processed to make a move at the point i did not know what to do. I became paralyzed not moving while she undid my pants. She then went in her handbag and pulled out a condom put it on while i stood still in shock she got on me and seconds into i realized that what was going on was wrong. During these months of separation i had in my mind the reason why my wife did not want to restore our marriage was because she was doing something and there i was doing the same thing. I stopped it, It only lasted a couple of seconds she asked what was wrong i told her that should not have happened. I took her home with in the next couple of days this young lady continued to call I finally one day confronted her and told her i wanted nothing to due with her earlier that day she had left me a message on my phone the following day my wife came over to talk. She said she had been thinking that she made a big mistake in separating and filing for divorce. I went to the restroom left my phone beside her when i got out she was crying and asked who this girl was leaving me message. I lied and said i did not know out of fear she then call the # a lets just say things got worst. They talked to each other and she told my wife how i had brought to our house and we had sex in our room. She also went on to tell her lies that we were dating and tried to say she stop everything which i told my wife what really happened that there was no relationship just a one time mistake. She did not want to hear what i had to say and on the 13th on January our divorce was finale we've been divorce for almost a month it is hard. I continue to call and she does talk to me but she now says she needs space not to call her too much and me call will only push her away. She keeps saying that she needs to live her life now but also say i need to change and she needs to see me change in the emotional state that i am in i keep thinking there is hope but i don't know she wont give me answer. Should I pursue her or just let everything go i don't want to be in another relationship. And i still very much so love my wife. What do i do

Welcome to MB. Glad you have found us.

How long were you married, and do you have children?

What do you think caused the divorce? What does your wife say?

Well thank you for the response. We had been married for almost three years we had children from previous relationships. Their were alot of things that caused our divorce namely by me i continously lied. For a period of time i was not workn i took her for granted so we finally separated. For months i begged her to take me back but in that time a didnt hear what she was saying i thought by begging her to come back she would then fold but she kept telling me she needed more. Feeling depressed i let my guards down and momentarly let someone else in. She now tells me that she needs space and time to heal, she also says i need to regain her trust. But in saying that she also says she needs to see actions not words because my words mean nothing. But the part that is worring she says she will not wait for me and if someone comes along she will allow it to happen. I can't picture her with anyone but me. So should i continue to purse her or let it go. Please respond

No children + short M + lying and cheating = usually best to walk away IMO.

Were you or your W M'd to other people when you met and started your relationship?