Good luck tomorrow. I will be praying for both of you.

LC

Ditto!

Mark

Crysalis

Sending peaceful, calming, caring thoughts your way today Chrysalis.

Wishing you peace....

.....Praying for you.

Ace

I don't think I've commented on your thread, but I've been following it. Wanted you to know I'm thinking about you today.

Thanks, everyone, for your kind thoughts.

Chewie has posted an update on his thread. We are still going through with the polygraph.

It would probably be a good thing for Chewie to continue to be in dialog with anybody who posts to him. And if you want to do me any kindness, please continue to post to him.

Dearest Chrys,

I too have never posted to you before. As A BW who discovered repeatedly that NC had been a complete facade, I know how this feels, and I am sending you much love from here in England.

Did you have any idea that the truth was anything like this?

Chrys-

I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am. I don't even know you and I'm angry for you. I flat out told him I think you ought to kick his arrogant [censored] to the curb.

That was just beyond nauseating.

Chrys,

I am sorry beyond words. Even hugs could not posssibly be enough, but if I could see you I would give them to you.



I am praying that he has told you all now. Do NOT let him wimp out on that NC letter.

I am praying that the men on here, especially tst and maybe lousygolfer, will be able to get through to him.

Blessings to you and your children.

He's still covering up some stuff .... prepare to be hurt again.

I'm so sorry.

Yep to Pep..

Chrys..I told ya he was sounding FOGGY...it was soooo leaking out in his posts...still is...

I'm so sorry, too...

Soooo sorry you have to go thru yet another D-Day..Prayers are with you this evening. I posted him a note with my "medical" perspective on this. I hope he feels like 7 kinds of a fool and I hope you make him live in the 7th level of He## for a while.
You know, the one reseved for betrayers. Hang tough, GF

My H came to the door of the motel room where I found them and claimed they were just TALKING...I don't get it..

You're in my prayers...

Thanks, all, for your kind words.

I believe in redemption, I really do.

But I am exhausted.

Chewie failed the portion of the polygraph having to do with the extent of physical contact (he had previously admitted to me that there was some early contact including fondling, etc.). The questions related to intercourse, oral sex, and whether he was lying about those things. The examiner (who, God knows, so wanted him to pass) talked with him, reformulated the questions after clarification, and asked again. He failed again. She showed me the charts. It was not ambiguous. I am neither stupid nor uneducated. I understand the high false pass/fail rate and I understand a fair amount about how credibility is proven, or not.

He had story that wasn't credible, a history of repeated lies, and a lot at stake. Whatever. He's busy feeling sorry for himself over the polygraph. Whatever.

Do I still think redemption is possible? Yes.

Am I sick to death of this charade? Yes.

Do I have a decision made? Nope.

I know I have been with this man for 30 years and that cutting him off is like amputating a limb (or worse). His body is an extension of mine. I hate being out of the same room as he is in. And I also know he has acted in a despicable manner and is completely unworthy of any relationship with me.

And that's all I know.

And if the affair was physical doesn't mean that there can't be RECOVERY. My H's affair was over two years long and was highly EMOTIONAL and PHYSICAL and we couldn't be happier today.

If Chewie is willing to do the work of Recovery, really repent and be open and honest with you, you can one day have a happy marriage...

I had been married it seemed like FOREVER, too, Chrys...

You'll make 6 decisions a day for the next three months, hon.

I am so sorry to hear this, Chrys. But I think most of us veterans could see it.

First off, toss aside the point of even thinking of not believing there was sex. Reality check.

Second....here is the lesson I'm learning, and I do think it applies to you.

I have to make it POSSIBLE for WW to tell me the truth. Quite literally, it is not right now. She does NOT want divorce, I have acted out in every way but physical violence, I haven't LET her have the opportunity to tell the truth.

Frankly, the way you were so hurt about the stupid email, which now looks so minor, I can totally understand Chewie not feeling he could confess his past. Remember Chris Rock about OJ? "I'm not saying it was right -- but I understand!"

You, know, SSS would laugh at her ever being a role model but look at her thread with her wayward Green Mile. They did some right things...GM came clean right away with the whole horrible tale, they got on anti-deps, they got going with emergency Harley phone counseling, etc

Anyway, it is all about where I am at for you guys too -- honesty. You are going to have to coax the truth out with care than rip it out with tongs. You won't get the real story that way.

Trust the man who knows.

Hang in there..

Mike

PS: Scratch above. I just read his last post. Toss him out, arrogant j3rk. He thinks he is still going to play you.

He's still lying.

I'll never forget when PEP told me the same about my H...

I didn't want to believe her..

She was absolutely RIGHT..

THANKS AGAIN, PEP...

That's what it looks like to me...

Mark