So not only personal suicide but professional suicide as well...BTDT. Too stupid!

If OW wants to go screaming at HR, let her. My OW told me the same and I told her go right ahead...if FWH got written up or fired that's his stupid fault but that I couldn't wait until everyone in the company knew what a tramp she was. Plus since I knew all sorts of sorid details of the A and her pre-A life that it would be my pleasure to spread the word just how pathetic she is.

All I heard was crickets chirping after that.

She is scared you are going to expose.

OW BH deserves to know now what has been happening in his life.

I know about dem boils...

Mine almost killed me.

Left alone they do NOT heal. The infection spreads and the wound becomes even bigger. Only solution? Cut away all the diseased tissue and kill the infection.

Then REAL healing can begin.

It might take a couple of surgeries.

Mark

Well Chewie is looking pretty beat up and has been spending the day in the same room with me. He has started to put his resume together and we are looking into 401k withdrawals.
He has talked with me some about his thinking... remorseful, reflective, how did I become this person kind of stuff. No drama. Just very quiet and serious.
He has a meeting at 3 tomorrow with our old pastor. He told DS14 tonight that we would both be gone tomorrow afternoon, so I don't know what he is thinking about that.....
We need an open door and a neon sign to direct us where to go, if anyone is inclined to pray. Fast.

Chrys,
A lot of people will be praying for you I'm sure. I'll pray for your husband that he will truly repent and surrender everything to God, I'll pray that God will change his heart, that He will give him an undivided heart and put a new spirit in him. Eze 11:19



Angie

Hi,
Chrys,
I am inexperienced in Affairs of this length. But it sure does seem that a key reason he is denying the physical aspect of the affair is that he is protecting his OW from exposure. His statement in his first no contact letter about him being the key promoter (I forget the exact word he used) of the affair points directly to his concern about how exposure would affect her. I know from reading this thread that you apparently did not expose last time.

He is still protecting her. He is not commited to re-building the Marriage. I'm sure you know this, but it seems so key to me.

He wrote this in the NC letter to let OW know to stick with their story that it wasn't a PA.

Hi Chrys

This is my first post to you, Ive read through your thread just now.

What Lake just said also hit my radar as well. I read where, in one of the OW's emails to your H awhile back, it started with "While this affair has never gone physical" kind of thing. It struck me as contrived, an unnecessary disclaimer. It was odd and out of place. It seemed deliberate .

In your H's NC letter to the OW, he carried this theme over as well. It just is so obvious that they are protecting each other. There has been such a ridiculous emphasis on there NOT being a PA that, polygraphy results aside, it has had the effect of a GIANT neon sign saying "We are having a PA".

It sounds as if your H is in damage control mode. He is trying to hold it together long enough to lull you into false security.

Again.

Im so sorry for what you have been through. I read your story and my heart just breaks.

Im going to say this as gently as possible as it is meant with a great deal of goodwill, but Why do you think that you dont deserve better than this?

understood about the language choices. Got it.

We are in the gallows humor phase this morning. Still pretty much being each other's shadows.

Chewie remarked it would serve him right for him to leave his job, move us someplace cold and dark, and for me then to decide I couldn't do it.

I came up with a list of cold, dark places we could start looking.

And then I told him my line of thinking is that next, one of us will get a terminal illness. He thought it should be him.

The sun did peek out so we are going to walk the dog at some point before going to see our old pastor.

He's still reading that book I gave him and doing some reflecting and talking about the choices he made early on that should have been different. He is beginning to be appalled at what he has done.

I'm not feeling very much but when I do I LB.

Chrys -

The house across the street is for sale...

Just sayin'...

((((Chrys))))

I think the Antarctic is currently looking for medical staff.......

If he should leave the practice in which he now works, I can just imagine the letter to his patients:

I am leaving this practice and relocating to some cold, dark place so that I can work on my marriage which I strayed from by having a 5 year long emotional affair - never a physical affair. I will be practicing in this cold, dark place assuming my wife does not have me tarred and feathered first.

I think that sounds every bit as logical as a letter I got from one of my doctors:

I am leaving the practice of medicine to focus my attention on developing some unique intellectual projects involving some really unintelligible stuff about nerves and to spend more time writing songs which is part of why I relocated to this city.

If you don't want cold and dark, how about blazing hot in the Middle East where if you touch another man's W they will cut his one eyed friend off?

Chrys, I'm sorry, but I'm not buying it.

I believe he IS appalled, but only appalled at the fact that he wasn't smart enough to continue working around all the EP's. Appalled that he slipped up on the photo e-mail and got caught. I believe he's thinking, "It was just a simple fricken photo e-mail and my own carelessness has caused everything to completely unravel".

I sense that you are staying in the M and I'm sure your H sense's this as well. Because of this, he is going to pull you down the slippery slopes again and again.

NC has been a bust. Agreed to it, but never intended to continue!

EP's have been a bust. Agreed to it, but never intended to continue!

What else can he do to make you feel safe? He reluctantly agrees to everything you ask but, but never really intends to continue.

I don't think anything he does will make you feel safe again.

I really am so sad for you, and I have been praying for you and your's.

May God hold you tight and may HE make you feel safe in His care and protection.

That is exactly what I think and I also agree that all the mentions of EA only blah blah are pure and simple damage control and getting stories straight.

Sheesh, for a smart doc........... :RollieEyes:

Just because i think you need it &

SC

Heck, I'm still amazed that he's hanging on to it was 5 yr EA.

tst,

I for one didn't believe it when you began to repent. Yet.....

I am curious. What turned you around?

Hey, Chrys! How about a nice, WARM place on the southeastern coast? I'd be happy to help ya househunt--some real bargains at the moment.

Following your story (and chewie's) and praying you will have deep peace, however your story ends.

Hugs to you. You are one incredible woman.

Right Here Waiting

It IS currently summer there. One of my guys was there this time last year studying the polar ice.

I hesitate to reside anywhere that makes the wine freeze in your glass during the summer months.