Hi, I am frustrated reading GreenMiles posts. He is not trying very hard to do a postnup agreement. I ask all you BS's here.

If your spouse cheated on you for 20 years and blew your money on sex and supporting other women, and then wanted to make it up to you somehow, would you REFUSE A CHECK FOR $400,000.00????

As a token gift to show that they wanted to restore the marriage with you?

If it was an attempt to restore the M, you betcha.

If it was an attempt to buy me off, you betcha....

If it was something that sold my soul.... NO WAY

Only for a second.

I don't know the specific situation, we all have what makes us enthusiastic.

But for me, I think I'd be glad I kept my day job.

If I was in plan FU I'd take it, but if I was trying to restore the M then no.

If my wife offered me 400K I'd have only two questions...

Where the HELL did you get 400K?

And why have I been eating peanut butter all week for lunch?

Mark

THE MONEY IS NOT THE POINT!

Please Stellakat. He has made one attempt and got the refusal from that lawyer just yesterday. How much harder can he try? He has already gotten 2 more names of lawyers who may be more likely to do it. They each cost a good deal of money just to talk to so doing more than one at once is not only stupid but wasteful. He is trying but the most important point is that it is not the money but the commitment he is making to me by putting all of our savings in my hands alone showing his trust in me and his commitment to me to stay faithful.

Believer has a thread about this and today SexyMammaBear posted to it and what she said is exactly what this is about. It will not be accomplished yesterday, not too many are aware of a post nup at all.

I say TAKE THE MONEY.....

Put it in an account or mutual funds, or whatever. Use it as insurance of yourself and children so that you know that you'll always be taken care of.

SSS, tst and I took a beating here when we were working on our post-nup.

We had few supporters, and it was a big controversy then (how much is too much, how much is too little, should it even be done, etc.)

Most people here will not GET what you and I understand about this. That's OK. Most people are so fixated on the money that they miss the whole meaning behind the action.

We had a couple strong supporters (sadly, one of which is no longer posting here). These few people told us over and over to stay focused, eyes forward. These were the same people who had been "at my side" here throughout tst's affair. So we listened to them and did not get sidetracked with these discussions. We stayed focused and did what was in the best interest of our marriage.


P.S. Make sure YOU hire the attorney, otherwise, you will continue to run into the same problem you did with this last one. YOU must be the client, not GM.

Sad, so sorry. I responded in jest without bothering to check out the thread in question. It's easy to say yes to a question like that when you don't know all the qualifers.

If they were to divorce, it would be split 50/50 most likely. It's still community property.

A post-nup is a much better alternative to reaching what sss & GM's desired purpose is. Rebuilding their marriage.

Thank you. After I started getting used to the idea, all because of what you and tst had posted about it, I asked Steve Harley about it. He is all for it, in fact he was the one that suggested to me that it be retroactive as well. I figure that if he supports the idea (did it come from them originally?) then I had better at least try to understand it. Once I did I was totally comfortable with it. It is all the things you said in your post on Believers thread and it has really made us both look at each other in an entirely different way and it is a good way. If I could actually identify it right now I would but I have not quite figured it out yet. It is a layer of trust and that is something I lack totally. Perhaps this first new layer will make trusting (but guarding for a time) easier.

Oh princessmeggy it is OK. A little humor is a good thing around here no? I can be a real smart *** so I never worry about the humor. All is good. :-)

I got the idea from a dear friend from here, MEDC. He's not here any longer He had been on my long thread pretty much from Day 1, so he knew my entire story.

When tst came home, he had already agreed to a post-nup. I think tst mentioned it to Jennifer during counseling and she had no issues with it. Can't really remember the conversation now. Alot of that time is very hazy for me today.

I'm glad to hear Steve's stance on it, too.







Yes, it is a layer of trust. That's how recovery works. Layer upon layer upon layer upon layer.

Trust earned...not gifted.

Hi there, I see your point Sadsosad. But when I got my prenup I intervied 3 attorneys and ended up going with a woman attorney who charged me $450.00 for a 20 page prenup.

A postnup agreement would not be much more than that to do. I had it written and paid the legal fee and then, before we got married, my husband had to have his own attorney look it over. So there ended up being four signatures on each copy (4 copies) of the prenup. Mine, my husband's, his attorney, my attorney. IT was really easy.

I give you a CHALLENGE for the next week:

YOU CALL 10 ATTORNEYS AND SEE IF YOU CAN GET THIS POST NUP AGREEMENT DONE FOR $500.00 OR LESS. THEN, NAIL OUT HOW YOU WANT THE AGREEMENT TO READ. THEN LET GREENMILE SHOW IT TO HIS ATTORNEY. YOU SIGN, GREENMILE SIGNS, HIS ATTORNEY SIGNS AND YOUR ATTORNEY SIGNS.

Take control of this part, honey. I believe you can handle this and handle it WELL!!!! I believe in YOU!

SMB

Why did medc leave MB?

Pre-nups are easier to enforce than post-nups. I imagine the conflict arises when a post-nup conflicts with statutory laws (after a couple have been legally married for some time) and one party contests it. There's all kinds of arguments that can be made against them.

I guess a post-nup is more or less writing out the meat of your divorce decree before a divorce is ever filed. It'd be really hard to fight FOR one... because obviously with a divorce, there's been a change of heart.

Thanks for clarifying it. That is why the second option would be for him to give her the money perhaps with a legal document.

Maybe 100% of what Greenmile owns is not much!!! If we are talking 200K equity in the home and 100K in accounts, and maybe that is most of it, then big fat deal.

And also where is MEDC. He was so insightful.

I heard something about banned camp.

I sure miss his perspective around here though.