What was the final catalyst that made you end your affair? I think that's a very valid question that might help us all to remember why we never want to feel that way again.

You start.

I don't think my reason will be very helpful. I stopped because I was dumped by the OM.

However, I am now in a fully recovered marriage and the A was 7 years ago.

I ended the A for several reasons. I was a nervous wreck, I started catching FOM in lies and mostly because I did not like being #2.

LC

MikeC2:

KiwiJ beat me to it!

I couldn't stand seeing the pain that I was causing my husband and children (and even our 2 cats....they missed me when I was gone). Our pastor's messages were continuously about relationships for a while (I could swear that he wrote them to get to me!) and I'll never forget when he read Eph. 4:30 - Do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you life. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. That stuck and I'll never forget it. Our church is extremely small and very personal. All of us have come through some extremely hard struggles from past drug abuse to criminal history. Pastor Chris is a recovered alcoholic and he NEVER gives up on is church. Ever.

While FOM and I were supposedly trying to get back to being friends, what did it for certain was when FOM's BW found out and FOM texted me we had to be NC forever. While I wanted so badly to contact him and say WTF?, I had already lost so much dignity and all integrity. I died inside and stayed that way for a few months, but I felt the least I could do for BW was to leave them alone.

And I have. Now not just for BW, but for myself and my H.

There was a moment a few weeks before that opened my eyes that I would always be #2 and that hurt deeply. And at that moment I became aware of how messed up the whole thing was, but as much as I'd like to think the split would have been mutual, technically, I'm like KiwiJ. H jumped ahead and I was dumped.

Sparky...

I don't mind answering the question really, but I'm curious, what do you hope to gain with this thread?

See in my opinion, it doesn't matter much how the affair ended, only that it did end, kwim?

But I'll be a good sport and answer...My affair began between Feb/March '05 & ended June '05 - long distance affair...Mr. W busted me - I was acting like a total loon, so it was pretty obvious that something was up...OM was my ex high school/college bf...I exposed the affair to my mom when she kept asking what was going on w/ me...She was FURIOUS with me...She called Mr. W and he and she conspired and hatched a plan for her to call OM and let him have it - this made the most sense because she knew him since we had grown up together...She threatened him to w/i an inch of his life and since he knew her, it worked, he believed everything she said...He dumped me the next day w/o telling me why...that was one of my mom's stipulations lest she unleash the hounds of hell on him...I did not find out that information until about a year and a half after the affair ended...I will be forever grateful to Mr. W and my mom for their most excellent handiwork in saving me and our family from ME!

Mrs. W

Mrs. W,

My coworker (who is a BS) asked me that question because her H is still on the run. She wanted to know what the pivotal moment was for me to sort of gain some possible insight into what's going on in her H's head and what it might take to bring him back.

I told her it's different for everyone, but after I said that I kind of wondered how it happened for other people.

Ah, gotcha...Exposure is her best bet...That is the most powerful tool in a BS's a r s e n a l...Has she exposed his affair yet?

Mrs. W

Actually, I did. I caught him with the OW at the grocery store and I called her as soon as I left the parking lot. Us waywards can be pretty cool sometimes.

Mrs W I was SHOCKED you used a word that was censored. (j/k)



Then when I was about to quote it I saw what the word was and THAT really made me

Why in the name of GOD would arsanel (spelled incorrectly to avoid censors) be censored??????????

Because the word *rse is a rude word lol. It is in my neck of the woods anyway. Not a terribly rude word - more a vulgar word.

Just those four letters on their own - fair enough, but add a few letters and you have a new word! Think the mods should have a look at the censors

If the mods allow that, what's next....the Blue Footed Booby? It'll be A MUTANY!!

ok, I will answer for the OW in my H's affair: "my affair ended because MelodyLane told me it was over."

Okay, that is GREAT that you told the BS, but that is not the kind of exposure that I was referring to...I meant has she exposed his affair to his family, her family, the OWH and family...If it's a workplace affair, has she exposed there? See, there must be pressure put on the affair in order for it to end...Affairs thrive in darkness and crumble in the light of day...What has she done towards shining the light on what the infidels are doing?

Mrs. W

P.S. I am sooooooo LMAO that a r s e n a l gets censored! I fixed it now! That board auto-censor is CRAZY!!!

ML's H's OW also said: "She told me this while waving a gun around maniacally, with a glint in her eye that said she'd surely be poppin' a cap in my [word that gets censored] if I didn't mind her! She is VERY MEAN like that!" :teef:

Mrs. W

I forgot to leave my pistol in da car, MrsW!

well I would've liked to say because it was wrong.. knew that didn't care.. because it was hurting my H .. that was the point ..nope ...... even for my family ... but no

We got caught by his wife