Just when I thought I was getting my act together and moving forward...

Pharmacy calls today to tell me they can't renew the Rx for the sleeping medication. So I log on to the insurance website tonight and find out that Ex-WS has cancelled my insurance and added HIS NEWBORN (DOB 11/30/08) SON :MrEEk: to the policy!!! It felt like it was D Day all over again.

Called my friend who is my intermediary and she had no clue.

I know I need to sleep tonight and be alert and on the ball tomorrow, but I really wish I could crawl into a little hole.

LA!!!

I'm so sorry.

OMG I'm so sorry!!!

What a slimeball he is, for letting you find out that way!

Have you called your lawyer, there may be something you could do about being on his insurance. I know that isn't the worst part of it though...

*hugs*

Oh LA, that's AWFUL news... I am soooo sorry. What a jerk!

So, he's a jerk. That's nothing new. What does your decree say about insurance?

My x never told me he was getting married. The children did. Didn't change his jerk-ness.

Just deal with the insurance. It's not the baby's fault he has a jerk for a father. Just deal with the insurance.

Focus on the insurance.

The jerk-ness was established. This man is a former part of your life.

Just deal with the insurance. OK....let the rest go.

Focus on the insurance.

Excuse me for asking but.....is there any reason why he would have his ex W on the policy and not his newborn Son?

I was not implying he is a jerk because he had listed his son. He is a jerk because he had an affair, he didn't work on his marriage, he didn't disclose the insurance change?

That was one thing definitely covered in my decree.

Cind,

I totally agree he is a jerk for having the A! I was responding to LA...

It was in the decree that I would have insurance for 1 yr past the date of the divorce. D was final in October. No I have no insurance. I am a bit annoyed. Today, the whole baby thing doesn't even bother me. My friends and family on the other hand...my mom's head nearly exploded last night. My other 2 friends were ready to drive to Tucson. I have quite the posse for when I do go to Tucson to retrieve my belongings out of the storage unit.

Trust me I had to refrain from writing him a very long email today.


Sunny girl i will cal you in a few.

You'd better make sure that flim-flam man gets you back on that insurance!! What a maroon!! Make sure your attorney takes him to task for it!!

Charlotte

(Sunshine Girl) Your most recent discovery must have been a bit of a shock but it explains why he just ran away and never attempted to turn things around. An OC adds a great deal to the dynamics of an affair.

Cinders is right - just focus on the things YOU need. The baby alters his life, not yours. Blessings, TT

BTW, when you go to collect your belongings from Tucson, make sure you look completely fabulous. Can you hire a hunk to help you lift the heavy boxes?

I believe I'd send him a certified letter reminding him - or have your attorney do it. That fellow is probably in contempt of court....which might be a LB if he is still w/ ow.

I went to Tucson today with a good friend and I picked up my stuff. Sorted through some things and "accidently" I stepped on his Chicago Cubs tree ornament. I have no idea how it happened.

I am also short 1 quilt and 1 marriage license. When I tried to communicate with him he would not take my calls. Homewrecker would only text msg. My friend finally got through to them via phone and explained what I was missing and he says he has no idea. I am a bit peeved. I called and left a message for my atty and also left a message for my intermediary. She called me back and was highly annoyed. Especially when I read the last txt msg to her that said...."Just get your $hit and leave town." This came from the Homewrecker. I am beyond angry.

My friend did say she heard the baby crying in the background. I really hope that kid has colic til he's 10.

And for some reason, his HS yearbook and basic training year book got put in with my stuff. I have no idea how...

So we will see what the atty says on Monday.

Oh LA,

Just when you think that a WH can't hurt you, they reach a new low....

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{LA}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

From when I first met you, you seem to be doing so much better..... I know how tough it is......

I have decided that it's probably best that I don't leave the greater LA area for a long time. That drive back from AZ was hard. Brings back too many memories. I spend the entire drive rethinking everything. Trying to think of the exact moment that I messed up and made him fall out of love with me. It stinks. My whole body aches again. I'm tired of crying. Everybody said I would feel different and better after one year. So not true. Some good days, bad days and then really, really bad days.

LAS,

For some reason I looked at your thread today. TT is right, an OC changes the entire A dynamic. It is possible the A would have died or your plan A would have had a greater effect if the pregnancy was not a factor. The OC strung my H's A out far longer than it ever should have. OW will shamelessly use the OC as bait. (((LAS))) Don't beat yourself up too much. You have a good life ahead of you.

LAS,

I don't believe I have ever posted to you before, but I have been reading your thread from the beginning. I have cried and laughed with you and marveled at how WELL you have been doing. You are impressive and I hope you will see yourself that way again soon.

After this recent turn of events, I wanted SOOOO badly to post to you.

You need to remind yourself of several things.

1) When you found out about the OC, it WAS another D-Day. It was not LIKE another D-Day, it was not "as bad" as D-Day, it was indeed ANOTHER D-Day. You found out information about YOUR life. information that DIRECTLY affects YOUR life, and you found out it had been happening in YOUR life almost the ENTIRE time you had been struggling to recover YOUR marriage.

2)You don't feel good after a year BECAUSE you have had another D-DAY.....AND.....your POSXH has put you in the position of being without insurance(despite his COURT ORDER)and FORCED you to seek legal action to remedy this situation(by the way, make sure that your attorney plans to seek the legal fees from your POSXH because it is HIS action that has brought about the new situation, not YOUR actions).

3) Your XH is very much a POS. Please excuse my language, but I am ASTOUNDED at how BADLY he has behaved, even GIVEN that he IS
a foggy WS. Sunshine girl, he is NOT a man. He CHEATED, then didn't even have the GUTS to tell you an OC was on the way, THEN dropped you illegally from his his insurance without the GUTS to tell you. I am gagging as I write this. He needs to lose more than a stupid Christmas ornament.

4) YOU DID NOT MAKE HIM FALL OUT OF LOVE WITH YOU. Repeat that to yourself 10,000,000 times. He had horrific boundaries, he wasn't MAN ENOUGH to tell you what he was unhappy about, and then he wasn't man enough to tell you that there was an OC. He cheated. NOT YOUR FAULT. NOT YOUR FAULT. NOT YOUR FAULT.

I think back now to why he got out of the service, why he did not get deployed, why he so completely cut himself off from you. It all makes sense. He is SUCH a jerk.

You on the other hand are loyal, beautiful, smart, gifted and FUN. Now he gets to spend HIS life with a cheater. AND you remember don't you, that affair relationships seldom go the distance. So when THIS relationship is over, he now has a CHILD to tie him to the POSOW FOREVER. Karma.

Be good to yourself Sunshine. You will feel better again. You are reeling from the shock of it all. Keep posting and let your friends be there for you.

Blessings to you,
WH2LE

I went to my chiropractor this evening after work and told him the latest update. He was just blown away. He is one of my biggest cheerleaders. He's always so positive and tries to keep me positive. I'm trying...

My New Years Resolution for 2009 is to go one day without crying about this whole mess. Out of 13 days I've done it once. Maybe next week will be better.

I'm going to make myself go to bed early. The extra sleep can only help.

So I had a job. It was supposed to be a 90 day contract. Well today at 2 the temp agency calls me and tells me that they terminated my contact! WTH?? Their reasons were that I was making too many errors. My error rate was too high. Just the previous day the team leader was telling me to increase the number of files I was working on and get more up to speed. So I did that. I gave myself hourly goals to achieve. Obviously not enough. Honestly, I hated the job and I hated the company. It was monotonous work and it was so boring. But it was a job. The temp agency said they were working on finding me something else asap. It was a real let down for me. I've never been let go from a job. I keep trying to do positive things and be positive and smile and act happy. This just stinks. I really wish something easy and simple would happen.

Had to take the anxiety medication today. I haven't taken it in over a month. Now today, I needed it.

I just need something to go simple and easy for once.

So frustrating.

And what would've been my 18th wedding anniversary is this weekend. Don't get married on Valentines Day. You think about it every holiday.