I am new to the site, however, I have little contact with my husband since he left over 7 months ago. when he does call, it is because he wont's something for our files. He has said that he does not want the marriage, however, he manages to continue to want something here and there. He called Saturday night around 9:00 wanting some paperwork from our files.

what is the deal, why cant' he say he wants to talk, or come back home. He just plays these games, and it feels like mental hell. He said at one time that we could work on the marriage, but he continues to keep his distance.

will he get through the fog, and come to his senses? It's as though he can not face me. He would rather move on than deal clean up this mess, and face his wrongs, he acts as if it does not matter, and my feelings are not important.

Hi Sunshine,

Keep on your last file so that we don't have to run around looking for the back info.

Listen: What has happened to you right now is you are terrified to annoy your husband by any positive action.

You need to rebuild you so that you can handle things on your own. Until you do this you will continue to be an annoyance to WH. Fix yourself before driving WH further away.

If you are better, send nice texts. Right now I think WH is teed off with you and is happy to stay out of your way.

Read carefully the carrot and stick approach of plan A.

I am trying to stay strong, and have no contact. but my car stopped on me and I needed some help. I called him and he was in class. He did say that he would call me and check on me later. which he did, he left a message on my voice mail, and wanted me to call him back to make sure I was not stranded. I did that, told him I was home and that my car needed a tune-up. I kept it short. I have not heard from him since. Just need encouragement.

Good job S. Great if you can praise him with appreciation for his work.

Nice if you can text him little funny texts every second day. We have a thread here called "The ROFLMAO Thread". Use it.

sometimes it takes me a minute, how do i find the roflmao thread. Also, if the plan is n/c then why would i text every two days.

Is your PLAN to have no further contact with your husband?

Or do you want to save your marriage?

If the former, file for divorce and move on.

If the latter, how will you do that if you don't have any contact with him?

Are you trying to save your marriage?

Are you supposed to be in Plan B?

I'll have to read your back-story, I guess. Sorry it can't be tonight as I have a date with my wife...

Mark

I am trying to save my marriage! He left 7 months ago, got his own apartment. At first we were talking and he was justifying his actions, by saying that he was not happy, and that our life was a fantasy. We continue to stay in contact by phone. If I dont' call him after a few days he call me, still very angry and upset. The communication has been intense on his part. He has continued to blame me for our marriage problems. He cheated. and was smoking marj, and our cell phone records show frequent calls back and forth with a specific number. I ask him about it, the next day he moved out while I was away. He was gone a few days, not answering his phone. He came back while I was at work to get some of his things, and I had changed to locks. He really got angry, and said that if I wanted to work on things I would not changed the locks. Now he has a good reason to stay gone. he says that I am not compromising. He has been very depressed, I beleive that he is still smoking, and maybe using other substances.

We have no children together, but 3 between us, all grown and out of the house. We are still married, and he has talked breifly about working things out, but lately he will call and leave a message saying he needs some paperwork, and does not followup about what he originally ask for. Last contact, my car was regarding the car.

I did text him earlier today no reply.

I am hurting and depressed and need some advice!