http://writer840.blogspot.com

This is my story. I am the husband. Looking for some advice.

Personally I immediately felt bad for your wife. She's not a child, she's an adult. I highly suggest you explain in plain English what your problem is. Do you want to save your marriage or "move" people? Start there and move forward.

Thanks for advice tc.

I was married for 8 years. No kids. My wife left 6 months ago. She thinks I am a control freak. I dont think I am but thats a moot point. I tried begging and pleading for 4 months. She was very firm. She can be extremely stubborn.

Last one month I spent in anger. I hated what a mess my life has become. Partly I blamed it on her... partly on myself. It is very difficult to forgive oneself and it is equally difficult to forgive her after the steps she has taken.

She wasnt even interested in counseling. Her parents were very interfering and me and my father-in-law pretty much dislike each other. I always had a well paying job, but if I try to save up, he and my wife think I am a miser. Hundreds of other small issues.

Anyways, the reality is I am lost. I dont know what to do. I am scared to live life alone and get over this trauma. It might take me years. At the same time, I am scared to even think of getting back with her... she has filled me with anger and frustration and humiliation... though I still might have some feelings for her.

I am torn.

Ok, so you have an arranged marriage and a WAW (Walk Away Wife) who's parents dislike you. That's tough Shane but this isn't over by a long shot if you want to try and salvage your relationship. Has your wife filed for divorce yet? Are you still in contact with her on a regular basis?

The short of it is your wife has fallen out of love with you for one reason or another (controlling, money issues, etc) Western society has almost uniformly accepted this idea that love is a feeling, something you cannot change and you either have it or you don't. The nice thing about the MB program is that it clearly defines love as an action. Your wife can love you again if you eliminate Love Busters (LBs)and meet her Emotional Needs (ENs). Love busters are those nasty things that make her fall out of love with you and ENs are the things you do for her that build love. Make sense so far? Really, this fits into the concept of arranged marriages quite nicely.

Here is a link to the Basic Concepts of the MB program; you need to read and understand them very well:

Basic Concepts

Any chance your wife is having an affair? Have you checked your cell phone bills, her e-mail, etc? It's just a thought, its good to rule out unfaithfulness so you know what you're dealing with in its entirety.

Shane, the choice is yours. You have no children with your wife so barring any cultural/religious aversions to divorce, you're free to do as you please. All you have with your wife at this point is history. You just have to decide what that's worth to you. Regardless, I highly recommend you read and understand what Marriage Builders is, if you buy into the concepts, it will help you in any relationships you might have in the future with your wife or someone else. Good luck and please fill in the blanks a bit more about where you're currently at in your relationship today, if you want to that is.

T

do you have a private email. our stories are almost exactly the same

yes, shanew420@yahoo.com

Can you give us specific examples? I can't tell if you are a control freak or not.

this is the quote of a child . . why can't you live alone? what are you afraid of? why are you not independent enough to take care of yourself? only a child is afraid to live life alone. . or a domination control freak who needs a maid and a mommy. . .

please answer the questions or you are a troll. . .

wiffty