Hello guys I have lurked here for along time. I longed in once back when it first happened but do not even remember the login name. I will try to make the background short. Married 7 years and two young kids. My husband began an affair with an 18 year old girl (he is 28)and walked out on me and kids in July of 2007. I guess its been a plan b because he never would have any contact with us, totally walked out. Definetly a romantic affair. His whole personality changed, he demonized me and "in love" with girl and nothing to do with kids. Its been a nightmare. Lots more drama but I won't go into it now. The final divorce will be within the month and I have had contact some with him by text and his stepmom. Well here is my question about inlaws. Anybody else have horror stories? I feel so alone. His parents are very young his stepmom is only 11 years older than my ex and his dad was 18 when he was born. Anyway when we first split I found out my ex husbands parents are very good friends with this teenagers parents. They get together and socialize or party. I recently found pictures on the internet of their partys. His parents from the beginning have enabled and encouraged the affair, child abandonment, you name it. God it hurts cause I expected more from them. And they may someday be around my kid it scares me so much. All the years we were married my husband rarely had much to do with his father and stepmom and when DDay happened its been like the twilight zone ever since. My ex comes from a background himself of his mother and father never being around, they would let others take care of him and siblings and I know the courts were involved for all the issues. I gave up hope long ago but it still hurts so much that someone can change so drastic after entering a romantic affair.

My FIL and his W have been enabling WW and I will agree...it sucks.

Have you ever said anything to them? I finally let it all out of my system tonight to his stepmom and I guess I can't sleep now. They just don't get it at all.

Yes. They just cant seem to get it through their heads that it is WW they are speaking to instead of W. They bought into it hook, line and sinker.

Hey SM,

Sounds like you are better off without these toxic people in your life. I speak from experience!

Yes, my STBXH's mother has always enabled all things BAD that my STBXH has done, all his life. Now, to be fair, for the 12 yrs we've been together I've also been quite the enabler. That didn't make it any easier though when I finally "got it" that his mother (of whom I've NEVER been a fan) told me last year during our 10 month separation, "I support my son, right or wrong..." This was in an email in which she was 'telling me off' for alerting the family that he'd walked out on & was refusing to support his children! Then there was the, "but he says he's NOT an alcoholic!!" Bwaaahahahahaa

I'm going to miss her...NOT!

Foolishly when STBXH & I first separated in 2008 I actually thought his mother might be some help - to him, to me & the kids - something. I was wrong. I did have the chance to "let her have it" one brisk morning when she showed up at my door. I just happened to be sitting at my computer filling out LSA paperwork and who comes a knockin'!?!? I don't believe in coincedences so obviously it was her TIME to hear me tell her EXACTLY what was going on & what her son REALLY was doing. Surely it fell on deaf ears.

Now, I find peace in that I'm living the very best way I know how. They can all be crazy together - STBXH, his mother & his sister. Discuss how awful I am over drinks, hold delusional get-togethers, do what you like. My kids are too smart to be sucked in so I don't have to worry about that, fortunately.

With any luck, your children will not have to subjected to WH, skankho, and their messed up families very much. How much visitation does your stbxWH have with the children?

SM, unfortunately many parents don't give a damn about their kids. It is much easier to just say inane things like "I just want him to be happy!" :RollieEyes: [thank God he is not a serial killer ] than to step up to the plate and act like a parent.

Some folks only care about themselves in this selfish, dysfunctional society and would rather be LIKED than take a risk for a loved one and confront their bad behavior. Why should they put themselves out for their kid when they don't give a damn? Too much trouble. These are the kind of parents who would hand a suicide a gun just to be liked.

Much easier to just hide behind mindless bumper stickers.

I know FORMER waywards on this very forum whose parents were instrumental in getting them off the affair track because they cared enough to put a foot in the WS's behind. A parent who cares about his child will not help that child be BAD, because he loves her too much.

Oh he never wants to see them. Two christmas' have gone by and birthdays. But, thanks to his stepmom, he requested some visitation in the divorce agreement. We will be going to mediation soon. Fortunetly, he is okay with me having complete custoday.

His stepmom wants to see my kids when its convenient for her using him I guess as a legal way, so he is asking for "himself". But its scary for kids to be around my ex, his teenage girlfriend, her young parents (her dad is just 10 years older than my ex) and ex's parents. They have no morals, no values. I am not sure how its going to pan out. I just keep praying to God to help me and the kids every day.