I just came back from 15 months in Iraq and had D-Day x 3. My first D-Day was in April 2005 when I first found out she had been cheating while I was stationed overseas. D-Day #2 was in July 2005 when I found out she had been cheating long before I ever went overseas. This time is D-Day # 3 when I found out she had gone back to chatting with one of the first men she cheated on me with. This one never moved back to a physical affair, but she resumed talking to someone after over three years of no contact. She first started chatting in 2002, moved to physical affairs in 2004 and we reconciled in 2005.

Since 2005 she has been in therapy and is on multiple medications for depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, and bipolarism. She has repeatedly been financially irresponsible, and has gained back almost all the weight she lost after having gastric bypass surgery.

Now it seems like she feels like she can justify all her actions because she is bipolar. I feel like she is using her mental health problems as an excuse to justify any bad behavior. I am not going to leave her, but I am at total loss on how to proceed. It doesn't help that I have been away for the last 2.5 years due to training and a 15 month deployment in Iraq. I am not sure how to proceed.

Me- BS 32 M
Her- WW 33
Married 10 years, two children

Read this.
http://forums.healthcentral.com/discussion/bipolar/forums/a/tpc/f/2651085/m/75710961

Well it turns out that me not wanting to leave her is not good enough. She has just told me that since I have been gone she likes being alone and wants a divorce.

Now I am pretty sure she is right in the middle of a depressed episode right now, so I am trying to take what she says with a grain of salt but I am devestated. I have only been back in the states for about 10 days, and I am in Texas and she is in Colorado. I will be moving back to Colorado in a couple of months, she stayed there when I was stationed in Texas because we already have a house and the kids are in school and I only had a few months in Texas before deployment.

I don't want her to leave, but if she is determined I don't know what I can do. I can't talk to her she won't answer the phone and we have been communicating though text messages and emails.