Update.

I got more of the story from "friend".

I was able to track down their last name.

I was able to find BH on a website. I registered on that site and sent him an email. No details yet, because I can't tell if its HIS email or THEIR email or if SHE could somehow intercept it.
* * * * * * * * * *
Here's more of the scoop: WW and OM (my friend) have been involved for over a year. Its become more "serious" between them over the last couple of months. They live in separate states and got together on business trips. Lately OM has been visiting her every other weekend. Apparently OM has met her parents and children recently.
Some of the story is that WW and BH are divorcing. (take all this with a grain of salt....its OM talking) WW and BH are in the middle of this horrible divorce, with him raging and being psycho. Supposedly they are being foreclosed on. However one of the stories is that BH signed the deed with a fake name. (any idea why you'd have to sign anything on a foreclosure???)
Supposedly BH is waiting for his father to get a kidney transplant -- then he's planning to move back to NJ/NY area. Then WW and OM figure they will be free to be more "open" with their relationship. And they figure they will be free to move the children to a new state because BH will be gone.

No doubt BH will be surprised to hear all of this. On the website I found, he had just registered in January. Posted a picture of himself with this wife. And mentioned they were looking to make friends with other families in the area.
(Apparently he's been so tied up with his nasty divorce that he hasn't updated his profile ya think?)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Any suggestions on how to take it from here?

Not to change the subject, but why would you consider this man to be "friend material?" I am not getting that at all. By what standards do you choose friends?

Mel -- you might want to hop back to the start.

I am ending this friendship. I am only keeping the pretense long enough to gather enough intel to expose to the betrayed husband

whew! I feel much better!

I'm in hope that Lexxxy might see this post and reply. I'm new to this site and have seen some good advice and some bad advice. i know that comes w every site in this field but I think Lexxxy has shown that she has gained alot of knowledge over the years. My wife's A started back in April 08,She came clean in September but has since stayed in contact with OM. I have read many books and through council know that we can't start recovery until she lets OM go. I,m going to post my story under infidelity, general questions forum if you would be interested in reading.