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I do have access to his phone and email accounts...I check them regularly...he keeps his email account very cleaned out but that is not a new behavior for him. GSJ, go download a keylogger from www.spectorpro.com. If he is using a computer that you have daily access to, install spectorpro. If it is one you can rarely get on, then install eblaster since it will EMAIL you daily reports. you need to see what he is doing on that computer.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Ok...I will contact her. I will let her know she is not to have any further contact with WH and also not to wait around....cuz he ain't coming your way.
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Contact her and tell her that you are watching them both and that HELL IS COMING HER WAY if she dares contact him again or responds to any contact. TELL HER HELL IS COMING. If you don't feel very confident at the moment. Perhaps write down what you want to say. Keep it short and to the point. Don't even let OW talk. Tell her to shut up and listen so she can't disarm you her nonsense. Then give it to her with both barrels. **we need a smiley with a gun**
Last edited by black_raven; 02/18/09 03:38 PM. Reason: not sure if that sounded off
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Ok...I will contact her. I will let her know she is not to have any further contact with WH and also not to wait around....cuz he ain't coming your way. 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Tell her you will fight for your marriage and your husband.
Tell her your children want their family intact.
You can't tell her what to do -- but you can put a face and a voice to her victims.
Let her know this affair will be no picnic...
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You can't tell her what to do -- but you can put a face and a voice to her victims. Well, yes she can. She can tell her to stay the hell away from husband or there will be hell to pay.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Tell her you will fight for your marriage and your husband.
Tell her your children want their family intact.
You can't tell her what to do -- but you can put a face and a voice to her victims.
Let her know this affair will be no picnic...
I like that Lexxy...I will tell OW that I am going to fight for this M and that the children are very much affected. Having her hear my voice may be much more effective than email.
I do need to get my strength up for this...NO TEARS!!
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Show her your FIST, not your tears. If you show any weakness this little b will think she can run over you. Remember this is a SKANKHO who cared so little about you and your family that she was messing with a married man. So you already know she doesn't care about you.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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WH has now committed to a NC...we agreed to send it together tomorrow when our thoughts are clean and clear. I will be contacting her after the NC is sent to be sure absolutely understands the NC...becoming stronger minute by minute
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here is what Dr Harley writes about how contact should end: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5060_qa.htmlMy advice is to write a final letter in a way that the victimized spouse would agree to send it. It should begin with a statement of how selfish it was to cause those they loved so much pain, and while marital reconciliation cannot completely repay the offense, it's the right thing to do. A statement should be made about how much the unfaithful spouse cares about his spouse and family, and for their protection, has decided to completely end the relationship with the lover. He or she has promised never to see or communicate with the lover again in life, and asks the lover to respect that promise. Nothing should be said about how much the lover will be missed. After the letter is written, the victimized spouse should read and approve it before it is sent [from SAA, pg 58] OW, I want you to know that out of respect and love for my wife and children, I have come to realize that I must never see or talk to you again. My relationship with you was a cruel indulgence that BS did not deserve. While I cannot completely repay BS for the pain I caused her, I will do my best to become the husband she has been missing. I care a great deal for my family and I would not want to do anything to risk their happiness. I will not make any further contact with you and I do not want you to make any contact with me. Please respect my desire to end our relationship.
Sincerely, XXXXX
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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ML,
Thank you, that is a fantastic letter and will be followed closely. I truly appreciate your help!!
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Lake
BW-53
FWH-54
H had EA 3 weeks 06
Married 1977
N C 4-10-06
3 DSs
In Recovery
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