Its not like that. And NO, I would never go suicidal. The pain that would inflict is untenable. Where I'm at is I'm really falling in love w/ the GF. All the depression issues are gone. I've gained all my weight back since d-day. I've stopped drinking a lot. I've stopped all the partying and dating. My fWxW was kind of a royal B the last three years of our M. I think once I realized I was falling in love w/ someone else, I knew the M was officially over in my mind. So that is where I'm coming from. The transition from the BS, to possibly a new spouse, with a new life, capping all the drama and filing it away. My personal support group(A LOT OF CLOSE FRIENDS) got me through everything. I do remember the early days of the M, maybe the first ten years were great, the last few years she was just a royal, mean B most the time. I still feel for her, but am out of love w/ her. Actually, we were somewhat incompatible. What you all are trying to do is NOBLE, I just want you to understand I'm at the T in the road, and taking a right turn. Its at that point I was trying to gain as much clarity for closure to move on to this next relationship with all my senses back. Understand? I love my GF, I wouldn't hurt her for anything. She is WAY TOO sweet and loving. I just needed to clarify as much as I could before making such of a commitment. All part of the process I would presume. I COULD NOT EVEN imagine going back to fWxW. So no, the soul is being healed, just wanted to make sure I do it right the next time round and looking for guidance. There is life after Betrayal outside of the WW.

I hear you Dude and am happy you are moving onto better things. If what you say is truly the case, then you may be standing at the wrong T in the road. You are standing at the T of your fWxW’s intersection. You are analyzing her too much at this stage. What she did, she now owns. So what is the T? Take a left and go back to fWxW; take a right and move on with new GF? I think the T you need to be standing at is to understand yourself and how you may have contributed to your fWxW’s A. Take a left and go back to how you were before; take a right and better yourself for your new GF. All relationships have their challenges and problems, but none call for having an A. Sounds like you may have put your job and career before your fWxW and denied meeting some of her needs. Learn from that, change yourself, and give your new young GF a better you. You keep posting about things pertaining to your fWxW state of being and it shows you keep looking back. Your posts should be more about what fWxW said you did to cause her to stray and how can you fix those things? I know you interact with your xW due to the kids and it hurts you to see her in pain. In your place of caring, all you can do is encourage her to move on and better her own life.

BUT, and this is a big BUT, really dig deep within yourself and decide which intersection you are at. You may be using your new GF as a “new car” to weaken the pain. I’m not saying you don’t care about her, but really make sure you are over your xW. If you are not, you will end up hurting that “sweet and loving” GF you care about. You really should have waited a year or more before dating to process everything, so there is a good change you are not reading your own emotions correctly. You are what is known as an “instinctive” personality. Those are people who act on instinct before thinking things through. Most financially successful people share this trait. It’s not rocket science to accumulate wealth. It just requires action and a lot of it. The opposite are people who over analyze and never make a move. Many scientist and researchers are like this. They analyze every little thing, and even then, they’re not sure they have the answer. You need to come to the middle and analyze, calculate, then act. Learn to understand yourself, your strengths and weaknesses. Improve you character and not your car collection. A Shelby Cobra will not make the pain go away. Now a new Challenger RT with Hemi, now THAT will make the pain go away…

Just be forewarned, your new GF is almost certainly a rebound relationship. Especially the way you describe it above and I did read your thread when you were first here and remember your revenge A - is this GF the same woman?

OK, lets forget about whether or not this relationship is adultery or not, revenge or otherwise. Affairs have crappy enough statistics as it is. However, rebounds aren't really much better. Rebounds are characteristically very intense and intimate (not necessarily physical but certainly emotionally). They do exactly what you describe - they take away the pain. But it's only temporary. Eventually, the pain finds its way back, or when the early high of having a new relationship wears off (similar to an A), one of you realizes that you really don't have anything else in common except the pain. The worst thing is that the end of a rebound relationship can hurt even more than the end of the primary relationship - marriage in your case.

It's something to think about, because though you may be better now than you were the first time you showed up, your pain is still obvious in every word you type.

Infidelity sucks.

Dude, have you ever heard the expression, from Shakespeare's Hamlet, that goes, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks"?

When you post, that expression is what comes to my mind. You talk about all your money, all your cars, all your women and how well your revenge affair worked out for you. Life is good!

In trying to convince others about how well you're doing, what comes though is something much different. It's clear from your other thread that you are in a bit of a quandary - which is to be expected. You moved out of your marriage and onto another relationship very quickly - too quickly. Your ex-wife is still very much on your mind while you have this new young girlfriend.

Perhaps a bit of a time out is in order, so that you can figure out what it is that you really want.

Take care.

Once the divorce is signed, your punishment of your WW has ended.

She didn't abandon you, you made your choice to leave her.

If youwanted a long drawn out pay-back, you should have stayed and just abused her until she left.