Hey yall

It's me Amartini with a new name- something crazy happened to the computer- the MB board would not recognize my password and I no longer have to old email account- so I had to make a new profile. I think its a computer issue- but that is why I haven't been around in a while.

OK- I am here because I need you to talk me down- see I was on my sons facebook account and did a search for OW- and yes she has an account. Now I want to make up some mock account- using a form of a friends name from her classmate account- just so she will accept me- JUST to see if my fwh is on there. I have no real reason to believe there is contact- except the whole A still haunts me.

So as I know NC is NC both ways- I just want to see if he is there-

Hi,

Does your FWH have a Facebook account? If so, why not just ask to see his "friends" on his wall page? You should be able to look at every "friends" page,even if they use a dog as their wall photo! Usually, a person would have to have their own Facebook account to be anyone's Facebook "friend".

Just a thought....
SDW

what is your H doing to ensure he is being completely transparent and can you talk to him about these doubts.

Does your marriage work with MB principles involved?

You don't need a facebook account to look up someone's friends list. Anyone can check a name and see the friends list. If you look up OW name and see the friends list your WH would be listed if he is on friend's list.

GG

Thanks for all the responses-

First- maybe I can't see her friends because she has none- there is no little button that says friends- like my son's facebook account.

Secondly- yes our marriage does work with MB principles applied...
with that I know I broke the NC (as it works both ways) I did it to myself. I should have NC not even a tiny look on her facebook.

I did talk with FWH last night- I was open and honest about what I had done - broken NC and the reason. I asked for his help in keeping me to the boundary of not looking at her stuff to verify his stuff. He is willing to help me.

My fwh has complied with every sane and crazy thing I have asked him to do. I truly believe him to be open and honest- and not involved in any way with the OW. I simply fear the fact that it could happen again.

My emotions and logic often battle each other... logically I know he could be very sneaky and make up a fake account and communicate with her in that manner from a work PC where I'd have NO way to know what the heck was going on... but my emotionally I fear that is what is happening. There is the battle and it tears me up.

However, I know if he does have another A, it would surface again- in his behavior towards me- he would no longer be open and honest (open remotely his work email, call me from his desk phone to let me know he's leaving the office, he would not share his emotions) I know all this but I am still in my own little war.

Back in MC our counselor told me to follow my instinct (head) because they had been on target, then my IC told me to listen to my heart- because logic can be skewed by FOO, wow what conflicting info.