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#2216934 02/19/09 02:06 PM
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Is Plan B only for those who still have contact with the OP?

I feel like I need to withdrawal completely because my W is not willing to move back home, but has committed to NC with the OP. I feel like I cannot take it anymore to not have my W at home, and feel like she is being selfish to do so. I think its time for me to think about me. She tells me that by doing what I am doing and trying to hard it is pushing her away. She doesnt want to feel obligated to do it, but rather do it on her own. I understand that, but this is her fault for cheating. Shouldnt she have to face that instead of running from it? Why should I wait on her hand and foot when she says she is trying to fall back in love with me? I think if she was trying, she would move back.



N0Way0ut #2217010 02/19/09 04:15 PM
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Recovery is about building trust. Maybe she does not trust you because of her indiscretions.

Plod on!


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
N0Way0ut #2217194 02/19/09 08:47 PM
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When was D day?

When did NC start?

This will take time.

TheRoad #2217260 02/20/09 12:21 AM
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D-day 1-1-09 (Assuming this means when I found out)
NC started about a week after.
I am just supposed to wait around for her while she lives with her friend instead of at home with me?



N0Way0ut #2217484 02/20/09 11:36 AM
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Did this friend help cover the affair?

Can you get her and or get her parents to have her move back home with them?

Last edited by TheRoad; 02/20/09 11:36 AM.
TheRoad #2217500 02/20/09 11:49 AM
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She tells me that her friend new nothing about the physical affair, but did know about her going out shopping with him a few times.



N0Way0ut #2255430 05/04/09 08:49 AM
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I am the same as your W. I am in her shoes. My husband gave up on me trying to figure things out. Got a "friend" and now is dating her. Barely any contact with me but says he still loves me and wants to be friends. It's killing me inside. I was almost there with trying to get myself back to normal and he quit. Now I can't get his back. This is going on for 4 months now and no end in sight for me. My advice is don't stop fighting. Keep trying. If you think it's worth the fight then dont' stop. I won't because I know I can make it work. Even alone I am trying.

jen5629 #2259038 05/11/09 12:09 AM
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I think it's best to move on and stop trying. Jen is the prime example.. as soon as she realized her husband gave up on her, she wanted him back. Try to move on and it will bring up feelings of jealousy inside her. Either you find someone better or end up with her again. Either way, it beats running after a woman who does not deserve you.


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