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You're seeing a glimmer of hope, and it is probably sending adrenaline charging through your system right now, but you really need to pay attention to what everyone is telling you:
Go slow. Proceed with caution. Be cool.
Go back and read all the posts to you over the past day or so. Try and let them sink in.
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What has happened to OM? Is he nearby? Ignore this post. I read your reply properly!
But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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Yanno, the posts you are reading are coming from experience. Please heed them. You're at a GREAT place strategically.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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You're seeing a glimmer of hope, and it is probably sending adrenaline charging through your system right now, but you really need to pay attention to what everyone is telling you:
Go slow. Proceed with caution. Be cool.
Go back and read all the posts to you over the past day or so. Try and let them sink in. Thanks for the 2 x 4's. :twobyfour: I'm still going to proceed with the previous plan and watch her actions. When she was telling me what her plans were to move, she is going to burn through her cash from the house sale in no time and will be in a bad situation. I just need to sit back and watch from afar. Thanks guys!
Me BH 49 WXW 50 Married 1998 DS 2002 DD 2005 D Day 1 7/28/08 D Day 2 8/19/08
Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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Once the POSOM here's that you wife is going to have money, he will be back at her door. How do you plan on keeping him away?
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Once the POSOM here's that you wife is going to have money, he will be back at her door. How do you plan on keeping him away? If her plan goes as she hopes, she won't have much money left come April. You figure 3.5K for a security deposit on a place, 1.5K for her bankruptcy filing, plus she has to figure out how to move her barns and that will be at least a couple hundred, a storage unit etc, etc, etc. Plus, she wants our tractor. With a 5K loan payoff on it plus my share of the equity, there's another 7-8K as well. That's pretty much all the cash she will have once the house sells. Speaking of money, she had 10K in a CD held in a joint account. I never touched this. MIL and I talked back in August about depositing it into her Roth IRA so OM won't get it but we never did it. So, about a month ago, the bank that it was held in SIEZED it to pay off her credit card she wasn't paying on. Of course, that was my fault when we talked this morning. She said she was afraid I would take it. I told her if I was going to take it, why didn't I? With the tractor and the house, I figure to have about 15K in my pocket which will = about 5 months of rent, CS, and car payments for me in case of an emergency. I learned my lesson on credit. I like using cash. I still use my debit card but I use it so I can download my expenses easily into Microsoft Money.
Me BH 49 WXW 50 Married 1998 DS 2002 DD 2005 D Day 1 7/28/08 D Day 2 8/19/08
Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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But she will have an apartment. Were you ever able to get an RO against him being around your kids?
Last edited by ouchthathurt; 02/17/09 07:21 PM.
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I still use my debit card but I use it so I can download my expenses easily into Microsoft Money. What? Please explain. How does that work?
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I'm able to download my bank transactions directly into Microsoft Money. So, instead of keeping track of receipts, remembering to balance my statements, and generally keeping taking a lot time to enter stuff, I can just synchronize Money with my bank and easily categorize expenses.
Me BH 49 WXW 50 Married 1998 DS 2002 DD 2005 D Day 1 7/28/08 D Day 2 8/19/08
Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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I just started using Quicken; wonder if it will work with that, too? Thanks for the info!
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Please be very careful. Depending on how things work out, I promise you, that in the end, the financial pieces will mean nothing.
I'm happy you have enough left in the tank to attempt R.
Just don't jump in!!!!!
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What's with keeping the tractor?
But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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Anything new? How are you doing?
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All's quiet on the WW front so far today. No communication so far between the two of us. It's pretty rare that I contact her anyways - she always calls me. I'm just sitting tight and doing my thing.
One thing I noticed over the last 3-4 days is I'm having trouble sleeping. I thought I got through that around October. It's probably due to the stress of having to move my stuff this weekend. We'll see how I sleep after the move is complete. Just a lot to do between now and the 27th.
Me BH 49 WXW 50 Married 1998 DS 2002 DD 2005 D Day 1 7/28/08 D Day 2 8/19/08
Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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What are you doing to take care of yourself? Are you getting enough exercise?
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You're probably losing sleep because after months of crap from WW you see a glimmer of a possibility of R since POSOM is out of the scene.
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I've been repeating the mantra of believe nothing what you hear and half of what I see. In that vein, I'm going by the assumption that OM is not quite out of the picture yet. Either way, reality is starting to creep in with the two of them and it sounds like OM is getting tired of WW's quirks.
On Wednesday, WW was pretty bummed she missed the swimming lesson and we had good conversation over moving logistics. Yesterday, she called to see if I could take the kids this weekend so she can pack up her stuff and move. I said no - I rented a truck and storage unit so I can move my stuff this weekend too.
She then went into a looooooonnnnnnng rant on how she has no place to go, has all this work to do, how I am not helping her with anything, wah, wah, wah. What she wants to do is pack up all my stuff and I can pick them up off the driveway.
I told her I will be packing my stuff up thank you. My plan is to go to the house at around 3pm tommorroww with my sister and brother in law. I'll need to check with the police to see if I can get an escort. As of right now, I am assuming OM is still there and no way do I trust WW not to make up some crazy story.
Once my stuff is out of the house, I think things will be much better. There won't be anything left for WW to argue about in terms of property. If it's true that OM is out of the picture, she can de fog on her own. I'll continue to follow Jen's plan of treating her like we are divorced.
Me BH 49 WXW 50 Married 1998 DS 2002 DD 2005 D Day 1 7/28/08 D Day 2 8/19/08
Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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I've been repeating the mantra of believe nothing what you hear and half of what I see. In that vein, I'm going by the assumption that OM is not quite out of the picture yet. Either way, reality is starting to creep in with the two of them and it sounds like OM is getting tired of WW's quirks. Did you experience any of her quirks? She then went into a looooooonnnnnnng rant on how she has no place to go, has all this work to do, how I am not helping her with anything THIS is thanks to the work of her and OM. Their problem. I told her I will be packing my stuff up thank you. My plan is to go to the house at around 3pm tommorroww with my sister and brother in law. I'll need to check with the police to see if I can get an escort. As of right now, I am assuming OM is still there and no way do I trust WW not to make up some crazy story. Will the police supply an escort? Is OM violent? Once my stuff is out of the house, I think things will be much better. There won't be anything left for WW to argue about in terms of property. If it's true that OM is out of the picture, she can de fog on her own. I'll continue to follow Jen's plan of treating her like we are divorced. Good luck!
But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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If you bring the police escort remind them of the warrant for OM in PA. Whenever she gripes at you about how much you suck and things are hard for her I think you should say, "You chose this path for yourself. These are the consequences." She may not hear it right now, but it's a seed that I'm sure will germinate in time. It's the same exact thought I have now if I hear about exww complaining about how hard things are for her, etc. I know you can't educate a WW, but I don't think there's anything wrong with reminding them of their stupidity. I don't understand why they expect things to be different than they are. Divorce is no picnic and the good ones where the exes are friends really only exist in Hollywood.
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Make sure the OM doesn't walk off with some of your stuff!! I.E. tools etc!!
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by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 03:02 PM
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