Ruf,

Here is what I have up for a profile along with a very nice pic that my daughter took while we were doing her senior shots, it's a close up and I do get alot of compliments on the pic.

Profile:What I would like you to know about me... I am a loving, caring and kind person. I would consider myself to be very loyal and very attentive to others.

I hope to someday find a man that would compliment the type of person I am. And that I might compliment the type of person he is so that we might form one awesome team!!!

I love to flirt and to tease, and sometimes that is as much fun long distance as when in the same room, Flowers for no reason, text messages or emails just to say Hey I care, blow me away!!! I love to do random acts of kindness for others. It's fun to watch them look at people around them and ask themselves could it be her?

Now If I was sitting with your best friend and he was telling me all of the reason that I should go out with his buddy, what might he be saying to me? What is the one thing that your mama would want me to know about you? The answer is not that he has clean underwear on!!!!

You should see some of the answers as to what their friends would tell me.

The Road--I felt bad only cause I am sure that that has happened to that guy before with the squeky voice. It's just one of those I couldn't get over!!

I look at profiles with pics only, and with 5 years on either side of my age, those are the guys that I have the most in common with, except maybe the grandparent thing, I married young and so did my kids, so hence me being a gma at this age!!! Some guys think that is kind of neat.

I still will keep it all in perspective, I am meeting 3 of the guys in the next week or two and will see if there is any chemistry, I am feeling a real draw to the one, but not sure, he likes my corky sense of humor!!! Which is good!!! The one is just so sweet though!!! Perspective!!!!

Dawn

Dawn, thanks for sharing. The part about what their friends would tell you is very good!

I definitely have to write to more people. At least, I should use this time as my 'practise dating' phase. Meet lotsa people, make new friends and not get discouraged by rejection.

Ruf---you pretty much said it all yourself!!!!! Have fun!!!!

I just asked them what was a biggy with them when they meet a lady. Very interesting answers. And definitely not perverted!!!

No I did fess up to looking at a smile and then the butt!!!! But hey when you are playing quarters at the table with a bunch of friends things move fast!!!

Dawn

My next date will fly in on Saturday. I have approached this person from a very different perspective. We talked about theater and inter-cultural communications and coincidentally, I am starting my masters in communications next year. Am having a frantic week looking at alternative universities before I register at the local university. Coincidence because he is a lecturer and all we talk about now are the alternative universities I should be researching. He might even teach the electives in my course!

This is the only person with whom the topic of 'relationship' is furthest away. I am very comfortable with this although it also feels a little strange. Should it? I have not asked for a photo, so I have no expectations and I feel better this way. A real blind date.

I'll post a note on winks. There are scenarios where people are not current subscribers to whatever service your on. They may still browse for free and send winks. Should you respond to a wink, it might give them the impetus to subscribe and escalate the conversation to emails, etc.

I am positive that my best results will come from networking. I will meet my first locally produced referral tomorrow. It appears that my fiend and fellow alderman and his friend have been acting like mother hens in an effort to set me up with someone. The whole process has both an air of excitement and and air of amusement. I'll give the full report in one of my weekend updates.

booka, i replied to a couple of winks... and also did the last round of men whom I find a little interesting, there have been no replies for two weeks...

but anyhow, this is not what today's post is about.

I learnt a lot this Christmas.

I never really understood the beatitudes I studied in Matthew earlier this year, blessed are the meek, the humble in spirit, etc. I serve in the mute ministry in my church. This group of people are not very well educated and they do not understand English, much less read the bible in English. But they are always very enthusiastic in learning about God. They get very excited when they understand a sermon, they are always witty, chatty and my, do they have a lot of friends!

A new couple walked in to our mute service this Christmas. They walked in arm in arm, which I thought was a little odd-- usually couples hold hands. It is only at lunch time that I observed them and found that the husband is both deaf and mute, and the wife blind. How do they communicate when the wife cannot see the husband signing? How does the husband hear?

The husband holds the wife's hands as he is signing. This couple is holding hands, signing all the time!! Wow... I wish you saw the way they communicate. They are so close, so intimate because much of the signs are held near the face, the heart and the body. The husband tells the wife that the elder and I are leaving as we say our goodbyes.

They are so blessed to have each other. It makes what I do online pale in comparison, I who have eyes to see and ears to hear, judge and chuckle at poor profiles and evaluate men like I already know everything. I am humbled by this couple who have so little, yet so much. Indeed, God gives us what we need in our lives.

It's nice that you found some inspiration in the couple from church. Sometimes I feel a dynamic that is under appreciated in a relationship is some adversity. Once we hit the plateau of comfort, there relationship danger lurks. But as much as we take inspiration, have good thoughts, etc., it does not solve the problem that you an I don't have partners. We still need to get out there and work hard at finding someone. For me it's been a long and hard road, although I learned many important lessons along the way, including both what I want and don't want, good things to know about yourself!

I had a mediocre Christmas. I like Dr. Seabird would in general prefer to be somewhere else. I've never been to the Florida Keys, I feel that would be the perfect place to be for Christmas. Maybe next year.

I have loads of philosophy derived form experience in the online dating environment that will someday translate into a book. I think what you will find a common theme is that a lot of people deal with multiple prospects at a time. They rank them and generally communicate with them in the order that they're ranked. This may mean that we're ranked low and that it may take some time for the other person to eliminate some of their more promising and highly ranked prospects. I could launch into a giant diatribe on the tenuous nature of the online dating world and people in general, but suffice it to say that perseverance can help your position. We all want it and we want it now, but life is complicated, there are many outside influences that could prevent someone from communicating in the time period that we would prefer. Stay calm, cool, and collected.

Life is short but making a bad choice makes life seem much shorter. I might trademark that one!

Thanks booka, for the thought. I always learn something from your posts. Dawn said the same thing- multitasking, persistency and most importantly, have fun! I am beginning to enjoy meeting new people now, and am not as shy as I used to be.

I have pretty much covered everyone who's remotely interesting and within my age group and 200km area. Have registered at a eharmony to see if there's anyone from my country.

Ruf--Merry Christmas!!!

I am home alone tonight as my daughter is working and have a ton of stuff to be doing but find myself sitting in front of the computer.

Haven't been here for awhile have some health concerns, that I am dealing with still!!!!

I read and caught up, what country do you live in?

I love the story about the couple in church, you do have to wonder how they communicate, but know that God is there!!!

You'll have to let us know about the lecturer, this weekend!!!

For myself, I meet Bill last weekend, no real chemistry, meeting was short, my girlfriends were there I tried getting him to wait for breakfast. Dan # 2 is just too busy to meet!!! I am down to one short email a week, it's hunting season, and it's just one of those things you learn to understand. John and I are still conversing and have spoken on the phone many times and text on a regular basis, just texted him now as I know he is at a family dinner with "wanted 2 vibrate your pocket." He thought that was funny. Tim decided grandkids were probably about the same as kids. Dan #1 and I have decided email buds it is!!! I have talked once or twice with a few guys that have flirted or emailed me, but nothing more has been established.

But I am having fun, keeping my perspective and have a smile or two while reading the messages.

Dawn

I've been to Key West several times Dutch. If you decide to make that trip, let me know. It's a great place to spend some time, but unless you're a dedicated fisherman or diver, anything more than about 3 days can get a little monotonous. There aren't really any beaches to speak of.

I'm reading "A Moveable Feast" right now. I think I could handle a few weeks in Paris.

In 1920.

Dawn, Merry Christmas and I hope you are feeling better.

I live in the capital city of Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur-- with a population of 2.7million people and where women outnumbers men 2:1!

It sank with the lecturer... I wasn't even running late and he texted me to hurry because the restaurant was getting full. Said he would eat first and I could have a sandwich elsewhere when I come, and that he has allocated half an hour with me because he needs to pack (at 7pm!) for a flight tomorrow. I told him to enjoy his meal, I'll see him when he comes back. Ugh!

You're in contact with so many people! My 2009 resolution is to crawl out of my introverted self to reach out to more people.

Google Map of Kuala Lumpur

Ruf,
What a neat place to live!!! 2:1 isn't good odds tho!!!

The place I live is less then 5K the next town is 85K with lots of little towns around 1-2K and lots of grasslands, cattle and horses, very rural. I do live within an hour of Mt Rushmore in the Black Hills, still not to many to pick from for guys with teeth!!!

I am on singlesnet.com and plentyoffish.com either let you receive emails from those interested without paying, singles you can send flirts and receive emails from paying members.

Like I said I only do picture profiles and not ones where they held the camera at arms length and snapped a shot, those scare me!!!! I read the profile and look for something that I might comment back on if I can email and then I do, I hear back from about every 4th guy. Distance is usually the problem 2-4 hour car trips aren't much fun just for a date.

Good luck and keep trying, he is out there just think of all the frogs you get to kiss in the mean time looking for that prince!!!

Dawn

Geez Ruffled, are these men really -that- clueless? I am flabbergasted. :crosseyedcrazy:

Wow! It's a small town indeed. Your persistence inspires me!

In Kuala Lumpur, about 70-75% of the population are muslims. They are governed by the Syariah law which means their spouses must enter Islam and never the other way round. So my frogs must come from the remainder of the population, age 45 -53, single or divorced, educated, has a job and is sane.

Seabird, aye, I have not yet said anything about the table manners, snorting, vigorous leg shaking and butt scratching!

Match is about the only decent dating website because it's paid. eharmony has 1 candidate in Malaysia. Everyone from Salon in Malaysia is looking for a quickie. There's speed dating, but I don't really favour 5 minute interviews.

Still, I am not giving up!

I've given up for now....Too many shallow men out there! I'm still talking to a few that I've met but I deleted a few more today from IM, cell phone and email and I've let them each know why. I've decided to slowly weed them all out and whoever is still standing by the first of the year will stay. If no one is left standing then I'm going to give it a rest and walk away.

Hmmm... I often let my contacts know why I do not think we are a good match-- politely. The younger ones are gracious, but the older ones, especially if there has been a few emails, are rude or don't get it!

I start school next week so will give it a couple of months rest (while new people sign on) and resume later. Meanwhile, I'll meet people the traditional way... at school, amongst my friends, at events, at the hardware store.

Heheh... I once heard a long time ago (before I was married) that grocery stores were the new singles bars. At the tail end of my separation as the paperwork was being finalized, I used to hit this Kroger Signature store located in one of the wealthier areas of town. There's also a lot of other shopping and restaurants in the area. The only reason I went there was because it was convenient at night after my run at the park. I kept my eyes open for single women, wondering if it would be a good place to meet someone eventually. Window shopping more than anything else. I doubted I'd even have the nerve to hit on some strange woman. The pickings there didn't seem particularly interesting compared to any other grocery store.

Last month my GF and I were in there shopping for T-giving (I think) on a Sunday afternoon. HOLY COW!!! There were single women all over the place, dressed to the nines and on the prowl. The way they'd openly look me (and the other men there) over and attempt to flirt if Jill happened to step away from the cart caught me totally off guard. It actually scared me a little that she'd come back to find some woman chatting me up.

I finally asked her not to walk away from me like that anymore. At first she looked perplexed but when I explained it to her, she got this "Oh, yeeeeeeah..." look on her face and laughed. Apparently that store is a known post-Sunday brunch singles spot. A couple of the contemporary adult radio stations here (ones that I don't listen to) even do singles events there from time to time.

LOL! Do you guys have full size supermarkets Ruffled? Try one of those. Get all painted and lacquered up some Sunday and see if you can't get lucky in the meat dept. :P

Seabird, I do live very near the poshest area of town, where only german and other european cars park. I do my grocery there, but since I don't cook, it's not very frequent. I noticed the pedicured and plunging neckline ladies! Good lord! Teach me some pick up lines!! LOL.

Come to think of it, I do remember turning heads when heading there after my haircut appointment.

At the hardware store, I often don't know how to work things, so it's easy for me to ask for help. The posh area do not have hardware stores because they get their househelp to do all the fixing!

I don't know what world you grocery shop in, but I wish I was there. Eye candy while drudgingly selecting weekly sustenance is a dream. My local Piggly Wiggly just isn't cutting it. Maybe it has something to do with the name. lol

Whatdayaknow! I started studying for my masters in January and all the online matches I have have been helping me with studies and research. There's a professor, a researcher, a consultant in my field of studies... talk about luck!